@Purring-Pussy that makes me feel so sad for you. You tried your best as @WillC said. X
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@Purring-Pussy, that’s an atrocious state of affairs to have to be living with: to see your own child’s mind poisoned by trans/queer-phobic bullshit. I guess all you can do is live in hope that he grows out of it eventually. You gave him a good grounding in common sense: there’s nothing more you could have done. It’s up to him to emerge from his dad’s shadow and step into the light. 
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@Purring-Pussy bless you! That sounds really rough! I’m not sure how I would deal with that situation so I don’t have any advice. Just to hold in there lovely! I’ve got two sons, 8 and 5, and they have been to our local gay pride parade for the last 3 years and we even participated in the last one through work. I’m open and honest with both of my boys and although I don’t go too heavy as they are young we’ve had lots of chats around same sex couples, trans and equality. The the main thing I try to teach them is that love is love. It doesn’t matter who you are or who you love, just be what makes you happy
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Thank you everyone @WillC @Mrs.John @PleasureDrone @Knight1119 @Forever_his for your kind words. Somehow this thread became all about me, I’m so sorry to have derailed it.
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@Purring-Pussy no … that is fine. I never intended for it to be all about me! I was hoping for other people’s experiences of the next generation. I’m just sad that your efforts in the early years has been somewhat derailed x
@Purring-Pussy that’s how conversation works, it goes off on tangents, no need to apologise in my eyes!
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@Purring-Pussy One day he will see through his dad and realise that the way you tried to bring him up was the right way.Hope this is sooner rather than later.A large proportion of males at 21 are onlly slightly more mature than toddlers.
The OP asked for experiences of the next generation’s attitude to sex and sexuality, etc, and Purring-Pussy shared hers? I’m not sure how that’s going off on tangent. It seems very on-topic to me. 
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@Mrs.John - you sound to have done a good job!
Well done. It is hard to actively decide how to bring up children, rather than just going with the flow of wider family, community and everyday life.
Your son asked a very mature question (twice!) and was kind to someone.
I have 3 kids - two of them are teens.
They are accepting of others and of difference (our 3rd has disabilities). That is how we have lived as a family - the 5 of us are all very different. OH and I are very open about sex, sexuality, politics, beliefs, disability, values etc etc. Dinner time conversation, really!
They know they can talk to us about anything (they might not choose to, the further they go on the teen journey, but that is normal). I hope they would always treat others with respect but also stand up for themselves and others in the face of bullies.
I would like to think all parents hope for that, but sadly that isn’t the case.
OH and I made a conscious effort to make our children’s upbringing different to our own.
In answer to your question about the next generation, I think they are more informed - and therefore, more empowered. My teens don’t have much truck with ‘identity politics’ as a movement, or with more conservative models of society (ie left / right politics), but I know they take each individual and each cause at face value and their first response is to accept authenticity.
Teens can be good judges of what is fair and just.
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Thanks @MsR
I suppose the decision was to be as open as was acceptable at age appropriate levels. But it definitely starts young explaining that different isnt bad.
One of his first school friends had a limb difference and he was fascinated by it. Open communication starts young.
You sound so much like me. We encourage him to stand up for himself and what he believes.
Good work Mama
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@Mrs.John - absolutely right.
I do wonder how our older two have been shaped by having a sibling with disabilities - if so, I think it is in a good way.
I had the ‘big sit down chat’ about periods and sex - all a bit late but my parents were always better about periods (biology) than they were about sex (morality) - and my OH’s family didn’t discuss it at all beyond a vague message about the glories of sexual union within the wonders of a Catholic marriage (I’m not Catholic).
We didn’t want any big sit down chats or religious messages about sex. We brought ours up knowing it all (age appropriately) from the start. There was a good book for little ones called ‘Where’s Willy’?, which horrified my sister. A bit later we bought a BBC book called The Facts of Life - I remember my 7yr old marching proudly to school with it under his arm, to show his teachers - pop up penis and all!
I don’t know if our kids are a similar age, but a while back Cbeebies had a presenter with an arm which stopped just below the elbow - there were complaints from parents who thought their kids would be scared. We didn’t say anything to ours, but they mentioned it. I remember OH asking them what they thought it might feel like. One said, ‘itchy?’ and they moved on, accepted it as another normal.
Good work Mama - right back atchya!
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@MsR i saw that lady on Pointless and didn’t notice until quite far into the show. How parents think she could be frightening i don’t know!
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Yes, this.
I’m glad that my kids are growing up with a wide variety of family friends, including same sex couples and gay friends as well as heterosexual friends.
Some people are more comfortable sticking with people who are just like they are, but I like the variety and interest that friends with different lifestyles bring.
I think the measure of a person is in how genuine they are, how they treat others and how they live their values.
@MsR my Son tended to watch those “just after school” programs with my Mum and I remember her telling me that they had spoken about the lady you mentioned.
My Son had really good sex education at school so I had catch up conversations with him after those.
They would outline for parents what they discussed so that was really good.
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Oh for goodness’ sake - WTF??
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@PleasureDrone 8 - 10years ago?
She was a good presenter - thankfully most kids are born without a prejudice chip.
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@Mrs.John this is an aside and off-topic (sorry!) but earlier this afternoon I ordered the body I think you might be wearing in you profile pic - hope it looks as good on me!
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Often it’s the parents that are the problem. Children are blank slates and often kids pick up their prejudices from them.
When i was at school in the early 70’s a black girl joined our class in primary school, she was put on our little table with me, my best friend and two girls, we all got on fine. The black girl had come over from Kenya. The thing that struck me about her, was how neat her handwriting was.
About 12 years ago, i was contacted by that girl via Friends Reunited…she told me that on her way to school she was always racially abused by kids from the local secondary school. But she remembered me for befriending her and teaching her to play chess (Which i’d totally forgot). Apparently her mom and dad had come over here to better themselves, whilst she and her sisters were looked after back in Kenya by her grandad. He sadly died and they ended up here.
She thanked me for being kind to her and being her friend, and i will not lie, it made me blub. I told my mom about it, and she just said, it showed that she’d brought me up right, which i couldn’t argue with.
Now we are friends on Facebook, as are my best mate from then, and the two girls despite being spread over the globe.
Prejudices wether based on race color, creed or sexuality are not inherent in children, they are picked up by outside influences.
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