A little update

Off-Topic Chat
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Hi all,

Not sure where to start, been a strange old year, for many reasons.
I’ve been a bit of a stranger on here, realised spent less and less time - I associate LH with the time I was with Mrs Kink, and although I feel I have probably moved on emotionally from that relationship, I still miss her a lot.
I thought sex, or lack of, would have been an issue as time went by. It strangely hasn’t been. I’ve never enjoyed sex for the sake of it. There’s been times really felt I needed or wanted it, but those have passed, and focused more on whats going on for me.

As you can gather from above, still single, and I’m OK with that a lot of the time. Happier being with myself and getting to know me, although been a lot of moments over the year I have felt lonely and isolated. Oh, I’m still sober and clean too, 5 years now. Not been smoking since the 14th May.
I guess in that sense it has been a huge year for me. Never thought I’d be able to stop smoking and vaping - been like a chimney since age of 15/16. Never thought I’d be OK being single. If I’m honest, I’m not sure I am OK being single, but getting on with life.

Christmas has been miserable, second year running I’ve done feck all about it - this year I did less than last year. I’ve worked out what that’s about, something else to work on and fix.
As I type that I wonder whether my approach of looking at self and reflecting on feelings etc., is actually the right thing. Would it be more fun to just hit the Fuck It button, get wasted become selfish and do what the fuck I want?
Haha it probably would be, but wouldn’t last long before I’m a mess in the gutter, so I’ll pass on that for now.

What does 2024 hold in store? Who knows. More self reflection, starting to enjoy life in different ways. Maybe become open to finding a partner, or perhaps a ‘FWB’ type thing, which always sounds a great idea just impossible to actually find.

Me and Sulley, the little monster in my head, seem a lot more at peace with each other. He is not rattling his cage so much, we talk to each other more. I still find myself irritable and my head automatically wants a ‘feel good’ fix. Slowly but surely they’ve been taken away though, alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, shopping (to some extent). So I think 24 will still be about understanding what I enjoy in life and how to do things a little better, certainly Christmas. Lots behind that little door though.

Apols it’s not the usual in depth long winded post, just a little over view of where things are at. Was feeling a little down this morning and thought I’d say Hi.
I hope you’ve all had a great Christmas, especially those that have been there each time I’ve crawled out the woodwork this year.

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@Mr_Kink1 Glad that you are moving on and beginning to understand what makes you happy / feel better.

2024 is out there to grab.

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@Mr_Kink1 keep up the good work and make 2024 about you. Stay positive

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I wish you all the best for 2024, lets hope you find a partner/fwb during the year. @Mr_Kink1

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Good luck for 2024

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Proud of you for staying strong and quitting smoking and vaping.

You’re doing really well and setting achievable goals, thank you for the update and keep going :purple_heart:

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I’m so proud of you dude for not letting things push you backwards on your road to recovery from alcohol and smoking… you’ve done so well and it would be devastating if you gave up on it as after all this is a thing for you and no one else :relieved:
I can definitely relate to the loneliness and isolation side of things, it is unbearable this time of year and I find myself distancing from socials to help protect my wellbeing…

Am glad you’ve taken time to poke head up to post on here again. Sending big hugs :people_hugging:

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Hi @Mr_Kink1, I think you’re doing amazingly well and you should give yourself a little credit for all the positive changes you’ve made in your life. Be proud that you’re continuing to think ahead for yourself. New partners will come along when you’re ready for them. Being happy with yourself should be the goal to make sure when that time comes, that you have a fully healed person to offer to someone. But more importantly aim for happy and healed for yourself.

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Well done on the progress you have made, you can use these post to check on how well you have done if feeling down. Keep up the good work.

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Good on you for opening up and discussing your previous issues with the forum - a brave and hopefully fulfilling relief for you.

We are here for you and with you during your journey to find your new self. I think I could benefit from some self reflection and improvement ascwell.

Best wishes for your continuing improvement for 2024 :pray:

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Thanks @AJSTAR, appreciate your thoughts and hugs, I hope you manged to get through the period yourself. It transpired most people I spoke with struggled this year, gets tough for some people with that ingrained expectation of ‘the season to be jolly’ and all that. It’s just not always the case.
I’m glad it is done, and hope I will manage it a little better for myself and for others this year.

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Thanks @JoCat, yes may not have come through on my post, but defo been a lot of growth through the year, lots of changes that I quickly forget about. Smoking alone was huge, 32 years it’s took me ha ha. This time last year it felt impossible, and here I am - 233 days nicotine, tar, tobacco and vape free. Strangest thing is it feels like a distant memory that I’d never smoked.
So yes, I am growing and healing, physically mentally and spiritually.
Finding I’m becoming a little more content and OK with myself. The darkness comes and visits, I look for a hand to hold - my instincts are always a lady, a partner. I try and pause and instead offer my hand to Sully, as thats where the darkness and the sadness really lives.
One day at a time and all that, and thank you for your comments.
I am grateful and proud of myself for what I have, and will continue, to achieve.

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Thanks all for your comments and support, very much appreciated!

@Mid-50s_kiwi I think everyone can benefit from some self reflection - me being the recovering addict I am, I take things to extreme. Either fold or all-in. However, I would also say it’s not a journey of finding a new self, it is finding my original authentic self, somewhere underneath all of the defence mechanisms the cognitive part of my brain has put into place. It turns out all this jazz, it’s an inside job ha ha

Happy New Year one and all, but remember, its just another day - and we only ever have this moment!

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I definitely embrace a grinch style around Christmas but I do enjoy making others happy so kinda put my focus on that this year and in all the main days were alright considering last year I was really ill with flu or a bad cold :see_no_evil:

Funnily I’d say take this year at your own pace, don’t worry about making any resolutions other than to be more kinder to yourself and your needs :relieved: