Threesomes - yet again...

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Yes yes I know this has been posted a million times, but I'd like a bit more info into our situation specifically if anyone's had a similar experience.

We've been together for 6 years and after a fairly "dry" year or so, our sex life is back with full force. As such we've been discussing our likes and fantasties a bit more lately and one that keeps coming up is the idea of a threesome.

We've previously ruled it out due to both of us hating the thought of one of us being with another person, but we both are curious and like I said lately it keeps cropping up.

I watched a lot of porn in my teenage years and one of my biggest turn ons is seeing my fiance in the same light. As such we like to stretch her out a bit - we've got large dildos that we both love to use on her and although anal play isn't something we're really into, we've recently started using them for double vaginal penetration whilst we're having sex, which drives both of us crazy. Fisting has long been a goal but with her being quite petite and my hands being quite large, isn't something we've quite managed yet!

I therefore have been fantasising lately about her being with two guys, spit roasted and double penetrated. This throws up a couple of obstacles.

1) I don't particularly want to have sex with my fiance with another man - it's something I'd potentially be open to, but once I start thinking of the logistics I just think it'd be weird and awkward. Plus I'm not sure I'd like watching her being fucked by another guy, regardless of how much attention she was also paying to me.

2) I hate the idea of cuckolding, I just don't get it. I can't think of anything worse than being present whilst she was getting fucked by two other guys

3) One potential solution I've thought might work is if she had a three (or more) some with other guys whilst I wasn't there, and it was filmed so I could watch it later. Again though this has it's potential issues. Once it's done is done, and although I like the idea of it, I'm worried that watching it back I'd just be like "oh look, the love of my life is pleasuring two other dudes. That's not cool". And on a similar note, whilst it was happening what would it be like if I was sat at home knowing that at that moment two guys were balls deep in my fiance? Also and this might seem petty - how would it be filmed? I'd want pretty good production value to feel like it was worth it!

After speaking to her about it, it seems the feelings are mutual the other way around - she's open to bi-play so a FFM threesome would seem to be a good idea as everyone could get involved (in a MMF threesome I'm not open to any bi-stuff, other than obviously rubbing members whilst inside her) but at the start of our relationship she was very insecure and she's worried that with FFM threesome those feelings would come back, either during or afterwards.

Also to be honest although it was a teenae fantasy of mine I'm not sure I'd even enjoy a FFM threesome that much. Again, the logistics seem a bit awkward, and I'm a bit self conscious with new lovers so not sure I'd actually enjoy it that much. Having said that I've always liked the idea of a girl riding me whilst another one sits on my face, so at least that's a positive!

What are people's experiences with similar situations? I've thought going to a swingers club might be a good idea to further explore this stuff but neither of us want to "swing" in the traditional sense - ie swapping partners.

The best way I can sum it up, which I've said to her and she agrees, is that if there was a video of her in a threesome or gangbang from before we were together, I would happily watch it and find it a MASSIVE turn on.

2

This sounds similar to me and my hubby....we both fantasise about a threesome, me more than him if I'm honest but would we ever go there in reality? Probably not .

You sound hesitant and have mentioned a few things that you're not sure you would be at ease with and they're the same things that would stop me and my OH from indulging. Once you've watched your partner having sex with someone else you can't unsee that so you have to be really sure it's what you both want.

And then there's insecurity rearing it's head too. You certainly don't want to ruin your relationship with jealous feelings and insecurities because sometimes you can never get over that.

As for the swingers club, there are probably others on here who are better placed to advise you on that as I have never been to one but from what I understand you don't have to swap partners you and your OH can just watch or maybe have sex while being watched without others joining in.

Basically you both need to be 100% certain before involving anyone else in your sex life and if you're not sure then maybe keep it as a sexy fantasy for the time being.I'm not trying to put you off but think about it very carefully....good luck.

4

Right now, I would strongly advise you against going down this route. I would highly doubt that anyone who has had a threesome while in a committed relationship hasn’t had any doubts, you seem to have a lot.

If the thought won’t go away, why not have your wife watch porn and masturbate while you watch or film it and watch later and for you do do the same another time. Or maybe use a cam site?

The other thing you could do is attend a swingers club together. Both agree that you won’t be joining in and see how you feel in that sort of environment.

5

www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/sex-dolls/

Get a sex doll and keep it as a fantasy!

6

Be aware that finding another woman for an FMF isn't going to be easy, that's why they are called unicorns!

Unless you are both really up for this it's best kept a fantasy. You never know how you are really going to feel watching your OH fucking someone else, until it happens. Then, if you haven't enjoyed it, there may be relationship problems.

You seem to be suggesting you'd be happy if she was a hotwife, as long as you could see a film of her play. That might be a way to go, some couples are OK with that situation.

In a 3some, someone is always going to feel a bit left out, unless the odd one out is bi-playful. We'd advise that a 4some is the best way to start if you really want to experience group-sex, it doesn't have to be 'hard' and could be a soft-swing, swapping partners for foreplay only. That's how we started.

Agree that you could go to a club and just watch others. There's no pressure to participate.

The main thing is to both talk about it, think of all the angles, pluses and minuses before you decide.

7

me and my OH have had a 3some before. It was a fantasy of mine, never really thought we'd do it. But one drunken night we did.

Was it fun? Yeah it was great. Would I do it again? Probably.

Is it something I'm desperate to do? Not really.

Even though I'm a guy I prefer the idea of MMF rather than MFF, my Mrs isn't bi in any way. I think she'd be more than open to doing stuff with another girl but it doesn't get her going.

The thought of my Mrs being pleasured really turns me on, whether it's her playing with herself or someone else pleasuring her.

Does the thought of her being fucked by someone else, even when I'm not there turn me on? Definitely.

But would I want that to happen? I'm not sure.

At least if you're there you have control and if the other man or woman has any respect then they will understand you're in control and what you say goes.

The other guy we did it with asked me everytime he went to do something. She was going to give him oral sex and he said, is it ok?

when he went to fuck her he asked if it was ok.

if I said no it wasn't happening.

Sometimes things are best left as fantasies, but I have no regrets and with the right person I would happily do it again.

Peak suggested maybe some soft swapping with another couple, that could work. Let you explore what you may and may not want and theres a lot less pressure because even if you end up not being as comfortable as you thought, it's not like you've just got one horny guy sat in your living room disappointed he isn't getting any.

It's tough but only you and your OH can make the decision, just don't jump into it unless you know it's something you both want and won't affect your relationship going forward. A relationship ending is not worth 10 minutes of fun.

8

I've had FMF and MFM threesomes in my younger years...I wasn't in a commited realtionship with any of the females.....logistically, they can be awkward, but I don't regret them. I have approached the subject during sex with the Mrs, asking her how she'd like her nipples sucked whilst I was going down on her......and what she'd do if she opened her eyes to find a hard cock right in front of her face...during this she's indicated she'd love it...however, I'm not sure this would translate into reality...I am turned on by the though of her having sex with another guy, BUT, again, I'm not sure how this would translate into reality, I pretty much know she wouldn't go for this......we have discussed going to a swingers club and she was open to the idea, but not wanting to introduce another man or woman into our relationship.......think that like you, this is best kept as a fantasy until (if ever) it is discussed and agreed fully

9

Thanks for the replies everyone - DNK that sounds like a pretty good scenario to be fair.

Maybe in the future we'll pop along to a swingers club and see if any feelings stir, but until then we'll just continue playing with toys and making home movies...

10

thats helped me , thank you peaks couple

but its finding a genuine swingers club

we would be more comfy with a 4 some than a 3some

(3 some totally out of the question for both of us)

we are still in the talking about it stage at the moment

11

cardiff_couple wrote:

thats helped me , thank you peaks couple

but its finding a genuine swingers club

we would be more comfy with a 4 some than a 3some

(3 some totally out of the question for both of us)

we are still in the talking about it stage at the moment

This isn't an advert as we have no connection with this group, apologies if it breaks any rules.

Here's a genuine swinger club near you. We know people who have been to Chamelons at Newport and they say it's very good. We are regulars at Chamelons at Birmimgham and it's run by the same group - and definintely our best club by far.

12

thank you for your help and advice guys

13

I'd stay away from experimenting, if it isn't what you thought it was going to be, then the damage will probably be irreversible!

Other avenues can be just as fun but without the risks...

Example: Tie and blindfold her, naked to the bed, start to ravish her then leave the room, come back and pretend someone is with you (recorded voices on your phone) make love to her with her thinking she's got an audience?

Example 2: Go to a swinging club, watch others play and get turned on.
Play with her and experiment with exhibitionism, but keep the fun between you two

Example 3: Give each other dares, in the bedroom, out of the house, around the house, in the swinging Club - anywhere?
Your imagination is your only limitation

Example 4: Dress up as someone different and pretend to be other people

There's a bag load of fun to be had with each other, that can involve other people, like making love in the same room, or on cam

I've had fun with other partners in the past, where we were all in agreeance that we were comfy with other people in the mix, and it's a totally different story when it's all over or during as jelousy rears it's ugly head

Risk vs reward, and it just ain't worth it when you have a brilliant partner

Find risqué fun with each other, you'll have the bond to try new stuff but without a 3rd party getting involved