Hi all, I know it’s very ot for a sexy forum but does anyone have any ideas for dealing with stroppy kids.
Our daughter is driving us insane. She’s really clever (too clever she’s on g&t at school) always been a thoughtful considerate etc. Anyway over the last year she has progressively got worse and worse. Her attitude stinks, she rolls her eyes, threatens to call childline every time we tell her off. Screams at her brother (although to be fair he (aged 6) winds her up constantly as does she to him. I can’t cope much longer with all the arguing and shouting in the house. I’m struggling with my daughter attitude she is so rude and treats us like something she has trodden in.
I know she is starting to get hormones and I’m trying to be mindful of that, but I don’t know how much longer I can deal with it
Anyone been through it? Got any advice?
Hey F&F,
I have been through this twice already and will go through it again in a few years time.
To start with i would like to add it is not a reflection on your parenting skills at all, it seems to be a right of passage for all kids to go through the "asshole" phase.
It is however incredibly difficult to give you a proper solution as all kids are different and different techniques work with different kids.
With our eldest her crutch was us with holding the luxeries she had in life and she had to earn them through good behaviour. We tried reward charts and everything but they had no effect as after two days the excitement was gone.
For the middle girl, she has autism so again our techniques may not help. One of her main triggers for rudeness was gaming on her XBox or IPad. After a period of playing on them she would become dis-associated with everyone around her so when she was asked to do things it was as if we asked her to cut her arm off. So, limited time on social media/gaming and electronics have certainly helped in bringing her closer into the family. Another thing we do is to make sure we praise her for everything good that she does. It's so easy to pick up on the things she does that are negative but we often forget to praise them for the little things they do like putting their plate in the kitchen.
Our youngest, he has a habit of trying to hurt himself when he is being told off. After some google research i found out that it was his way of changing the situation from being told off and to instead get sympathy. So we just ignored it... he was never going to hurt himself to much so letting him know that he can carry on but it won't change things made him realise that he was hurting himself and he was getting nothing for it. He is only young but if he wants something nice like a magazine or small toy we make him work for it, doing little jobs like putting away his toys, putting away the dishes. It seems to be working so far.
Kids with siblings especially the eldest often feel a but pushed out because the younger child often has more needs and they are also looked upon as the one that should know better. Truth is though they haven't fully developed mentally and we often expect too much from them. Try having a mummy and daughter day and leave the boys behind, it will bring you both closer together and you can have a talk about her behaviour whilst doing something fun.
Thanks k&c yeah we’re doing the withholding luxuries etc she is a technology ‘addict’ loves laptop time and her iPod etc. hates it when we take it off her to the point of screaming horrendously at dad the other week. We do try to ignore the bad and reinforce the good and I know I defiantly expect too much from her & son in terms of behavior. We are having a Mum and daughter day on Saturday. I’m beaver leader and we have a trip on Saturday but it’s all outdoor activities. I can do some of them cause of my mobility issues so hubby is taking my place so he and son are out all day. We will have The Whole day from 7am-8pm without the boys so going to take her out for dinner etc fingers crossed we will make some headway xx
Thank you for replying- I keep saying I’m not looking forward to the teen years but gosh didn’t realise it was going. To start so soon!!!!!
F&F, my children are the same age and my eldest drives me crazy! I love her dearly but her attitude is horrid. She's mean to the little one and has no respect for me or her dad. It's like you think temper tantrums are over but here it comes again but worse.
Sometimes I think she just wants a little attention. If I let the little one spend time with her dad I take the eldest to a cafe. We have something to eat and spend a few hours together. She behaves when she knows our day is coming. If I have to tell her off too often we don't do it.
If there are days where I really struggle I will go to my mums. My mum will quite happily tell her off with the "speak to your mum nicer, she's my baby" that works.
It's not easy I know but it's not forever. Soon there's the teenage years 😱 you're not alone with this my dear!
Just the two of us - big love to you hope you get some support with your youngest. Sharing a room must be hard. Little one sneaks into his sisters room if she is in s nice mood she lets him sleep in her bed and will read to him (or ‘put up with him reading to her). If she isn’t in the mood (which I understand) she screeches for us or screams get out of my room!
Roses cheeks -thanks hun, it’s so difficult isn’t it. She flirts from wanting to spend alone time with me or to with her dad. - we’ve just started a new idea which I read a while ago. On the date of their birthday so my kids are 11th and 18th they get to stay up for a short while after the other has gone to bed. So they get some alone time with us both. It didn’t work great tonight as youngest should of had his but he was being naughty so dad sent him to bed.
Least we’re all in the tweenies (apparently that’s 8-12 yr olds) years together.
The tweenies suck 😂 honestly. Being a parent, I've discovered, is making so many mistakes and pretending you know what you're doing. The secret is no one knows. My mum tells me that if you say it with confidence they will believe you. That is why I thought I was an alien for the first few years of my life 😱