Ok so this may be rather long winded and it has been brought about after a conversation with a friend about strange relationships.
Many moons ago I started having a relationship with a lady who was the sister of a chap I worked with. I did ask the chap if he minded if I asked his sister out and he said no problem but you will not be with her long as she likes to put it about a bit.
Needless to say I asked his sister out and after about 2 hours of the date we ended up at her house doing the business. We met almost every day afterwards for about a month and every time we ended up in bed and most times we never even got to bed before we were at it. At this point I had a fire in my flat due to a lodger leaving a chip pan on and my flat was ruined. The lady asked me to move in with her and not look for another place, which I of course accepted.
We were at it like rabbits from this point onwards. We were having sex anywhere from 1 -6 times a day which was awesome as I love sex and have a very high sex drive. Not too long after I was warned by a few different people that my then GF was playing away with quite a few different people. Normally this would have me kicking the person into touch and moving on but on this occasion I said nothing and just carried on as if I knew nothing. This may seem really really odd but I already knew we had no real future but the sex was great and on a plate.
My then GF’s brother did actually say to me after about 6 months that he knew for a fact while I was at work his sister was having other blokes over and not to just chat. I did say that I knew about it and I was ok with it. He asked why and I said “Not to be crude but I pay a share of the bills and get a roof over my head much cheaper than having my own place. I also get sex on tap and as many BJ’s as I want so its cheaper than paying a hooker” to which he just laughed and left it at that.
This relationship continued for around 3 years. I know I was cheated on hundreds of times but in the mean time my needs were more than met and because of sharing the bills I managed to save enough for a deposit on a house before I left.
When I learned early on that this would never be a meaningful relationship I made a conscious choice to stay with the primary goal of saving money. The sex was an added bonus and it was literally every day multiple times a day. When I left I was asked why to which I replied “Because you are a serial cheat” this was not denied in fact she sniggered and said “If only you knew”. I did reply and said “I do know and I know its over 100 but you have had many many blokes behind my back yet i have been sexually fulfilled and saved for a house at the same time”
Needless to say we ended things there and there was no animosity for either side in fact she had someone else move in the very next day.
My question is what would you of done in the same situation? Normally I would say once a cheat always a cheat and walk away but knowing this was a serial cheater I though I would get something out of it at the same time.
Wow ok, I’m glad people told you, those are good people.
I honestly don’t know how I’d handle it, I’ve very against cheating and someone thinking they’re making a fool out of me. Granted thats probably my issue but them thinking they were getting one over on me, for 3 years! I don’t think I could say nothing.
I have questions.
Did you two behave like you’re in a relationship? Were there dates? Holidays/trips together?
Why not tell her you know and don’t care?
Did you stay because you had nowhere else to go?
Her boasting would’ve annoyed me and I’m glad you were able to get out of it with a house for yourself. More power to you, but I think I’d have left.
We did not really act like a relationship to be honest I was very work orientated and I knew I had a goal of buying a house. It was literally like sharing a bed while I was there (With a lot of benefits). I have never had a relationship like it before as there was virtually no emotional attachments.
I did not say anything as I was not expecting to stay as long as I did just fell into a rutt.
I stayed mainly because the sex was great and the money going in the bank was also a main aim. Plus knowing I could walk away at any time without heartbreak was a bonus.
The boasting just made me laugh because I knew the extent of the cheating and ment nothing to me at all.
I mean if you knew from near the start that she was cheating and you made your peace with that. Then moving forward you knew it was only sex and a roof over your head. That allowed you to save up enough money so you could get your own place and move on and find a real relationship. Then I think you made the best out of the situation. I don’t condone cheating but since you just seen it as sex on tap. Then am glad you managed to get something good out of the situation.
No I’d of not stopped at all done one and moved on ages ago for me , but we are all different with different needs you made it work for you so fair play
To be honest, I don’t really see a problem with it. You were both getting what you wanted, and, if you were at peace with the fact she was having sex with other people without telling you, then that’s fine. You were not thinking it was a serious, monogamous relationship and you managed to save enough for a deposit for your own house. As long as feelings weren’t involved, I’d call it a win… with the proviso you were using protection and getting regular STD checks of course.
Looking back on my life now I would have had a few of those types on the go. If she was nailing dudes and you were ok with it, did you have sex with other women too?
I think life is too short when you are young to get all tied in a knot so soon. Use it to the full and move on. As long as you didn’t catch a bunch of STD’s, I’d say you won!
oh yes the STD checks were always as soon as allowed however this relationship if you can call it that was the only one I have used condoms the whole way through.
Nope I did not have sex with other women. Although I knew the “relationship” was basically a farce I would still of considered it cheating by me and that is something I have never done and never will.
From the sounds of it you dealt with things well in your own ways and used the relationship equally to the best of your fulfillments as she did too and at the end of the day as long as neither where hurt by it then who’s to say it was right or wrong
Yup it was a very strange one! From my side I had no feelings at all which is quite unusual for me as I am a very loyal and caring person but knowing what I did those feelings never even started to happen. It was more like a business transaction from my side to be honest. I can not speak from her side but she was just more interested in as much sex as possible from what I can gather and bearing in mid this was 25+ years ago I know she is still the same.
You done the right thing for you. You kept your cool and stayed tight lipped till you could find your own place and that’s to be admired. Glad you kept yourself safe too. Well done
I was asking as the conversation came up with a friend a few days ago about weird relationships. It was never intended to be a what is right and what is wrong question. I was more curious as to what others would of done in a similar situation.
