ok so here goes i have just bought the fetish fantasy beginners vibrating strap-on dildo to use with my OH for some first time fun and after a positive response i am sure we will be exploring this more in the future!
as wonderful as this strap-on is especially for beginners i found that it was not very sturdy to enable me to get a good thrusting motion going on and as it is jelly i found i was using my hands a lot to guide it (and with excessive ammounts of lube it was slippy as hell too lol)
can anyone give me a recomendation as to what would be a good upgrade?
need somthing more ridgid/sturdy!! but not too big (obviously) but we really dont want it to look like a cock!!!
It's very sturdy and heavy (read my review) but also it's a Doc Johnson so it's interchangeable. It takes a while to get the motion of thrusting but this was very easy. Most of all - it doesn't look like a cock!
First off, you don't actually state in the post, but I am assuming from your profile that you are after a harness and dildo or combined to use on a man anally (i.e. pegging).
It is a high quality set that provides good control. I would probably say that maybe it is more of a beginners set, as if you do get really into it you might fairly soon be looking for something larger than the Silk large which despite its name is not all that large. The harness is decent value, very functional, but not super sexy (looks to the case with most of the sportsheets harnesses), so maybe it would be worth investing a bit of money in something you really liked the look of. I would definitely go for something with a changeable o-ring, so you can use multiple dildos with the same harness, as long as the dildo has a flared base (a wider range than the vac-u-lock range, and if he enjoys pegging he will want more!).
Dildo-wise I would recommend something silicone, as it will last longer, is safer than jelly in our view, and is firmer than jelly which some people dislike but I personally prefer as it gives more control to my other half, and being firmer I find it "rubs" less. Pretty much anything Tantus (most of http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/silicone-dildos/) or from Babes n Horny is awesome. Some of the new Doc Johnson ones on LH also look quite nice I reckon.
Hope some of this is helpful, just super enthusiastic about pegging and want to encourage some fellow fans (and definitely better with some quality kit)!