Too tight?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

This is a little embarrassing, but I wanted to ask and well, my efforts at googling were not so great.

So, I seem to have a bit of a hard time with vaginal penetration. Granted I'm still a virgin, but I've got a colourful drawer of toys I'm trying out, so I don't think that has much to do with this.

Sometimes, it really works for me, and it's painless and pleasurable. Other times, more often unfortunately, it's painful and frustrating so I just give up. I have this-

The Ammunition RO- 160mm Big Bang Bullet Vibrator

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22552

and-

the Jessica Slimline rabbit vibe

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15335

and I've been able to take them fine before. However it's only occasionally, most of the time even when I'm really looking forward to vaginal stimulation, it feels so uncomfortable I just give up and go for clitoral.

I recently bought the Ice scream waterproof multispeed vibrator-

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16364

and yesterday I finally worked myself up enough to try and use it for internal stimulation. I brought lube and gave myself a lot of time and used a vibrator on my clit as well but I just couldn't do it.

Thing is, I love vaginal penetration. The times that I've done it and where it's gone well, it's been fabulous and I've had some of the best orgasms that way. More often than that it just hurts too much, even when I use a small, normal bullet vibe. At the moment anal stimulation and penetration works more for me than vaginal does. Also, I don't like using my fingers because it just feels clunky and awkward and I can never get the right angle. :/

I'm all for exploring my body, and I'd really like to find a way to make this easier for me. I was just wondering if anyone else had a similar problem or any tips and techniques on how I could make this an easier, pleasurable experience. Any help would be great. :) Thanks! x

2

Hi hun

Its called Vaginismus if you google that there are explanations and solutions, good luck

3

Maybe talk to a doctor? Penetration shouldn't be uncomfortable. As I understand it, there are several causes but it's a fairly common condition and they should be able to point you in the right direction.

4

Thank you. :D I'll look into it. It's so frustrating sometimes, I'm all geared up for it and...nope, body's saying no. Think I'll have to work my way up, I have a habbit of jumping straight into the deep end. :/

5

Googled it. It's a little worrying but I think it sounds about right. I think I need to work my way up slow and steady. Thing is, I know I want it so I don't think it's me mentally tripping up over myself...

6

Madame Kiki wrote:

Thing is, I love vaginal penetration. The times that I've done it and where it's gone well, it's been fabulous and I've had some of the best orgasms that way. More often than that it just hurts too much, even when I use a small, normal bullet vibe. At the moment anal stimulation and penetration works more for me than vaginal does. Also, I don't like using my fingers because it just feels clunky and awkward and I can never get the right angle. :/

cant say i have personly experienced the problem you are asking about but as it isnt all the time it cant bee too serious, i imagin its something mental rather than physical so remember to try and not get too worked up about it not working and just focus on when it does. its great that you are open to anal.

what sort of hurt is it cos if its more the length than the girth that is causing i get that when my partner is being gready as my vagina hasnt had time to make room for deep penitration

i definatly recognise you problem (in bold) though. i think my arms must be too short and my fingers too stubby or something cos i can reach my clit no problem but reaching inside is almost imposible if im flat on my back and its just not that satisphying.

7

rag doll wrote:

Madame Kiki wrote:

Thing is, I love vaginal penetration. The times that I've done it and where it's gone well, it's been fabulous and I've had some of the best orgasms that way. More often than that it just hurts too much, even when I use a small, normal bullet vibe. At the moment anal stimulation and penetration works more for me than vaginal does. Also, I don't like using my fingers because it just feels clunky and awkward and I can never get the right angle. :/

cant say i have personly experienced the problem you are asking about but as it isnt all the time it cant bee too serious, i imagin its something mental rather than physical so remember to try and not get too worked up about it not working and just focus on when it does. its great that you are open to anal.

It can be serious though :).

I would advise you go to your doctor to try to get to the bottom of why you are experiencing pain - it's unusual but I suffer pain down there due to nerve damage. Nerve damage doesn't go away but you can prevent it worsening and you can try to desensitise the nerves. It's unlikely to be nerve damage in your case but this is just an example of something you want to keep on top of so I would definitely recommend you see a doctor about the cause of your pain. Penetration should be painful (though it can be for anyone if you dive straight into it without proper warm up) so if you're taking your time, building up slowly and still encountering pain I'd see your GP :).

Have a search for vaginismus and vulvodynia because there are some excellent threads on the topic and you'll get tips and tricks on how to make things a little more comfortable :)

Adx

8

Do the changes follow your menstrual cycle?

9

rag doll wrote:

Madame Kiki wrote:

Thing is, I love vaginal penetration. The times that I've done it and where it's gone well, it's been fabulous and I've had some of the best orgasms that way. More often than that it just hurts too much, even when I use a small, normal bullet vibe. At the moment anal stimulation and penetration works more for me than vaginal does. Also, I don't like using my fingers because it just feels clunky and awkward and I can never get the right angle. :/

cant say i have personly experienced the problem you are asking about but as it isnt all the time it cant bee too serious, i imagin its something mental rather than physical so remember to try and not get too worked up about it not working and just focus on when it does. its great that you are open to anal.

what sort of hurt is it cos if its more the length than the girth that is causing i get that when my partner is being gready as my vagina hasnt had time to make room for deep penitration

i definatly recognise you problem (in bold) though. i think my arms must be too short and my fingers too stubby or something cos i can reach my clit no problem but reaching inside is almost imposible if im flat on my back and its just not that satisphying.

It's not excruciatingly painful, but rather so uncomfortable, the whole session becomes completely unworth it. I don't know, it might possibly be a combination of them both. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it really doesn't. I'm not quite sure why, but maybe a little more exploration might help. :)

Oh my fingers do nothing for me. I can never get the right angle and it's just so awkward. :/

10

Alicia D'amore wrote:

rag doll wrote:

Madame Kiki wrote:

Thing is, I love vaginal penetration. The times that I've done it and where it's gone well, it's been fabulous and I've had some of the best orgasms that way. More often than that it just hurts too much, even when I use a small, normal bullet vibe. At the moment anal stimulation and penetration works more for me than vaginal does. Also, I don't like using my fingers because it just feels clunky and awkward and I can never get the right angle. :/

cant say i have personly experienced the problem you are asking about but as it isnt all the time it cant bee too serious, i imagin its something mental rather than physical so remember to try and not get too worked up about it not working and just focus on when it does. its great that you are open to anal.

It can be serious though :).

I would advise you go to your doctor to try to get to the bottom of why you are experiencing pain - it's unusual but I suffer pain down there due to nerve damage. Nerve damage doesn't go away but you can prevent it worsening and you can try to desensitise the nerves. It's unlikely to be nerve damage in your case but this is just an example of something you want to keep on top of so I would definitely recommend you see a doctor about the cause of your pain. Penetration should be painful (though it can be for anyone if you dive straight into it without proper warm up) so if you're taking your time, building up slowly and still encountering pain I'd see your GP :).

Have a search for vaginismus and vulvodynia because there are some excellent threads on the topic and you'll get tips and tricks on how to make things a little more comfortable :)

Adx

I might go and see my doctor actually. I never really paid much attention to it, I always thought sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. For the last couple of months though, and I don't know if it's me just being ignorant or a hypochondriac, but I found a lump inside, sort of in the way, so it makes penetration more difficult. The whole thing isn't really really painful, just extremely uncomfortable whenever I want to try and give it a go. I think I'll pay a visit to my GP and just have things checked in case. :)

11

rose hip wrote:

Do the changes follow your menstrual cycle?

No they're really erratic. About a week or two after my cycle I'm aching to give it a go and it just depends on what happens. I find that the closer I am to my period, the easier penetration is for me. I don't know if that's weird or not! ^^;

12

Madame Kiki wrote:

rose hip wrote:

Do the changes follow your menstrual cycle?

No they're really erratic. About a week or two after my cycle I'm aching to give it a go and it just depends on what happens. I find that the closer I am to my period, the easier penetration is for me. I don't know if that's weird or not! ^^;

Your period being erratic doesn't mean that the rest isn't accompanying changes in your hormone levels.

We're all different, there's not much that's truly 'weird'. Sometimes my body is very sensitive to time of the month, sometimes not. When it is, my sexual interest has strong peaks and troughs. (Sharp spikes just before ovulation and menstruation, some moderate days and a week of meh in between.) During those times, the size of toy I'm able to use varies, larger just before ovulation, smaller or external only after. There can be an observable difference in how loose/tight I am, at least to me.

Do you know how to recognize when you're about to ovulate? That might help you better understand what's going to work when.