Looking for some advice.
I am married 22 years to my lovely wife we have 5 kids and as you can imagine its hard to get time to have some fun between the sheets and if we do it we have to be Quiet(Hence why i think the shyness etc is stopping my wife to go to next stage of an orgasm and has me intrigued to see what happens at the next level.
Basically ive noticed when i give my wife Oral and also using fingers she gets very aroused, we get to a point when oral/ fingering my OH after a while starts to make a squelching noise inside her vagina( hope this doesn’t sound to crude)… She has to stop and says we will wake the kids up/ go to loo. … For me as a partner its gets frustrating as id love to know if i kept on doing this what would happen and what experience my wife would have… any ideas to bring my OH to the next stage and not to be too shy about the next stage of an orgasm… I think for years now of kids in next room next door has made my OH to keep things quiet… In May she goes on a three day a week and i work from home so hopefully when kids are in school we can have quality time in the bedroom department again but would love if she overcame her shyness and open up see what happens next as i know she is enjoying the moment but has to stop (ie go to toilet /wake kids) … So any help or advice would be great… If we bought a toy into the next stage any ideas or tips as well…
Kegel exercises will help with the need to pass urine, it’s quite a common thing for women post childbirth to experience during sex.
Being alone will definitely help with relaxing and the removal of the anxiety of waking anyone up. The more you can be alone the more the body will be relaxed. Difficult in your scenario, but make the most of what you have in alone time, soft music, scented candles, starting the whole romance thing over again.
@DanceswithPenguins thanks for your replay and advice, re the toilet issue there been times she has only gone to the bathroom prior to having sex, so maybe this excersise will help… Think my OH with the kids in room next to ours she is afraid /shy to let herself go to next level… And im hoping now that going forward that the shyness will stop her enjoying more experiences in the bedroom…
I can’t comment as much on how she feels after the “squelching” but it might make her more comfortable if she is relaxed beforehand. A nice bath and a glass of wine at night after the kids could go to bed could be a great way for her to let go for herself and then maybe she will be able to let go for you when guys get intimate. I also agree that a sensual mood where she can’t even remember that the kids are next door would be helpful.
@VixenV thanks for the reply… See the kids are at the age they know about the birds and bees. So im guessing my wife is embarrassed if they here us having some fun… Its like she gets to a point and shes really aroused then its ah we better stop (kids here us /go to loo…
Just worried that this will be the norm going forward when she goes on a 3 Day a week.
I hoping not as i know im pleasuring my OH but would love her to keep enjoying the experience and not stop and really enjoy the experience of what happens next…
Ah so maybe if you have a tv on the in the bedroom, put it on to something really boring (maybe a dull documentary) and lock the doors in case. Then see if your wife would wear headphones and listen to something a little more relaxing. She won’t be able to hear herself as much and the kids will just hear the tv.
Sounds to me like you’re doing things right and needing to go to the loo is either that feeling before things happen or being used as an excuse not to fully let go. Not wanting to disturb the kids or be overheard is definitely a barrier… any chance they can stay with grandparents for a night? Tell kids it’s because their grandparents want to spend time with them and grandparents truthfully that you guys need an evening to yourselves.
When they’re back at school and you’re home together it might be easier but an evening to fully relax when you’re not meant to be working is probably the best.
Sounds familar to the lead up to squirting…but there’s nothing you can do…she needs to want to and also feel confident to let go for herself. It’s a big thing…well it was for me.
It’s awkward when you have children to switch off from being mum…years of putting them first sometimes makes it difficult to then put yourself first occasionally.
As regarding bringing a sex toy into the scenario talk about it out of the bedroom…maybe browse the Lovehoney site together as a bit of fun without pressure…and maybe she might open up about holding back but it also could be just that she doesn’t want to let go.
I second @CurvyJilly - I make that squelchy sound just before squirting and it can feel like I need to wee! But as you say it won’t happen if she is self conscious / worried about kids coming in!
Do you have a lock on your door which you can just use when playing, and have some TV on in the background when kids are in bed? That’s what we tend to do, it gives an extra layer of protection! Or play downstairs away from them at night?
It sounds like you will get plenty more opportunities once your work patterns change!
@VixenV@Peitho@WelshDragonette@CurvyJilly really appreciate the replies…
At least im doing something right, the kids are teenagers so hopefully once OH goes to a 3 day a week we can move on and she can relax with no kids in house…
When you say this could be a sign before she is to squirt, ( if she is relaxed) do i keep doing what im doing or is there anything else that i need to do…( this sounds really exciting) hopefully we can get to this stage really excited if we can get to this … Any advice or tips much appreciated or what toy would help if needed… But as i said in previous notes… With oral and fingering we are getting to the squelchy sound then she feels the urge to use the toilet
Does your wife want to squirt first and foremost? Is she as excited as you are? Have you been pressuring her that this is your goal? If so that could be the reason she is holding back…she could be feeling like she has to perform for you.
I would say carry on doing what you’re doing stimulating that area and maybe increasing the speed of your movement.
It does feel like you are going to wet yourself. If this is something that she is concerned about I would suggest she empties her bladder first so she feels more confident.
Be prepared put a towel underneath or a “puppy pad” as it can get very wet if it does happen.
If you type in squirting / gushing at the top of the search bar there are lots of threads about this topic which you both may find helpful to look through.
Carry on as you are…go with the “flow” so to speak.
No pressures @Romanticguy …both of you relax…chat chat and chat more…and good luck.
@CurvyJilly thats a good question… I dont know, i would like to think she would, but i wouldn’t pressurise her either if she didn’t want to…
Hopefully once we get a bit of free time we both can relax can go from there… As you say if she does want to try it, good idea re going to toilet etc… Thanks for advice much appreciated
What about trying in the bathroom with the shower running in the background to cover the noise issue?
When we thought noises might be overheard in over rooms, I got my wife a toy and let her use it while I went into other rooms to see if I can hear anything.
As soon as I knew she couldn’t be heard, she let go a bit more.
Sounds like before squirting to me too. (I always think the characteristic squelching noise is a bit like the sound of walking around in wet shoes personally)
Seconding @CurvyJilly, squirting (and gspot orgasms for that matter) very much hinge on your ability to relax into them. If your stressed, nervous, half listening to whats going on outside the room incase someone walks in, or holding back as your worried about bladder things, it just wont happen.
First few times it definitely feels like your going to wet yourself. The g spot, spleen glad (which is where the liquid comes from in squirting) and bladder are all positioned right next to each other. So when you g spot you also tend to press on the bladder. So Going to the loo before hand is good idea that helps you to relax more about the sensation.
Also putting down a towel. A good size one. It can be alot of liquid. Sometimes Like someone has spilt a glass of water in the bed quantities
But at the end of the day, have a good chat about it. See what she thinks. She might not be into it, or up for trying it and thats fine. It can be quite intense and they are not everyones cup of tea.
Plus, Sex is not a one trick pony. Theres lots of other fun things to try that she might prefer the idea of.
I reckon your doing all the right stuff for now and when the time comes you have freedom time with kids at school you both may find a new lease of life and her shyness could go.
Alternatively have you both considered getting a babysitter and renting a hotel room for an evening to rekindle a date night kinda vibe?
We have two children in our house and love to get the house to ourselves in the daytime.
Most times they’re upstairs asleep and we’re downstairs doing it quietly in the lounge keeping an eye out.
If my wife is a bit wetter than normal and if I do a bit too crazy thrusting and coming close to coming out all the time then she sometimes gets filled up a bit with air and she says it’s not farts and it’s air and we either change position or I stay further in.
Doesn’t happen too often and we just laugh it off but it does sound quite loud after we’ve been so quiet!