Hi my partner has recently given birth and we know from when she has had our other children that she loses her sex drive for quite awhile and this annoys her a bit. Wondered if anyone could give us some advice for toys or activities that can get the mojo back a bit quicker.
Hey jws, firstly congratulations both! Hope both baby and mum are doing well! As a mum of 4 I can understand the post baby issues that can arise, and have to also say she is a lucky woman to have you cos opening yourself up on here about something personal like this isn't always easy! And you obviously love her and you both want to change how she is feeling.
My OH was as supportive as you and whenever he got the chance he would tell me how beautiful I am or how proud of me he is, how much he admired me for carrying his babies and what my body and mind went through. He would tell me my body was sexy (I totally didn't agree) and that where I saw scars from c section and stretch marks he only saw the miracle of a woman's body having given birth! He would rub oil into my scars and stomach and bei g honest to start this was uncomfortable for me but only because I was insecure but I allowed him to do it and it actually helped me feel more confident in myself and in turn led to sex.
I think after having a baby putting the physical aspects to the side, for a woman the new baby, by nature, consumes most of our body and mind, a baby's cry physically and mentally calls to a mum in a way men unfortunately can't undertand, this in no way is to take away from the role and importance of a dad but unless your body reacts by leaking milk from your nipples at the cry of a baby....... you get my point lol
You could try relaxing her with rubbing her shoulders, feet, legs any part of her that you know she enjoys, spend time talking to her, talk about sex, tell her how much her having your baby makes you feel, how much you love her, appreciate what her body and mind has gone through. Equally if your Oh is frustrated that he sex drive drops out discuss it and maybe ask that you both make an effort to have sex x amount of times a week that is acceptable to you both, maybe she needs you to be the instigator and take control and although she may not feel like having sex once you start to touch and love her her body will respond and her mind will follow suit!
Not sure if any of this will help you both, I hope it will and am open to any questions at all!
Lilmiss x
Congratulations aw a new baby xx
It's a long time since I had a baby but I remember the docs/nurses saying to wait until the baby is six weeks old or after the six weeks check (I don't know if they still do this?). I did feel that was about right for me until the sexy hormones came back.
It must be really tough for the guys, now I think about it but it won't be long before she's feeling back to her usual self. Let her guide you for the time being as she could be feeling tender down there too and has mummy brain for now but it will get better.
Many happy returns on your addition to the family.Aren't babies just delightful.!!
Like LRK it's mainy years since I had babies but I remember so well how motherhood took over my life.Losing my libido as a result was very frustrating and required a lot of patience.Having to be cut at the very final stages of one of the births meant a longer healing process which made things worse.However although intercourse was out of the question for a time other intimacies kept us going and saved the day.Advice so far from other members is so true.Maintaining physical intimacy is crucial and will help libido return sooner rather than later.It can be very reassuring and fun and should not to be underestimated.I wish you well for the future.
Hi jws congrats on your new addition to the family!
I don't think there is anytime you can do to get your wife's mojo back quicker but I think lilmisshottie has hit the nail on the head especially if your wife is breastfeeding it can take time for hormones to adjust etc.
I would suggest buying a nice massager and some oils to keep the connection there it will really mean a lot, I loved this with my husband when I had my children especially as parenting can be so stressful in the early days with a newborn.
I can recommend these:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32081
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27150
Enjoy 😊
Thanks everyone for the advice and nice messages