Wife keeps say “It does nothing for me “!

Sounds like a push and shove type situation where it’s nice she dresses up for you and you in turn compliment her so your both getting off on something from each other but maybe ask her if there’s anything more you can do to help stimulate her better :slightly_smiling_face:

Yes, I already do that.
I think what would be great, is if she expressed to me what she likes, rather than leaveing me to guess; this way it hugely increases the chances of me getting right, rather than the alternative that leaves a massive margin for error !

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I think the main thing, to begin with, is that she is not doing something that she doesn’t want to or doesn’t enjoy - however, I understand how it’s something you’d like you both to get as much out of.
I had similar with my ex-partner (still feels weird those to letters ‘ex’). I could feel the energy difference on occasions.

In terms of why she isn’t into it in the same way could be many reasons, only she will know - and even then, it may be something subconscious, based on messages she heard as a child perhaps. It could be related to insecurities, but it’s all guess work.

That bit in bold is not true. Being able to engage does not mean that it is because being dressed up is doing something for her.

It sounds like she is being pretty clear to me in that first sentence - she has no problems with doing it, it just doesn’t get her juices flowing in the same way.
What I’m hearing there is that because it is not having that affect on her, it is then causing you concern.

There’s some big ass assumptions going on there. Has what she said changed at any point?

Perhaps the reason she is enjoying it is because she sees the affect it is having on you.

However, reading your comments, there is a lot of irony in your posts. For example, her doing what you want for the sake of pleasing you and not enjoying it herself being a big turn off. Yet, this all seems focused on her seeing things your way.

I wonder if she feels she is being heard if it goes against your ideals? I.e. she is saying dressing up is doing nothing for her, and it sounds like you’re trying to prove that it is?
Maybe try something different, sensual massages, pamper her, see what reaction you get. If she isn’t expressing what she would like, try something a little different based on things you know she does like - if she says it is wrong, then it’s all learning, but she will see you’re making the effort for her, rather than trying to convince her of your own way.

Hope my post doesn’t sound too negative, it’s just based on my own personal experience in past of getting and trying to convince others that my way is always the right way. Of course, I may be way off the mark here, in which case feel free to simply ignore.

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Thank you, I’d just like her to offer an alternative!
But perhaps that’s wrong?

My partner does this, says “it does nothing for her” so what i do, is get over it and dont suggest it or bring it up.
Because compromises are key for relationships. If she wanted to do stuff i didnt want to or got nothing from, id expect her to respect my decisions and not try to nag me or change my mind.

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When your wife is picking out her own clothing for events like weddings/nights out etc what does she pick? Does she prefer tight fitting outfits that show off her curves, does she like something tight fitting on top with a flowy loose fitting skirt, or vice versa?

By knowing which parts of her body she enjoys showing off you will be able to make better lingerie choices that she might enjoy wearing more, even if wearing it doesn’t sexually turn her on.
(I love wearing lingerie to cover my tummy for example, so I go for babydolls predominantly since they are loose around my tummy)

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Im wondering if its the same thing, to a degree, as my tenga vibrating cock ring.

Honestly, as the penis bearer, it does nothing to me.
I could have it on or off, little difference for my penis.
What it does to my wife though… that’s amazing!!! I’ll put it on again and again just for that!!!

Some things, as long as youre happy to go along with it, you don’t do for yourself. And that’s fine.

She’s happy doing it for you? Count yourself lucky, and let her know how much you appreciate it, and how thankful you are for it.

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I completely agree @JustAnotherPervert

We don’t like everything we do in life, sometimes you put yourself out to make others happy.
There is nothing wrong with his wife for doing this.
My wife does lots like this, that she doesn’t enjoy but does them for me.
It’s never about pressure or respecting each other’s wishes, it’s about putting others first for the reason of Love and compromise.
I use toys that don’t do anything for me, but she likes.
She does things for me that she doesn’t like, and I may ask on here, how to make it more enjoyable for her.
To make something more enjoyable is a perfectly reasonable question. I am not asking her to love it.

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