I was wondering if anyone has discovered by accident they have a fetish for something?
For example, I have a big thing about leather shoes on a guy, gets me excited especially if they are shiny - brings out my urge to worship him lol! I've always had a liking for that, I found out I liked shoes by accident, I was looking in my exe's wardrobe to get something out and I was drawn to this wonderful smell, so I picked up the shoes and I inhaled the scent, then I suddenly realised I was very excited and wanted him to wear them while he dominated me, got me to kiss them and stuff like that, I found it electrifying, then I always knew what was coming if he was wearing those shoes!
Has anyone else found out they have a fetish by random chance?
I remember getting erections when i was bout 10/11 when watching gungey game shows on tv... It was a while later (prob about 16) before i realised the connection though.
I discovered by accident that I was kinky almost exactly 3 years ago, two weeks after my 40th birthday. I'd connected to the bondage.com IRC server to chat with a friend of mine, and after chatting with some people I thought, oh, yeah, this is right.
Ever since then I've been looking around within the arena of diverse sexuality to find stuff I was into, so I don't know if any discoveries I made after that count as accidental. Now I know I'm a bisexual polyamorous kinky top. I do remember that the first time I picked up a flogger, it felt perfectly right and natural and I was able to throw it accurately almost from my first swing.
One thing which turns me on the most is when a person I like is so eager and willing to do things for me which they don't like that much, just because I want them to. Owning their pleasure is a big part of motivating them, and their desires and pleasure turns me on too, so I am less interested in any one specific fetish, and more interested in how they tick - if that makes any sense.
Having said that, I think I always knew that I kink hard for yummy food to eat, especially sushi, and that remains the same no matter who my partners are. So that was more an "always knew" thing rather than a "accidental discovery" thing.
I kind of feel like I was cheated out of all those years of enjoying my flavour of sexual diversity, because of being misled into thinking that vanilla coupledom was all there was to relationships. Still, I know now, and I'm making up for lost time. :)
I think I've known for a very long time, from childhood, what my sexual and romantic interests were. However, realising from my observations of my peers that they weren't 'normal', or at least they weren't what anyone else seemed to be envisaging in their future, I spent a long time keeping shtum.
Though one of my sexual rather than relationship interests came from reading a snippet article in my grandmother's copy of Take a Break...waaah, what a place to get ideas from.
A bit like Lubyanka I feel like I missed out for some time, except I was the one who cheated myself by not wanting to offend people.
its not really a fetish btu i ws about 10/11 when i realised that i am more of a submissive in relationships and that that turned me on. Ive yet to do any BDSM with a partner though
I have a fetish for men in Victorian era clothes... but I can't remember when I realised this. I have yet to use this in the bedroom sadly.
That could lead to interesting role play - you could try a fantasy scenario, like, he could dress as the Phantom of the Opera or something like that - you could get a costume from a fancy dress shop for that! Might be fun!
I too thought for years that kinks and fantasy fun was best kept in my head - very frustrating! Then I realised there are imaginative people out there, and it really opened a door for me when I descovered that! It made me realised sex can be fun and exciting and not to be shy to bring up new subjects.
I discovered by accident that I was kinky almost exactly 3 years ago, two weeks after my 40th birthday. I'd connected to the bondage.com IRC server to chat with a friend of mine, and after chatting with some people I thought, oh, yeah, this is right.
Ever since then I've been looking around within the arena of diverse sexuality to find stuff I was into, so I don't know if any discoveries I made after that count as accidental. Now I know I'm a bisexual polyamorous kinky top. I do remember that the first time I picked up a flogger, it felt perfectly right and natural and I was able to throw it accurately almost from my first swing.
One thing which turns me on the most is when a person I like is so eager and willing to do things for me which they don't like that much, just because I want them to. Owning their pleasure is a big part of motivating them, and their desires and pleasure turns me on too, so I am less interested in any one specific fetish, and more interested in how they tick - if that makes any sense.
Having said that, I think I always knew that I kink hard for yummy food to eat, especially sushi, and that remains the same no matter who my partners are. So that was more an "always knew" thing rather than a "accidental discovery" thing.
I kind of feel like I was cheated out of all those years of enjoying my flavour of sexual diversity, because of being misled into thinking that vanilla coupledom was all there was to relationships. Still, I know now, and I'm making up for lost time. :)
I know what you mean, I was 28 years old before I realised what a wonderful world sex is - for me it took an adventurous lover with imagination, after that there was no looking back - it opens a door and you just want to find out more, and there always is more to learn I think, I hopeExternal Media
I remember being really young, five or six, and loving the feel of lacy underwear and tights. I found a box of stockings called "lucky charm" or something and had a look inside, it was a pair of stockings, and I pulled them up my arms. I don't remember being sexually aroused, but I was excited by the texture. I've been a stocking and tights man ever since.
its not really a fetish btu i ws about 10/11 when i realised that i am more of a submissive in relationships and that that turned me on. Ive yet to do any BDSM with a partner though
You could perhaps begin with a partner by getting him to be the boss and give you verbal commands. That could lead into other play like a spanking if you disobey him.Could be funExternal Media
I think I've known for a very long time, from childhood, what my sexual and romantic interests were. However, realising from my observations of my peers that they weren't 'normal', or at least they weren't what anyone else seemed to be envisaging in their future, I spent a long time keeping shtum.
Though one of my sexual rather than relationship interests came from reading a snippet article in my grandmother's copy of Take a Break...waaah, what a place to get ideas from.
A bit like Lubyanka I feel like I missed out for some time, except I was the one who cheated myself by not wanting to offend people.
I know what you mean about finding stimulation and seeds of an idea that becomes arousing from the unlikeliest sources, it can be an every day, seemingly innocent thing, but to the fetishist within (which I think everyone has even if they have yet to descover it), there grows an idea.
All the same, I'll still wonder - What did you find arousing in that magazine?
Hmm. Lets see. I can remember looking at swimming caps when I was about 5 or 6 and there was a shiny black one in there which kinda jumped out at me.
After that, there were a couple of pop videos on Top of the Pops which made me stand up. This would've been around 13-14 ish. I suppose after that it just developed. I was pretty certain that I had a fetish for latex etc when I was 20 but I didn't do anything about it until I was 25 ish. This was preinternet days and was when Honour had some really nice B&W pics in its catalog.
At the time it was seriously tough to find stuff - how do you know where to get X when you don't know where it is? Once I discovered the odd advert in the back of a couple of the daily newspapers then I had a jumping off point but until then it was hard to find.
I was always fairly aware that I was different - the other kids in my class were always handing round the various topless mags and I must admit that I was aware that they weren't quite floating my boat - there was something missing.
I've been into tying up and restraining for as long as I can remember but my long term ex was never into it at all but. . . .I met my soul mate in 2001 ( I was 32, she 39 ) and she is up for experimenting like me and she thrives on being restrained now! Also since coming on here I've become really interested in flogging/spanking (my OH is the spanker in our relationship, ouch!). We've even been to a BDSM chamber and really enjoyed it. The OH allowed me to restrain her to an A frame and flog the ass offa her, she's one tough girl!
It got me wondering what exactly is a fetish? It's a bit vague. According to the ever so reliable wikipedia:
Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g. in psychiatric medicine, as a disorder of sexual preference or as an enhancing element to a relationship.
Hmmmm. Conventionally viewed?? So.... In 1665 would my love of blowjobs and preference over sex be viewed as a fetish? I love giving oral, specially facesitting but more so because its the most comfortable way to lick it! I'd happy do it everyday though! Hmmmm, help me LH members! Am I a fetishist(SP)?
