this isnt about sex, more a thought on your soulmate...

Sex Tips & Talk
41

I'm a Spiritualist and the answer from that perspective is, before we are born we choose our path in life, and agree before hand who we will be reunited with and in what way in the next reincarnation (if we choose to reincarnate). This might sound a bit strange because when we think about the bad times we have had in ife we wonder why we would have chosen to go through it. The answer is it's about soul progression, each step in life makes the soul wiser and leads to higher levels of experience and spirituality for the soul.

Sometimes when we meet someone we feel we have known them before - that is because we have, although not necessarily as a lover or a partner, that is why we have different levels of feelings for people and sometimes it can mean the person is meant to be your friend, or maybe your lover, depends on the situation and how you new them in a pervious life.

If your soul mate dies then you have another partner, the answer to that is, when you are crossed over to the spirit world you will be able to have time with anyone you choose however you choose to do it. There will be no problems at all with that, the spirit world is made of pure energy and thoughts create actions. Time as we know it here on earth does not exist, so it is not a problem.

That is my belief based upon my religion and its teachings.

42

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

My OH is in a world of pain with rhumatoid arthritus as well as a few other health problems and diseases. He currently takes 20 tablets a day and doesn't do a lot for the pain he is in. [...] He isn't recieving DLA he applied for [...] And I am only recieving job seekers allowence. So finances are a big struggle for us. I'm positive he is depressed, but like anyone who is deep in a depressive state, its next to impossible to get him to seek help.

[...] he finally told me that he has signed his will, talked to his family about his health deteriations, and asked me to make sure I feed the cat when he dies! [...] He has told me very plainly that he does not plan to kill himself, but if his illnesses come to the worst and he surely cannot look after himself anymore, then he does not want to live like that.

I have known people with illnesses, terminal, chronic, since birth or acquired later. I've got a disability I acquired a few years back. Adjusting to a new chronic illness or disability can absolutely be incredibly difficult and depressing. It really sucks, I know. It's tough, but it is possible to emotionally come out the other side to a better place. With the people I've met, I have come across two main coping strategies which people tend to adopt in these circumstances. One is a determination to live life to the full and gain as much enjoyment as possible in the circumstances, and the other is to give up and essentially die before they die.

For partners and carers, the second strategy tends to be the most difficult. In my experience, there is only so much you can do and the rest is up to him. He can maintain emotional responsibility for himself regardless of illnesses and disabilities (unless he is mentally ill which is a whole other story). If he is determined to die before he dies and try to drag you down with him, then that is his choice. On the other hand, you can choose to relinquish responsibility for the things you cannot change in him, and accept responsibility for yourself and your own well being. I know a lot of carers who neglect themselves in their efforts to care for those they care for, and I think that's really unfortunate.

I encourage you to resist his efforts to bring you with him into his current state, and to care for yourself as best you can. I encourage you to enjoy life to the full within your own circumstances, and to help your partner to do that too if that's what he wants.

From your description of your current situation, it sounds to me like neither of you can go on like this for much longer. So I think that something really has to change.

I hope you can accept my thoughts about this in the sincere good will I offer them. However things turn out, I wish you all the best.

43

Hi WandA. Have you ever read a book by Dr Anthony Peak called Is there life after death?

Very Interesting indeed. Nothing too deep but thought provoking non the less.

SG69

44

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

Hi WandA. Have you ever read a book by Dr Anthony Peak called Is there life after death?

Very Interesting indeed. Nothing too deep but thought provoking non the less.

SG69

Nope, never heard of it... doing a quick search now... You ain't tryna convert me are you SG? External Media

I study philosophy so I think about lots of pointlessness!

Reading a couple of reviews that book seems to blur the authors opinions and scientific 'fact'... Something that would really annoy me!

The big issue for me is that science reaches conclusions and is constantly moving forwards.... Issues like this remind me of creationist arguments and such... As far as I am concerned all evidence we have either points to evolution or is undetermined... To believe otherwise involves disregarding 200 years of 'proven' science to fit, what is often an agenda. Science is nuetral. It has no agenda, it reports fact... When spirits and religion get involved I get a bit uneasy as people often stop following their heads and follow their hearts and wants (such as a belief in God).

But thank you anyways SG!

45

I've been with my husband since we were 16 and know I could never love anyone else, ever - so yes, he is my soulmate and I hope we will be one of the old couples you read about who die within days of each other.

46

I believe in soul mates, and I believe my OH is mine, whenever i've met anyone else, i may have liked them, and grown to love them over time, but it was still only a feeble love, barely worthy of the term love.

When i met my OH, there was a connection, like we'd known each other our whole lives, and that connection has lasted, with every moment we spend together, ive never felt this way before, and neither has he.

x x x

47

I don't believe in soulmates, or an afterlife. But I do believe in the fact that certain people are just 'right' for each other.

My fiancee and I split up two years ago, when I was going through a bout of depression that made me feel like I was going mad and rather than asking for help I ran away, but we've managed to come back together despite a very difficult two years for the both of us.

To be honest I'd rather not really think about losing him at all; we've promised each other that this time is 'forever'. But in terms of if one of us passed away - I don't know. In the two years we were apart neither of us managed to move on properly, we both tried and failed miserably. But is that because we knew the other was still jsut at the other end of town, and could still check up on each other on social networking sites? If we knew the other one was truely gone then maybe we'd decide we Had to move on. I really don't know, it's a tricky one.

Regarding one soul 'waiting' for the other, I just can't believe in that. I believe in energy and that, as science proves, energy cannot be destroyed, merely re-used. I do believe that this energy can hold a level of consciousness so I guess there's the possibility that two peoples energy could meet again one day in another form - But that energy is used for soooo many things it'd be very diluted; eg you could be a bit of a rock, a bit of a pencil, a bit of a tree, a bit of a cat and a bit of a new human. Hrm, possibly getting too in to this - I think I shall go and see what perverse txt is waiting for me from OH and take to the bath.

Thank you for really makign me think tonight, it's been a while since I've been challenged thusly.

48

Ecksvie wrote:

I agree that there is an element of evolution in there. I do very much believe in the Darwinian model of evolution and that we evolved from apes. Still, there are many, many other species of apes which have remained at a very primitive level compared to us. I'm not a biologist or anything like that, but I would imagine that our needs from our primitive ape days were very similar if not identical to all the other species of apes. I've not properly thought about this before. I'm not sure whether we got so intelligent because of souls, or whether souls picked us because we had potential and helped us to grow. Perhaps they even picked our species on a whim! I dont know, but I dont think I can put our unrivalled intelligence down to evolution alone.

I like your point....In my opinion, we are really very similar to many of the great apes, genetically (as I'm sure so many people know) we are 99% similar to Chimps and 97% similar to Orangutans. We learn, use tools, plan ahead, communicate and prefer to be in social groups like many of the great apes. Many great apes also have the capacity (specific part of the brain) to speak but have presumably never had the need.....any way, my point is, maybe we aren't that much more intelligent than the other great apes, maybe we just interpret our own intelligence better and maybe the other great apes are just so perfectly designed to their environment that they don't need to evolve greater intelligence or the ability to speak. My question is....does intelligence = soul?

I personally don't believe that souls exist, I like the point of existing energy and I'm undecided on this point, I can see the possibilities but question whether this could be a soul as can energy remember and thus can it "wait" for another piece of energy.

As you can guess, I am very interested in science and find it hard to ignore so I don't believe in souls, but I am a softy really, I do believe everyone has someone who is perfectly compatable for them (and maybe more than one person) and this compatability makes them "right" for each other. By compatable I mean almost "other half of the whole" sort of thing, not identical, that would be boring, but complimentary. I don't think I could love another person the way I love my OH, I think anyone else would always have to accept that they were second best (harsh but true). If he were to die young then I guess I would have to move on and I know he would want me to but he would always be my number one and others would have to accept that. I'd mourn him 'til I died.....and in death? Hopefully I would be proven wrong, science doesn't claim to have all the answers! But if not, I hope to have enjoyed a full love life with my OH knowing in my mind that we may never meet again.

Ax

49

i dont believe in soulmates because i don't really believe in souls

i think things happen that mean you find someone who fits you just perfectly

for instance if i had never accepted a friend request on myspace from some girl called sam, i would neever have became best friends with her, she wouldnt have met her (now ex) boyfriend, and he wouldnt have introduced me and my fiance

so maybe if i hadnt been feeling so low and needed someone to talk to i wouldnt have made friends with her and subsequently found my partner,

but maybe if i had done something else, in ten years i would have found somebody else out there who made me feel the same

but luckily for me i believe now i have found the man i intend to be with forever

sorry if this is not understandable, but its very late and i'm tired :]

50

AdnaW wrote:

I hope to have enjoyed a full love life with my OH knowing in my mind that we may never meet again.

Ax

External Media Awww eh AdnaW you got me crying here girl.

SG69 x (cue theme from The Hulk)

51

Vampyrewillow wrote:

i dont believe in soulmates because i don't really believe in souls

i think things happen that mean you find someone who fits you just perfectly

for instance if i had never accepted a friend request on myspace from some girl called sam, i would neever have became best friends with her, she wouldnt have met her (now ex) boyfriend, and he wouldnt have introduced me and my fiance

so maybe if i hadnt been feeling so low and needed someone to talk to i wouldnt have made friends with her and subsequently found my partner,

but maybe if i had done something else, in ten years i would have found somebody else out there who made me feel the same

but luckily for me i believe now i have found the man i intend to be with forever

sorry if this is not understandable, but its very late and i'm tired :]

Something similar happened with me and my fella....he lived in Liverpool and I lived in Derby, we started speaking purely by chance and so many little changes would have meant we would never have met!

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

Awww eh AdnaW you got me crying here girl.

SG69 x (cue theme from The Hulk)

I think it's a sad thing about religion, it makes people believe they have a second chance and gives them the excuse not to live this life to the full....the beauty of only believing we live once means you make the most of every single moment!

Ax

52

Vampyrewillow wrote:

i dont believe in soulmates because i don't really believe in souls

i think things happen that mean you find someone who fits you just perfectly

for instance if i had never accepted a friend request on myspace from some girl called sam, i would neever have became best friends with her, she wouldnt have met her (now ex) boyfriend, and he wouldnt have introduced me and my fiance

so maybe if i hadnt been feeling so low and needed someone to talk to i wouldnt have made friends with her and subsequently found my partner,

but maybe if i had done something else, in ten years i would have found somebody else out there who made me feel the same

but luckily for me i believe now i have found the man i intend to be with forever

sorry if this is not understandable, but its very late and i'm tired :]

Aaaaa... raises the question of fate now!External Media

I agree with you for the most part, Me and my OH have/had crossed paths before online even when she was 90miles away...

53

You 2 defo sound like you were made for each other.

I mean. . . .even your names are each others but in reverse!

Coincidence? I think not!

Jokes apart you do though guys!

SG69 x

54

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

You 2 defo sound like you were made for each other.

I mean. . . .even your names are each others but in reverse!

Coincidence? I think not!External Media

Jokes apart you do though guys!

SG69 x

Two cynical bastards...External Media

The patronising from people about being 'young lovers' isn't too bad now after close to 5 years together...

I like to think so SG! Thank you very much!External Media

55

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

You 2 defo sound like you were made for each other.

I mean. . . .even your names are each others but in reverse!

Coincidence? I think not!External Media

Jokes apart you do though guys!

SG69 x

Thanks SG, he just needs to learn to take his tea without sugar and then he's perfect External Media....

Ax

56

AdnaW wrote:

Thanks SG, he just needs to learn to take his tea without sugar and then he's perfect External Media....

Ax

Don't think I haven't realised you're slowly reducing it...

57

I'm not sure that a soulmate necessarily has to be the person you're married to / in a relationship with, but to be honest I'm not sure there is such a thing.

I have a couple of friends (both women) with whom I can talk about anything - and have done. I seem to be able to talk more freely with them than with my wife. But I love my wife and she completes me. I would be devastated if anything happened to her, but I would recover - eventually. Most people do.

I probably would not look to remarry, but I would certainly look for another relationship - I'm not really cut out for monk-hood, and I'm not interested in sleeping around anymore. Done that when I was a teenager and I'm much more fulfilled in a stable relationship.

I also am not sure whether or not a soulmate can be the same sex as you (in a none sexual context ...) My oldest friend who knows me as well as anyone I would call a "soulmate"

But I suspect I may not have got the concept of a soulmate entriely clear in my mind?