Using male sex toys with your female partner

Often see threads and articles about "how to introduce your vibrator to your relationship" - generally covering men's morbid fears of being made redundant. heh.

But how about the other way round? Have any guys introduced a Fleshlight or other wank toy to their female partner?

Can be a lot of fun when she uses it on him. :-)

We decided to buy a fleshlight a while back, Mrs K has a drawer full of toys and I felt a little left out!

We picked one together and after the initial giggling and curiuos touching, I have to say it is a most welcome addition to Mrs K drawer. We tend to play with it when we both fancy a quick play and watch each other, but sometimes use the fleshlight during sex which from my point of view (Mr R) is truly amazing. As close to a threesome as we're ever going to get.

I highly recommend couple thinking about a male sex toy to go for it and have fun!

Ps Don't forget some decent Lube

I would be delighted if I was with a guy and he intorduced me to his toys!! I'm always looking for new and interesting ways to please a partner... and I think "helping" him use his Fleshlight would bring a whole new dimension to the toy.

I agree shelly, I'd be delighted to help a man play with his toys!

I'd love it. But I get the picture (not in so many words, just from his actions) that the bloke doesn't even really like cock rings, never mind fleshlights. And I'd love to have sex when we both had butt plugs in... *Sigh- and off into dream world...*

Oh enjoy the fantasy crayola, sounds good to me!

i personally wouldnt want a fleshlight. mrs palm is good enough. i do love my jelly cock ring though, add a bullet and its win win for everyone.

im happy just watching mrsdoctorp play with her toys, love helping her with them, and love it when she goes solo.

doctorp wrote:

i personally wouldnt want a fleshlight. mrs palm is good enough. i do love my jelly cock ring though, add a bullet and its win win for everyone.

im happy just watching mrsdoctorp play with her toys, love helping her with them, and love it when she goes solo.

this, of course, was before we tried our new cyberskin penis extension that he chose. It was fantastic for both of us and will defnitely be an obsession for the next few weeks! :D

crayola wrote:

I'd love it. But I get the picture (not in so many words, just from his actions) that the bloke doesn't even really like cock rings, never mind fleshlights. And I'd love to have sex when we both had butt plugs in... *Sigh- and off into dream world...*

I definitely want to try that too, it'd add a whole other sensation which I can only imagine would be great!

We've used male sex toys together, it does just add something to the times when we want to play with toys - rather like mine do :)

when we thought about getting a toy for me it raised a few questions and giggles,IE molded on a actual pussy like the fleshgirls but as most dildo's are copy of a penis that that ended that question very quickly .

i think if you allow toys into the bedroom they should be for the both of you not just for one person,with the advent of fleshlights/fleshgirls etc the toys for men will not be limited to just butt plugs and probes.

I've got a couple of fleshlights now and i think the wife enjoys using on me more than i do judging by the grin she gets when i cum in them .

.all i need now are some butt plugs and i will be on my way to catching up with her toy box[long way to go to beat that but i will try].

mr bjsp

My hubby has never wanted a fleshlight of anything like it - he loves my hands more than anything really... but when we had the cyberflicker - and now even better for it the bang bang bunny (fantastic toy!!!) I use this on him and holding it just below his banjo sting with the flicky ears on his tip and then rubbing my other hand well lubed on the other side with his glans is guarenteed to leave handprints in the headboard (which is wrought iron ) If I manage that task with just one hand depending on my pain level (tendonitus) I dig my other hands fingernails gentle but firm under his balls.

So as much as I'd enjoy playing with his sex toys with him he enjoys me playing with my own on him - and he hates anal toys used on him so we're a bit limited! Cock rings also do little for him though some of the vibrating ones have some effect. Oh and that vibra exciter is fantastic! I enjoyed that on him even more than having a female remote contol toy!

My partner never had the problem of worringing about introducing a vibrator into our play - a valentines gift from me took care of that ;-)

As for introducing the male counterpart to the vibe I got around that little conundrum by means of a little christmas challenge last year.

On the run up to christmas I presented Miss A with Santa's Saucy Challenge which directed her to browse Lovehoney and purchase 3 gifts totalling no more than £30 - one each to cover the following categories:

  • a gift for you
  • a gift for me
  • a surprise for us both

I was to take the same challenge and then all the presents were wrapped and put under the tree ready to warm us on a cold winters day!

Keeping on topic - yes I have introduced a wank toy to my female partner - the gift I brought for me was the discontinued Pleasure Grip - a male masturbator that Miss A (we both) love to use with my surprise gift - a bondage kit - when I'm tied down she loves to keep me on the edge with the grip, gliding it agonisingly slowly up and down and licking the head of my penis as it pokes out the end.

I devised the challenge as a means to giving her (and me) the opportunity to reveal a fantasy in a subtle way through the gift selection (hence the bondage kit ).

I still have the artwork I created for the card somewhere - if anyone would like a copy let me know and I'll put it online.

Hm, well I've introduced my partner to male sex toys and he loves it. I've bought him fleshlights (can) and a cheap sleeve to see if he'll enjoy it. And he did.. lol. I have sent him the clear Head Honcho and the pink TC sleeve for christmas but the new TC sleeve looks really interesting too. I think he prefers the cheap thrills rather than the fleshlights as it seems less intense for him.

We're long distance atm but he loves the variance that the sex toys bring although he'd go back to using his hand as he misses it for solo play =P.

He loves using toys on me but we've not yet used them on him but I know this will be on the agenda next time. I think it'll be exciting and very enjoyable for both of us. I love seeing and hearing him enjoy himself. lol, slightly pervish. >.<


Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

I would love to introduce my man to a male masturbator so I could use it on him to spice up an otherwise boring hand job but I simply have no idea how to go around it!

My man doesn't like my sex toys and he thinks me using beads on him (as in wrapping beads around his length to use as a stroker) is very odd! I don't think he would mind a Tenga Egg or some other stroker so much if I use it on him as much as my own sex toys bother him, but I'm not sure..

I would talk to him about it but I honestly don't know how to drop it in to a discussion!

The other problem is there are LOADS of male sleeves and strokers on this site and quite a few low budget ones too, but I often find the cheaper ones don't get very good reviews and every man is different in size, so one stroker would work great for one man but another would find it like putting his penis in to an electric pencil sharpner!

I dunno... Any advice?

I found it easier as my partner is very open but it was slightly erm.. embarassing to bring it up. I was actually quite conservative about this type of topic. =P

We'd talk about me first and then I mentioned how I feel like it's a bit unfair how I get to experience other stimulants and it's just his hand for him for solo play etc. The issue we had was that we're in long distance now but I guess that helps with our communication and how we're upfront we are.

I bought my OH a cheap sleeve at first and he loved the tightness of it (it fell apart after a few uses though). However some guys find this somewhat uncomfortable. If you think you're partner is quite erm big then maybe you should avoid the cheap tighter alternatives. My partner hasn't recieved the Head Honcho or the pink TC sleeve yet but those 2 are the most popular and a firm favourite. You may want to experience with one or both and use them on him when he gets in the mood... This can be during a hand job or even oral.

Good luck. =]

Simply avoid the cheap sleeves. Have a feel of them and they feel nothing like skin, they're often extremely texturred, short, tight and have a hole in the end which isn't always a good thing! Heat up a new fleshlight, add some lube and then slide in a few fingers and the two things become worlds apart!

Does your man like Porn? If so there's a fair chance that a star that he likes will have a fleshlight and I can't see that being anything other than very sexy and tempting? Especially if you team it up with a matching DVD.

Clear toys (i.e. the ice range of Fleshlights) allow a good view for couples. Let him know how much you'd enjoy watching him using the toy or seeing him inside it!

Do you talk to your partner about other things sex related (fantasies etc.?) if so then handle this in exactly the same way..

and if all the above fails pick your nicest lingerie buy it anyway, apply puppy dog eyes and say please. I don't think I've ever managed to turn down a woman in lingerie.

Hi Hella,

When I brought up the subject of toys for me (I specifically wanted anal toys to begin with because Hubs wasn't into anal, but we chose a selection inc a rabbit, beads, plugs etc), Hubs was not interested in getting anything for himself as he was more than happy to watch/assist me.

We talked some more about it and the response was generally along the lines of 'I wouldn't know what to try' so I decided to make up a gift bag of a few different strokers and some different lubes to try. Amoungst the items in there was some tingle lube, regular lube, a Tenga Egg, a stroker and Deep Throat Cup. I left the bag for him in the bedroom and after he discovered it and had had a good look at everything in private, he called my upstairs to try out the one he'd chosen first.

He doesn't look on LH that much, so I generally keep an eye out for him and let him know if I see something I think he'd like and then we look together. I saw the Succu Dry Fleshlight and knowing he had been enjoying some vampire books, I suggested it (also because it was cheaper than the main Fleshlight) and he bought it, along with some cock rings.

Generally he needs prompting to look at an item, but it really up for it when it arrives. I think at first he was embarrassed about owning toys, but now he loves them.

Whilst I do love giving him head or a hand job, the toys seem to do things I can't manage (grooves, bumps etc) and we use them as an 'As Well As' rather than a replacement for physical contact.

Above all, we think they're great fun and I'm just pleased to know he's enjoying himself. I love sharing the experience of trying out a new toy, though equally I am more than happy for him to have some 'alone time' even when I am here, I think it's good for him to explore solo.

The main thing I would advise is to share the experience of choosing toys if possible or make up a goody bag with a selection of toys and lube to try as not all toys are for everyone.


Oh, and make it light hearted! It's all about having fun... And if lube and a new toy are waiting on the bedside unit, one day curiosity may just get the better of him!

I introduced the Mr to male sex toys really early on in our relationship. It all started when he was really curious about my collection and i used a couple of little bullet vibes on him, which he enjoyed. A LOT.

So from there i bought the original TC stroker and an onacup, he was dubious at first (and we had a few giggles!) but it added a little injection of spice into the bedroom. Plus as we're long distance it helped bring a new dimension to our relationship in a way, even just the matter of choosing which toys to use solo while we were apart from each other.

6 months later and his little collection will soon be rivalling my stash.

sxe_couple21 wrote:

Simply avoid the cheap sleeves.

SOOOOO this!

Great thing for couples to do... Some oral loving on the testicles while using them, yum!

Or using one while giving, very enjoyable.