Virgin Using Dildo help

Hi All,

I'm 21 and a virgin and have recently purchased this - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30945

I went to use it today but eveything feels 'too tight' down there. I could only get it about 1-2 inches in. Obviously its to do with me being a virgin but has anyone got any tips? I was warmed up so to speak but still it was too difficult :/

Feel so stupid but if anyone has any tips, please let me know!

Ellie x

Hello :)

Were you using lubricant?x

Yes I was x

Ellie don't ever feel stupid. I don't know how you guys do that copy and paste thing here, never works for me. But maybe you need to try something like a lady finger to begin with. Your dill looks like something a more experienced person would use!

It's probably because at this stage being a virgin you need something smoother to start with.

You're going to get lots of hits on this thread with more advice on the products here. Some lube might helps things down there too, even though we sometimes feel like the engine is ready, it needs some lubrication to helps things get moving!

Unknowing to you, you may have been feeling a little tense too down there, our muscles tighten up on us without knowing sometimes. x

Ozz press quote this post above the response you want to reply to :)

In that case I'd recommend a softer material to start with and something that is slimline just to get used to something being there! or you could try combining clitoral vibrations whilst inserting to see if that makes you feel more relaxed x

Embrace wrote:

Hi All,

I'm 21 and a virgin and have recently purchased this - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30945

I went to use it today but eveything feels 'too tight' down there. I could only get it about 1-2 inches in. Obviously its to do with me being a virgin but has anyone got any tips? I was warmed up so to speak but still it was too difficult :/

Feel so stupid but if anyone has any tips, please let me know!

Ellie x

Hey Embrace

Firstly - don't feel silly! This is new to all of us at the beginning - and some people never discover the benefits of masturbation. You should be proud of yourself for exploring the amazing things your body has the potential to do and for seeking advice to get the most out of it. 

So, now, here are my recommendations...

1) Does it feel nice just inserting 1-2 inches? If so, keep doing that and stop thinking about inserting it any deeper and just enjoy what you're doing already. To increase pleasure try stimulating your clitoris at the same time with your other hand and just concentrate on exploring the outer areas and first couple of inches of yourself to begin with. You'll be amazed at how much your vaginal opening will relax as soon as you stop thinking too much about it. Do this each time you play and I can almost guarantee that you'll look down at some point and be surprised to see you've inserted 3-4 inches without even really realising.

2) It could be the posision you're in that's making it tricky - especially as this is new for you. If you usually lay on your back and raise your legs, this can be a great position for G-spot stimulation, but it also shortens your vaginal canal and can make insertion more fiddly if you're not used to it yet. Try laying on your front/side and inserting from behind as an alternative. If that doesn't work, you might like to try a beginners suction cup dildo instead. These toys can be stuck to a smooth surface so that instead of pushing the toy inside of you, you lower yourself onto it. Psychologically and physically this is a completely different experience and can often help with relaxation. 

3) Location, location, location. Try experimenting with location as well as position. Make sure you're somewhere you can fully relax (if you live with others, the bathroom is a great place as you can lock the door and run the shower). A hot bath can also help you relax more. 

Good luck, have fun and, did I say r-e-l-a-a-a-a-x?? ;) 

1 Like

Natand Tom, sorry yes I should have pressed quote to this thread. Mine was the only response at the time so didn't feel the need to. I've just noticed your response and Embrace's which is odd!

I didn't know how to copy a link to a product but I've just had to figure it out myself!!!

Great advice from Lovehoney Jess :)

I had this problem too it takes some time and all I did was push it in a little bit at a time give a bit of time to adjust then push again. I didn't have lube at first

Have you figured it Ozz? x

that was the dildo I had in mind that Jess suggested, slimmer girth might be easier to start with!

NatandTom wrote:

Have you figured it Ozz? x

that was the dildo I had in mind thYeah think so :)at Jess suggested, slimmer girth might be easier to start with!

Yeah NatandTom, I think so! :) x

Hi Embrace

I know exactly how you feel. I am 50 and a virgin. I posted my first question on here back in August this year asking for advice. Someone recommended a silicone dildo with suction and only a 3 inch circumference. I bought it, obviously bled at the first attempt, but after that I was on a roll and boy did it feel good. I have bought 2 more dildos since, a 3.5 inch and 4 inch circumference. Am due to start using the 3.5 this weekend and gonna work my way up to the 4 inch. Lots and lots and lots of lube, patience and relaxation is the key. Don't go at it like a bull at a gate, it will take time and when you get there eventually it will feel wonderful.![](upload://h7LJ67OOrR57VDYrj5ZEwwHAfLG.gif)

Enjoy!!!

Embrace. You have some lovely advice here, but I would just say that there is a range of toys and glass is one that while I love how smooth it feels it is also very firm and unforgiving. You may find a different surface of a toy and something smaller may be a better place to start. All of us had to start somewhere and congrats for being open minded and exploring now.... I didn't discover how much I could enjoy toys until later in life.

With masturbation some women really like the sensation of vibrations as well, clirotal stimualtion as well as insertion. I am all about the relaxing and setting a mood (think of something sexy or read an erotic novel maybe) and take your time... lubricate a lot and often and dont but too much pressure on yourself emotionally.

Do you have clitoral orgasms? If yes, try having a couple first before trying any sort of penetration :)

Ellie

I must say, you have certainly come to the right place for advice. The people on these forums are amazing. The advice is excellent and doesn't make you feel in the least bit stupid. Everyone has to start somewhere and there is always someone out there willing to part with some of their wisdom

1 Like

Thank you all for the great replies! I wish I'd asked on here before I bought the glass one :(.

Looks like I'll have to have save up for a little bit for the one that Jess suggested (I have a chronic illness so I can only work 10 hours per week!).

Thanks again for the replies I really appreciate it x

1 Like

Embrace wrote:

Thank you all for the great replies! I wish I'd asked on here before I bought the glass one :(.

Looks like I'll have to have save up for a little bit for the one that Jess suggested (I have a chronic illness so I can only work 10 hours per week!).

Thanks again for the replies I really appreciate it x

Hey Embrace

If you're having second thoughts about your original purchase, please get in touch with Customer Care. We accept returns for any reason, even if you've used it and just don't like it. Just fill in the returns form to get the process started. 

We could swap it for the suction cup one I mentioned, and you'd still have some change left!

Don't forget you can use your Oh! Points towards future purchases too :) 

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Embrace wrote:

Thank you all for the great replies! I wish I'd asked on here before I bought the glass one :(.

Looks like I'll have to have save up for a little bit for the one that Jess suggested (I have a chronic illness so I can only work 10 hours per week!).

Thanks again for the replies I really appreciate it x

Hey Embrace

If you're having second thoughts about your original purchase, please get in touch with Customer Care. We accept returns for any reason, even if you've used it and just don't like it. Just fill in the https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/returns/ to get the process started.

We could swap it for the suction cup one I mentioned, and you'd still have some change left!

Don't forget you can use your http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/lovehoney-loyalty-scheme/ towards future purchases too :)

That's the first one I bought Jess, so easy to use and the silicone is excellent.

Always a pleasure to advice and help. The people on Lovehoney are some of the nicest people I've had the pleasure talking to! So friendly! :) x

It's nice to be able to talk so openly about it :)

I think I'll just keep the glass one rather than send it back (the post office isn't easy for me to walk to with my health conditions) and hopefully it'll be used eventually.

Looks like I'll have to get some lube too so looks like it'll take me about 1 month to save up! Was hoping not to wait that long, but I guess it'll be worth it in the long run ![](upload://JDvwB4BqTlXmc0TRZyEqziKCrM.gif)

Thank you to everyone for the help x

Have a lovely weekend sweets x