I’d love to find new ways to initiate sex as the dominant partner. For ground-rules, we‘re thinking firm but polite commands/ requests /suggestions (no trash talk, slut-shaming or humiliation in general). Anyone have any favourite ideas to share? I understand that my wife won’t always be in the mood or physically feeling up to an extended kinky session, so I’m also looking out for any tips to gently check out when she’s more likely to be up for a bit of consensual non-consent. It would be great to not have to ask outright, for fear of undermining the dominant role, but similarly, don‘t want to invest in a surprise that is unwelcome. Any top tips?
Kinda keen particularly to hear subs’ favourite experiences on this. Sorry, should‘ve mentioned this! :D
Develop a safe word that you will stop immediately if she says it. Then you are free to grab her whenever you want, knowing that if she is up for it then she just wont say the safe word. That way you actually dont have to ask her.
Make sure you discuss it all beforehand and she is happy with this, and be prepared to stop immediately if she uses the safe word.
Thanks sexlover222. Great advice.
A surprise takedown can definitely be fun. Nothing like a bit of consensual manhandling sometimes :D
I guess I should've mentioned we already have some experience of BDSM play, and I know my wife's likes and dislikes really well now. I have her prior consent for lots of fun stuff & she's free to safeword out at any point. Sorry I wasn't clear on that..
I suppose I'm hoping to hear about specific examples of how others enjoy initiating play or being directed.
For instance, I might try sexting during the day to request she bathe and put on hold-ups and heels for me before I arrive home. If I'm prepared, I can leave a favourite vibe in the top drawer for her and instruct her via text to get into bed with it and get busy as I'm arriving home.
In another gentler version of the surprise takedown, I might direct her to the bed by sitting on it and giving her a look, and then pat the bed beside me. I can then slowly and teasingly undress her and tie her up, so emphasising the care, as well as the domination.
Would love to hear any and all ideas or favourite experiences!
Thanks. x