I am confused.
Over the years the wife has purchased a few dress up outfits which she has worn in the bedroom once, she says she does not feel comfortable in them.
At first i thought fair enough BUT she now wants to wear one of them when she goes on a Hen Do - I am confused, if she is not comfortable wearing them in the bedroom with her husband WHY would she feel comfortable wearing them out on the street with random people.
Can anyone shed any light/logic on this?
Thanks
I sort of get this, will try and explain it from my perspective but not sure if it will make sense.
I would have had issues doing this sort of dress up in the bedroom in the past. not because I was uncomfortable with wearing the item, so not body confidence issues, but wearing it in the bedroom would have required a level of role play/dirty talk/sexual confidence that I didn't have.
However, wearing it out would have been no problem, as it would just be an outfit.
That would have been MY issue.
Hope that helps.
It could be as simple as she hasn't got the confidence to wear it outside of the bedroom either... but the theme of the hen do and what all the others are wearing means she has to wear something like that to fit in with the group.... because it's a group not all the focus will be all on your wife so she may take a little comfort in that.
Lady S also makes a good point to :) xx
One of the things is with wearing some of these outfits in the bedroom, is you wear them with no support (Undergarments) so if you are a larger size or have curves they may not give you the shape you want. With good underwaer they will look completely different.
Also in the bedroom you may feel you have to take on the persona of the outfit, naughty nurse etc and this maybe what your OH struggles with.
Personally I love dressing up in or out of the bedroom, however I have very different outfits for outsdie.
I think Lady S has described how I would feel too. The lack of confidence in role play is what I lack, but would wear the outfit to a themed party x
I agree, for me it would be lack of confidence in that roll. While wearing an outfit out, takes that part away away. And the wearing of underwear underneath helps as well.
I think I would feel the same as the others!!
Not wanting to wear something in the bedroom is more so the concept of taking on the personality. For instance I don't really like being in control, but if I dress up and initiate it my partner would like me to be more in control and takes these opportunities to sit back and be submissive - something I don't mind doing but don't feel confident either so I tend I avoid it unless he's earned it ;-)
However I would also totally understand if my partner felt a little confused or upset by this. Personally I would not expect to go out in public without my partner present wearing something that I bought for him in the bedroom.
Obviously you don't want to argue with her or make anyone upset but if you're uneasy about it I would suggest her buy something new for the occasion that sits in a middle ground between bedroom and acceptable x
Also wearing a sexy outfit on a girly night out you're not really taking yourself too seriously and looking a bit silly is sort of the idea.
http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Ann-Summers-Miss-Mafia-Gangster-Outfit-Sz-8-ONLY-14-99-/00/s/NjAwWDQ1MA==/$(KGrHqQOKj4E6dU+by(jBOsGqubVMg~~60_35.JPG
This is the outfit in question. I don't necessarily want her to take on the persona of the outfit I just find it massively Sexy to have something Sexy to remove.
Cheers for your replies. It has helped me a lot.
Agh, thanks guys. That explanation makes sense. I now understand why some outfits for the bedroom don't come out much if at all. Even though I don't expect my oh to take on any persona but to her it may add a little pressure depending on how she views the outfit. Girls really need to climb into men's heads and vice versa. We buy you an outfit because we think you look sexy in anything not because we want you to take a role or become someone else. I would dress as batman in the bedroom even though I know I'm not and could never be a superhero. I would do it because you think I would look good in it.
Stu - maybe it's not so much about taking on a role as a discrepancy between the outfit and a woman's sexual identity or expression or idea of herself or however you want to think of it. Costumes might heighten that gap because of the role play/another persona associations, but ultimately it might be something more fundamental, like a man who will just never be comfortable in a suit and tie no matter how good he looks in it.