Hi guys. Looking for some help on how to approach this.
I love going down on my OH before we go out or have sex. Watching her hit that point is amazing. Anyway, I think she is keen for me to try rimming on her or start fingering the area which the thought of makes me hard. My issue is she doesn’t keep things neat down there and the hair goes right roujd to her anus, it is starting to bother me and it’s all I can think about when I go down. I like to keep myself trim down there but she tells me it’s uncomfortable when she shaves it off, I dont want it shaved all off, just kept nice & neat.
Just wondering how to approach this as inevitably when I bring up sex it turns into an argument….even asking for something other than missionary I get the feeling she can’t be bothered and thinks I’m a pervert.
This is a tough one because it’s her body, you don’t get a say equally if she wants you going down there she could be a little more accommadating
It’s absolutely a ballache when the hair is growing back, the itchiness and the stubble catching on knickers, aggravates the life out of me. So I get why she is reluctant.
Hair from foof to buttonhole is normal, and hair in one place is the same as in any other place…
Offer up a compromise? As in, keep the Bush short not shaved, but ask that she removes the hair leading to her buttonhole as you’d be more comfortable and willing to do the rimming if the hair was dealt with. And just be straight with her. All you can do is say your piece, if she doesn’t go for it, then unfortunately that’s that. And don’t spring this all on her mid act
As said you can’t force her. Maybe try a different way to explain how shorter hair on her would help both of you sexually.
I don’t like being shaved completely down there, but OH bought me a trimmer so I can trim it short but not all off. OH said it’s much easier and nicer for him, and also I am much more sensitive so sex/foreplay much nicer. I also feel trimming down there is more hygienic overall so I am more inclined to keep it under control (especially when it’s shark week!)
You can offer to trim her up (with the small toiletry scissors to avoid razor burn and ingrown hairs if that’s what she’s worried about from shaving), not like - let me clean up this hairy ass - but more like - I don’t mind helping you trim the hard to reach/hard to see areas around your vagina, oh I can go down a little further and trim up around this hole as well I’d be happy if my husband offered to trim me up between waxes, but I usually end up doing it myself ( and I feel like a contortionist )
My OH uses hair removal cream (it stinks) but does a great job. She doesn’t have any hair around or that near her anus only around and underneath her vaginal area. She is quite reluctant to go to close to her labia with the cream, so there can be some hair underneath which I’m not keen on.
When she really concentrates and takes her time she can almost get it all without any “burning her bits” as she puts it. She also sometimes finishes off carefully with a lady razor. Best done in the bath when everything is softened and supple.
I used it once or twice myself, I have some hair around anus, not a forest but even so, I smothered it on and didn’t care about burning warning. To be honest it felt a little hot but didn’t cause any discomfort or lasting stinging etc. I had completely smooth balls, perineum area and bum crack, well everything, it was a really nice feeling to be honest.
My OH was like yours, reluctant and used to say “it’s there for a reason” I was her first BF to get her to try deforestation and since she has not looked back.
She even went through a spell of going and getting it waxed off which surprised me as she is a bit prudish… I certainly was surprised when she said most off her fanny was on show and touched by another women.
I used to have an over grown bush many years ago. The thought of going bald didn’t appeal to me back then so trimmed it. But about 15byrs ago, we both went bald to see what it felt like and I’ve never had a bush since. A wee bit of growth now and again, but usually bald. Razor burn is a pain, but I only shave it a bit here and there as keep the de forresting down then you don’t get razor burn or rashes. Never tried wax or creams but think I might try it.
Ultimately its up to her, however, choose the right moment and be open and honest. Make a joke about it. And as others have said, offer help for the hard to reach parts, that in itself can be fun. I definitely feel more without a forrest. I will never have a bush or forrest again
Tough one to advise on, but I have the opposite issue for myself - my OH loves the hair. I still keep it trimmed round front, but cannot do the butt side. Think I may ask her to do some point, just to tidy it up a little.
From previous threads I wouldn’t suggest going the cream route, if gets in a sensitive spot or left too long sounds painful! Maybe I’ll see if the OH wants to inflict some waxing pain on me.
Unfortunately though, you only option is a chat with your OH and as mentioned by others, maybe ask if you could tidy the area’s your wanting to focus on - although based on the sex arguments it may be a tough one either way. All I would say is look at how you can put your preference across in a nice way and see what happens - but it may well be a ‘suck it up, buttercup’ outcome and a case of working through the undergrowth as it were.
I would just be honest with her.
Say that you’re really keen on exploring her anally but you’d feel much more comfortable if the area was trimmed - then offer to do it for her.
She may not know how bad it looks, and she will have trouble doing it herself too.
If she’s really interested in going ahead then she should be prepared to do that - otherwise, it’s up to you if you still want to go ahead but you probably won’t enjoy it as much.
equally if she wants you going down there she could be a little more accommadating 
I’d be happy if my husband offered to trim me up between waxes, but I usually end up doing it myself ( and I feel like a contortionist 
)
xx