For me it was about 10 years, then I took the plunge and decided to make them a reality. Feels so good to actually begin fulfilling them!
lickmadick wrote:
k&dbdsm wrote:
lickmadick wrote:
probally not going to happen but you never know
1 a 3some with another woman
2 anight and a day in a dungeon being forced ,whipped and dominatrix type sex
3 an orgy wth all types of fetishes
4 seeing my oh totally abused by another woman
allways wanted but can't see it happening so keep fanatsizing on mmmmmm
Wow they are so close to mine, id rather see D being abused by other men though, other than that spot on!
two perverted minds think alike ha ha
OH could have written this (lol) although I think he wants to see another guy make me react the way he does....
totally agree though if you don't bring it up, then the opportunity for it to happen may never arise! :D
Personally, I think I have fulfilled most of mine, although I have new ones all the time :D
Been with wife for 9 years and want more anal play (both ways) but she is really not into it.
With you on that one Rugbyman. Very occasional bit touching going on but odd time have had a bit finger penetration has been on the go so no lube. I know damn well if I stopped a said ' hang on I'll make this more comfy' it would be admitting what was happening , bugger up the moment and that would be the end of that.
I try to put it in perspective that whilst it's pretty common it's not a very common sexual pastime on the whole. At the end of the day she doesn't want to then that's it. I gave my last glimmer of hope when I asked her to a least read the Tracey Cox leaflet that came with the slim butt plug. I doubt it'll ever get read.
I meant common amongst those on the forum. I mean this with no disregard but a lot of jealousy at you liberal minded experimental folks!
BigPoppa wrote:
With you on that one Rugbyman. Very occasional bit touching going on but odd time have had a bit finger penetration has been on the go so no lube. I know damn well if I stopped a said ' hang on I'll make this more comfy' it would be admitting what was happening , bugger up the moment and that would be the end of that.
I try to put it in perspective that whilst it's pretty common it's not a very common sexual pastime on the whole. At the end of the day she doesn't want to then that's it. I gave my last glimmer of hope when I asked her to a least read the Tracey Cox leaflet that came with the slim butt plug. I doubt it'll ever get read.
BP if your lady is quite wet, try using saliva to add extra lubrication, not quite as good as the real thing but we have used to plenty of times when it has been more of a spare of the moment thing and it does the job just fine. Thats if you can get her to be a little more comfy with the idea and relaxed enough to let you do it.
Agreed if she is not into it then that is fine and i can live with it. She is worth it after all but you never know she may change her mind one day.
I've just got myself too frustrated in this area now. I think I've done all I can to gently encourage it from subtle to bloody obvious and she's having none of it.
I love to experiment and try new stuff and she's always been happy as we are. Whenever I suggest things I usually get met with raised eyebrows. Sometimes she'll try stuff and others she won't at all but it always feels like an uphill battle.
She always says ' I'm happy just the two of us naked ' and it's almost impossible to say and not entirely true to tell her sometimes I feel the opposite. If she came home and said ' I'm gonna tie you up and spank you and stick a dildo up your arse' I'd be gobsmacked and very horny. Not because I want to do these things but because she suggested it and it was different from the norm. I'd bloody do it as well. I'll try pretty much anything once but my wife just rejects things immediately,
Sorry I've hijacked this thread. I feel I try so hard to keep our sex life young and vibrant and fun but it seems like most things it's just bloody hard work and me doing it all the time. Sorry but I think that needed to come out.
To put the above in context we've been sleeping together for 15 years now
BP, you could be reading my mind! But we're starting to change things slowly...
Can I ask, does BigMomma like you to be "in charge" or just to do the work? If you direct, rather than suggest, does she go along with things?
Lovin the new avatar Mr Monster!
She says she likes me taking charge but she is soo controlling otherwise that I almost don't kinda believe her. Certaintly sexually is the only arena I'm in charge. I bought us Monogomy with a view to some light hearted fun and experimenting. It was a great night but again I feel if I don't bring it up it'll never get used again.
I'm hoping we get to try a little light Bdsm type stuff and see if that awakens anything!
You seem to suggest you're starting to get a little more anal play than ever before. How did you achieve this?
Lube, lube and more lube!
Seriously, it's something Mrs M has been interested in, but we were having trouble making it work and getting her in the right mood. Lots and lots of loving attention to that area, toys and getting her really turned on are the only things I can suggest. Mrs M's attitude is great as well, where anal is concerned. She finds it uncomfortable to do for too long, and can come quite quickly with help, but is determined one day to make it last long enough for me to orgasm that way too. Obviously at the moment I have to be so gentle (good though it is) that I'm not getting anywhere near the rhythm I need to climax.
(The frustrating thing for us has been that she says she doesn't really need toys or special types of play in general, just us and a bed. Yet the bulk of our Lh orders have been with her in mind.)
I still have a wish list of things I'd like her to do with me (more than things to do with her!) but I've found that stepping forward and taking a little bit of the initiative (especially when she is the more "dominant" one everywhere else in our life) has worked wonders. A little planning and a dollop of confidence, and we've had some really enjoyable sessions the past couple of weeks. It's almost like we needed the excuse of a "special" occasion to allow me to make a fool of myself by going "too far" in taking charge. Well, we got there, and it turns out that it wasn't too far after all. It's like a roller coaster - you need that push of confidence to get you over the top, but the rest of the ride just flows from that initial drop. But if you don't make the drop, scary as it seems, you don't ever reach the fun part of the ride. And next time round you're starting to look forward to the drop as well...
Oh, and after a few good sessions, she keeps saying that she'll have to "make it up to me" which can only be a good thing! She appreciates the effort I put in, and having the focus on her.
Something to think about - when asked, professional Dommes tend to indentify most of their clients as high-achieving, driven, successful alpha-type men. People who, in every aspect of their lives, are in charge. They make the decisions.The buck stops with them. People like that often find it intensely relaxing and enjoyable to cede control of a particular aspect of their life to someone they trust. When the whole exercise becomes about their pleasure as well as lack of control, that's a heady mix. Maybe BigMomma would look at you differently if you took responsibility for both of your sexual pleasure? Obviously, don't push her beyond her comfort levels, but being firm and sure of yourself is a great place to start. Being sure of her responses is good too - confidently telling her to do something that you know she will then do conditions her to follow your instructions, so when you do eventually tell her to try new things she should hopefully trust you enough to do them without questioning (much!). Hella wrote a great piece on just this subject -
Mr Monster wrote:
Something to think about - when asked, professional Dommes tend to indentify most of their clients as high-achieving, driven, successful alpha-type men. People who, in every aspect of their lives, are in charge. They make the decisions.The buck stops with them. People like that often find it intensely relaxing and enjoyable to cede control of a particular aspect of their life to someone they trust. When the whole exercise becomes about their pleasure as well as lack of control, that's a heady mix. Maybe BigMomma would look at you differently if you took responsibility for both of your sexual pleasure? Obviously, don't push her beyond her comfort levels, but being firm and sure of yourself is a great place to start. Being sure of her responses is good too - confidently telling her to do something that you know she will then do conditions her to follow your instructions, so when you do eventually tell her to try new things she should hopefully trust you enough to do them without questioning (much!). Hella wrote a great piece on just this subject -
This seems like great advice External Media
Actually, thats a great link MrMr! I'm hoping to be able to make use of it soon
Rugbyman wrote:
Been with wife for 9 years and want more anal play (both ways) but she is really not into it.
I can understand that, ive never been totally cool with anal
Mistress D wrote:
Rugbyman wrote:
Been with wife for 9 years and want more anal play (both ways) but she is really not into it.
I can understand that, ive never been totally cool with anal
a lot of people aren't, I know guys who aren't into it... its all preference really. It was actually me who suggested it to the OH, i did pretend he had to be very careful and gentle for a few months before I let him realise how dirty I can actually get! (hee hee)
I've never tried anal, and I'm not sure I can see all the benefits. Sure, there is the "brain" factor of thinking you are doing something a little kinky etc, but I alway thought a vagina was designed to be a pretty good vessel for a penis to go into.
For me, there's only one thing I wish I'd done and only really two things I'd like to do.
I am now a happily married woman, have been for 7 years. But, there was a girl I used to be good friends with. She was beautiful and the only girl that I've ever really felt I could 'be' with. There was a time at Uni when we were getting changed and we were both in our knickers and bra's, she looked so hot. I knew she had a boyfriend, but I felt like things were going somewhere. I had a good-for-nothing boyfriend, but I knew she loved her's. And stupidly/sensibly, I said "we shouldn't be doing this" and it never wenr any further. Damn, I kick myself for that and my Hubs and I talk about this loads and fantasise about what would've happened. Though I've made out with a few girls before, this girl was the only one who totally turned me on!
So, that's the fantasy that almost was...
And then my other two, I've kind of mentioned briefly elsewhere, but I'd love to fuck Hubs with a strap on, and also there's a violent act I want to re-inact, but as Hubs isn't comfortable with this, it's not right to do it.
Rugbyman - How much anal play do you indulge in yourself? The only reason I ask is that our anal-issues are the other way round - I love it and want it, but my Husband doesn't (not quite yet!). However, he's seen me/know's about me playing with bigger and bigger toys and has become curious and started to investigate that area slowly. It's taken about 4-5 years since broaching the subject, but he has finally gotten there. I gave him oral last week and he suggested to try a mini anal vibrator on himself - he gradually inserted this as he relaxed into oral and afterwards said it made a difference and that he enjoyed it - this all came from me doing it so much that he finally got curious, which is pretty good going considering it was a real no-no. In saying that, only you really know if you can push the issue any further, but showing her how much enjoyment a person can get from it is different to telling her what you want.
MrsPx
Jumping back to fantasies, I like to keep one or two unfulfilled - things tend to be hotter in my head than in reality, and the let down is always a little disappointing :P
Other than that, and linking into where this thread is going, the longest I've ever waited is just over a year - which is how long it took me to talk my last girlfriend into pegging me. And echoing what other people are saying about introducing new ideas/getting people to go for them - confidence is key. If you're unsure, you immediately send out signals that there's something to be nervous of, so it's harder to introduce it.
(On the other hand, if the answer is a resounding "No, no way, not ever.", you're probably out of luck on that one :P)
Im like every other male out there (well most) and I would love a threesome.
The only chance I have had of doing it would have meant cheating on my wife, so that was out of the question.
I know it does not float the OH's boat and thats cool, to be honest I would probably end up being a spare part anyway:-)