Hi guys and gals. My best friend of 30 years revealed to me he is taking his first steps in becoming the woman he always felt he was. However he is a little nervous and has asked if anyone is willing to share their experiences to help prepare him for the coming months and years.
Tanks in advance.
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No advice from me Iām afraid, but congratulations to your friend on taking their first steps and I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible!
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Hi @Naomithea and welcome.
Cis bi guy speaking. Iām just wondering why your friend is asking through you? Do they feel too nervous to open an account on the forum themself - or is it just that they arenāt a Lovehoney customer and you are? Iām just saying this because they ought to know that theyād be perfectly safe and anonymous here. Nobodyās going to judge them. 
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ā¦and hey: if your āfriendā is really you - itās OK, yāknow, for the same reason.
Though the advice will be similar either way, so donāt feel like you have to respond to that. 
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Yes, @Naomithea - Iām sorry if I came on too inquisitive there - just trying to be reassuring, and possibly achieved the exact opposite effect. My bad.
As well as asking advice on here, if your friend hasnāt already done so they might want to check out where their nearest Trans support group is. Asking advice online is fine as far as it goes, but nothing beats being able to meet up, make real-life friends and share experiences. To that end, they might find this link useful:
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Heās not a lovehoney Customer and not great with computers either. Iāve passed the link on tho and Iāll try to help him use it. Thanks for the help.
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Would start by recommending that if theyāre taking the first steps to finally seeing themselves as a woman, youād probably want to start referring to them as she and not as he. Always difficult to get used to at first, especially after 30 years.
Not sure what advice I can offer given my partner is a trans man who transitioned as an early teenager rather than later in life. I donāt know how many experiences overlap there.
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@Naomithea - another useful link for your friend. They might want to join up at lgbtchat.net Itās a very welcoming forum with a good ethos - very much a āsafe spaceā - and has many, many trans members, including quite a lot of UK-based ones. I know this from personal experience.
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Oh my goodness thank you never thought of that.
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Well the first thing Iād like her to know is that there are many shades of trans and what I mean by that is everyones journey and transition is different. Medically and social it is different, For me personally iāve been on hormones for 2 years. Iāve seen a lot if changes in that time, a lot of good changes for the most part and iām on what is a relatively low dose. Iāve just taken too it you could say, my ex was also trans and on a higher dose but wasnāt have the same results. A friend was on 3x times the dose and was only just getting to the same place hormone level wise as me and seeing a lot of changes.
My point is results very a different places and times for different people so if you see a lot of this is where you should be at x amount of time donāt feel bad or think thats set in stone on the where. Socially again is different too, Iāve heard people who strictly want to wait till they are 100% passing before presenting. In my case I was presenting for almost a decade before seeking hormones, which can be nerve racking at first. Like for the first year of presenting I never went to the bathroom alone always had a female friend or even my mom go with me.
There is a lot I could talk about on this subject but to make it not even longer the last thing Iāll say is that surgery is not required for everyone. As I said everyones journey is different for some it is 100% a most for others itās not possible because of the cost and for a very slim few like my self we donāt want it. For me hormones is enough, I donāt need any surgeries on my face or chest(though I wish my boobs would stop growing my mom insists iām a f cup I say ddd either way back problems they can stop) and as for āthe surgeryā aka bottom surgery aka reassignment or confirmation surgery I again donāt need or want. Iām comfortable and happy with my body as is, so donāt feel pressured to follow a āpathā of what to do but do whats right for you.
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She has said she want reassignment surgery on her sexual organs but other than that sheāll just let the hormones do the rest. Sheās a little worried about facial hair. She saw a documentary where a someone had the change but still had to shave. I think tho by the end of the treatment itās highly unlikely. But it takes time. I think sheās very impatient for the change. She said sheās felt like this for a long time. Im trying to support her as best I can.
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Hormones donāt do a lot for facial hair, mine is minimal but I still have to shave every few days. Most trans women opt for hair remove treatments but not all do or feel the need. Where hormones do make the biggest difference with hair is body hair. Which hair removal treatments can be very pricey.
Even people born as a female have issues with facial hair. I have to epilate mine.
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