Hubby and i enjoy sex and recently we have been adding extras to our sessions. Things like watching porn, toys, dressing up etc. its great, and lasts a whiie and is usually pre planned by me!
The things is im kind of worried that by introducing so much (recently ordered a lot of stuff due to come next week!) that we will lose the ability to enjoy plain sex.
dont get me wrong, i love trying out new things, new toys, new positions and eveything, but sometimes i dont feel like a marathon session so just stripping off and a quickie would do me but im worried that we will reach a point where normal sex seems "boring".
is this a real posibility, or just something i shouldnt worry about? Does anyone limit the use of extras during sex or does it become something that you both cant do without?
i guess im worrying over nothing! Its just when you hear in the media stories about how some men are finding it hard to be satisfied sexually because they spent their youth watching lots of porn and then finding the reality doesnt live up to the fantasy it made me wonder if thats the same with toys!
i dont want to end up being like one of these couples who cant orgasm unless theyre using all their toys and having a full blown sex session because they have become desensitised to the feel of just regular sex!
I think this is a really interesting and valid question.
ive worried about the same thing because we've recently started anal sex and now all I want is this....I'm worried that vanilla is now boring and I need to now think of something else to progress further....
I've recently been pondering a similar thing. My thinking is that it's best to try to mix it up as much as possible- if you're going to try different things, try keeping them varied so that you don't 'get used' to one thing in particular.
I think it's great to explore new things and experiment with kink, but perhaps chucking in some vanilla every now and then (and making it great- i.e. really romantic- candles, music, whatever) as well as the quickies, will stop you from fixating on one thing.
Like anything in life if you do the same things too often you run the risk of getting bored which is why it's a good idea to vary the sort of stuff you do sexually. My OH and I don't always use the " extras" sometimes we just feel like a quickie when the mood takes us. Obviously when you first start using toys, dressing up etc its all new and exciting but once that has worn off a bit it can be nice to just have them now and then because it becomes more of a treat and stays special.
I like being spanked or being tied up and blindfolded but I don't necessarily want that everytime, it can be nice to relax into a bit of vanilla occasionally:)