Just curious how many people on here got themselves their own toys first and if many people were introduced to them by their partners?
Have just made my OH aware of them with recent purchase and went ok. Listened and looked at them. Didn't flat out refuse although bad initial reaction to the dildo but calmed down after I explained what people had said on here. Showed her the catalogue. We did have two vibrators many years ago but one was so crappy threw it out and the other just sits in its box in bedroom. Hardly ever have sex in bedroom these days so no chance it'll get used.
She said it was a boomerrang present ( ie was her for me really was for me ) which is true in some ways but tried pointing out I want to see her come lots and that she could have lots of fun with these and that is exactly why I bought them , for us to have fun
gave her nice massage with the tracy cox supersex massager ( thanks to those who said in review that great as a normal massager ) and this seemed to press the right button and we had great oral sex. The toys never got used.
I know her well enough that I can't make her use them and respect her such that I wouldn't force it but how do you make the gentle nudge to give it a go. What I mean is although she isn't refusing to use them I wonder if I say nothing that they will just sit in their boxes and never get used. If I bring it up might be accused of pushing too much.
Thoughts about this and your experiences would be great thanks.
i got my own. my sex toy obsession started after stumbling accross lovehoney just after i separated from my doughters ex. i bought an RO-80mm and became obsessed from there!! x
I first introduced toys - by tying OH's hands to the bed & having him watch me pleasure myself with a couple of vibes - one inside & a lipstick sized one on my sweet nub. Was amazing for us both & I'm thinking of doing something similar for Valentine's Day with a few other toys - like a vibrating cock ring. He grabbed one of my toys the other day & rubbed it on himself, much to my surprise & delight!
We talk about sex a lot more now than we've ever done & we're having sex a lot more often - from once or twice a week to once or twice a day! Not bad for grandparents!!!!
But only you know your OH & confidence grows with openess. You don't say how old you both are & how exprerienced. Also, your OH may be shy or enjoy the way you do it now & not want it to change, not even to make it more fun - which would be a shame as sex is meant to be fun as well as seriously pleasurable - well, I take my pleasure very seriously! Keep talking & encourage her to feel she's a sexy woman as she is!
Hopefully, others will have some ideas and thoughts for you too, and let us know how you get on
Hard to remember, but I think my partner bought me a rabbit. I loved it and now have many toys.
Just be patient, it will not stay in the box 100% of the time. It will be used when you are out and she has some time to herself. I always love to try my toys out alone before introducing them into foreplay.
I know it was my fella who introduced them to me and bought my first one for me but for the life of me I can't remember when or why - they have been apart of our sex life for about as long as we have been having sex!
SCCs idea is a good one, maybe you could suggest her familiarise herself with them alone so that she doesn't feel embarrased (never could spell that word!) by them!
I've always thought it's good to introduce toys actually during sex to save a person feeling awkward about talking about them but I suppose that could be a turn off if your OH is worried.
Talking to her is probably your best bet, try and gauge if she would be ok using them if you took a little control so she didn't feel silly at all.
SnowyOwl - I guess we are in the scheme of things newbies to sex as both of us are in early thirties. 2 kids now I've just had a vasectomy which I think has triggered a big ' LETS PARTY!' in my mind. I don't know if I'm totally safe yet as have weeks to wait before confirmed but in a way thought using toys might be good fun to introduce whilst awaiting this. We are keeping very much to oral sex to keep safe you see.
You hit the nail on the head about her enjoying it very much as it is. So do I but there is so much more we can try and explained just want to have fun together experimenting. We used to have sex almost everyday in first few years of relationship and obviously this took a major hit after kids.
Sexycornishcouple - thanks. Most of it is still in its packaging so I'll know when she has given it a go.
She is such a dirty girl really and I just want to help her hold her head up and be that person sexually if you know what I mean
She is such a dirty girl really and I just want to help her hold her head up and be that person sexually if you know what I mean
Thanks to both of you for the welcome
That's like me! I was shy sexually and my fella helped me to open up and experiment more :). Gave me sexual confidence! Just gentle coaxing helped me, and conversations about things - talking on the phone helped too (we were long distance) so I could hide my face if I was embarrased by anything!
Actually I have to allow this to go offtopic for a second to mention just HOW distracting AdnaW's profile pic is?! O.M.G. *composes self*
Anyway, yeah, I already owned a hell of a lot of toys before I got together with my mr but he's done nothing but encourage this! Ive known exes who were less convinced... then again ive had exes who wouldnt fulfill my desire of being taken anally... *sigh*
Actually I have to allow this to go offtopic for a second to mention just HOW distracting AdnaW's profile pic is?! O.M.G. *composes self*
Anyway, yeah, I already owned a hell of a lot of toys before I got together with my mr but he's done nothing but encourage this! Ive known exes who were less convinced... then again ive had exes who wouldnt fulfill my desire of being taken anally... *sigh*
I'd be jumping for joy if I suddenly found she had a large toy collection!
Find it difficult to understand why a man wouldn't be aroused at his OH having her own sex toys and playing with herself when he's not around.
Is it a sort of envy or pride thing?
Its an old fashioned way of his. And I understand that way of his. Its just that he feels its a womans 'private' stuff that should be hidden away, like tampons and razors and hair lightening cream etc. He doesn't find it offensive really, just something that a woman should keep to herself. Its a way of keeping lady-like. Even though I proudly announce to him when I am on my period, or ask for praise on my ability to shave my legs, I wouldn't walk in the room showing him the tampons and asking him to dispose of my used razors! lol! Its the same thing with sex toys really. Its just the way it is with us.
Interesting, so its part of staying lady like for him. I've always been happy for OH to keep her maintenance and hygiene stuff to herself but love to have involvement in anything sexually related. Even shaved her pussy once!
Moi. And he was well up for it. His first meeting came with my Jessica rabbit. The bullets work best with the two of us though. Now lover boy is starting to invest in my naughty draw with an El Toro ring on the way.
It was me who has been introducing toys to my boyfriend. I had quite a few when I met him. He is slowly getting used to them as long as they don't vibrate! In his bedside cabinate he now has a couple of floggers and a bondage set and he rather likes my new glass dildos!
I suppose it was me. I had an old vibrator and I got him to use it without the vibe like a dildo but it just felt cold and didn't do anything so it was just the once. Then I ordered from LH the Lady Lust Finger vibe, which I have used on my own occasionally and I think we might have messed around with it together once. I got a free Finger Vibe with it and we only used that the other day. I used it on his nipples and balls and he held it on me. I also used it on my own. Then we got some Maximus lube as we started to tentatively explore anal. I wondered about trying a glass dildo as i don't really like vibes. I had a Rabbit several years ago and it didn't really do much for me. We're thinking of buying some bondage tape too for a play around with. TBH though, I'm not actually that into sex toys. I feel like I probably shouldn't disclose that here! But I much prefer sex without things like that. I don't see the point of using them if you're with someone! Fingers, tongues and cocks feel much better than anything plastic! So, we may try things - usually at my suggestion - but you can't beat the real thing ;-)
With me, it was kind of a mutual thing between me and the OH. I'd had a general interest in owning a toy before but never to the extent where I'd looked them up or considered buying one. Once me and the OH got our sex life rolling together, it moved pretty quickly, and a little while later we were discussing new things we could try. He said he couldnt really think of anything that wouldnt require extra 'equipment'. I asked if he meant toys and said yes so I agreed to pick a vibrator and buy one, and LoveHoney has been a regular drain on my bank account ever since :P