Happy Sunday all.
I’m not sure if anyone will be interested in this topic but just had a couple of things I wanted to share.
Last night my early teen Son and I were sat around the fire pit enjoying the warm evening and having a relaxed chat.
He has been brought up to be open minded and accepting of people (as myself and my Husband were). From an early age any questions he had EG seeing gay couples etc were always answered and discussed openly.
He told me about several people in his friendship group who are LGBTQ+ and he said he was glad that he knew myself and Mr John would never be unwelcoming to any one he was friends with based on race, religion, gender identity, sexual preference etc. We discussed this at length and I said that it would not make any difference to us at all. A friend is a friend. I did at this point stress that if he were to tell us he was gay / pan etc that would not be an issue. He is already a ladies man, always seems to have a girlfriend and he said that he is straight (again not a big deal either way).
The next subject really made me think. There is a new student in his class. Unisex name, uniform, hairstyle etc. He said that he was chatting to them and then he asked “what are your preferred pronouns?” They answered “they - them”. He said that’s was cool, they then told my Son they are Pansexual, he was unsure of what this meant and they discussed.
Firstly I am really proud of him and how grown up and considerate he was in this conversation. I’m also really pleased he can talk openly to me. I was able to answer a few questions he had about certain terms he had heard but not understood.
I am also really pleased how things seem to have moved on since I was his age. I had gay friends who didnt disclose this til much later. He has learnt a certain amount from health and wellbeing classes in school. This has to be a positive thing!
I suppose my reason for this post is do other LH members see this in their children / grandchildren etc? Do you discuss these things with them?
Sounds like you’ve raised him well!
I don’t have kids myself, but my parents were… not “anti-gay”? But deffo not accepting of it or anything of that persuasion. Over time they have become more understanding.
Not being part of the LGBT+ community I can’t really speak for them, but as a human being it makes me happy that we are moving forward in such a way!
I don’t have any children but I just wanted to comment and applaud both you and Mr. John for keeping such an open mind and communicating int on to your son.
Acceptance is extremely important, especially when it comes to non-cis, non-straight people.
I cannot thank you enough for doing the right thing!
Thanks both. @Smultron I have to be honest I am not sure when he got so mature. His “what are your preferred pronouns” blew me away. He was so matter of fact in our discussion about this (and black lives matter). I will definitely keep this dialogue open now x
You’ve been doing an amazing job raising him.
I understand that it can be tough, tricky to navigate and might catch you off guard sometimes, but you are doing the right thing!
I’m afraid I’m another without children so can’t really comment on that but just wanted to say it was a real pleasure reading your post. Your Son sounds a very mature young man and a credit to you!
Great stuff. I don’t have kids but have a teenage cousin and younger nephews and often talk about how difficult it must be growing up today.
It’s great that people more and more be who they want, but for teenagers in particular in my mind, having all these labels would confuse the heck out of me and make me feel like I had to pick one I’m sure.
I’m talking about myself here and I don’t mean to cause offence to anyone… I just remember peer pressure with “cliques” or “music genre” let alone the pressure of deciding what you want to be sexually… I didn’t have the easiest time as a teen and I’m a heterosexual white female so who knows how anyone else gets through it!
Let’s hope this really is the start of a more open and accepting society.
I haven’t any children @Mrs.John, & a lot has changed since I was at school, it’s nice to see children being more tolerant. When I was young if you were different you got beaten up .
Sounded horrible @WillC, I was beaten up and threatened all through my secondary school, my only crime was being tall, skinny and my teeth stuck out, I had to wear a brace for two years, they always attacked as a gang, gutless scum
I’ve got no children but am interested to hear how things have changed so thanks for starting the topic @Mrs.John. One niece did mention they had a “non-binary” toilet at school which nobody used - apart from one person on the grounds it was always clean.
@Mrs.John I absolutely love this, you’re good parents
I brought my son up pretty much the same and was so proud of the way I had been open to him…that was until he moved into his dad’s.
His dad doesn’t believe in trans people, that they should stay the gender they were born. He’s very anti-gay and extremely racist.
As my son’s dad is the apple of my son’s eye and can’t do no wrong, he now believes I taught him a load of nonsense.
It totally breaks my heart I very rarely see him now, his dad says I fill his head with rubbish.
Aww @Purring-Pussy people are so narrow minded and brainwash people into their way of thinking. Unfortunately this doesn’t help right now but sending all my love and strength to you to get through this difficult time and I’m sure 1 day he will understand the world better and you will reconcile
So sorry to hear that @Purring-Pussy I hope he will open his eyes to reality one day soon. It sounds like you did a good job and did everything in your control xx
I thought he’d have seen the light by now being 21. I feel like I’ve failed but deep down I know I’m a bloody good mum and have been the best I could be.
One niece did mention they had a “non-binary” toilet at school which nobody used - apart from one person on the grounds it was always clean. 
I very rarely see him now, his dad says I fill his head with rubbish.
