Hi
Well i tried anal with my other half yesterday, we've used a small butt plug before without even a slight problem but when he tried to enter me last night he got a tiny bit in and the pain was really bad i thought he'd ripped me open or something! Im probably being a wuss but it did flipping hurt.
Any advice on how to make it easier please, are there any good toys to get me used to something big? we'd used quite a bit of anal lube.
Thanks
LOTS of lube, and graduating but plugs can help too - start small and work your way up.
Theres also the option of desensitising creams, but if you go that route just be careful to still go easy and slow, even if the pain is numbed.
Oh, and welcome btw :-D x
Welcome sweetie!
Kitty McPlunder mentioned desensitising creams - I must admit I'm quite a fan of these, but you MUST be careful. Go slow and gentle, rectal tissue is much more fragile than vaginal tissue, and you don't want to run the risk of injuring yourself internally and not realising because you're numb!
I found that getting the head in was the worst part by far. Once he gets it a little way in - STOP! Tell him not to move a millimetre! It's a sort of burning, stretching sensation. Once that feeling becomes bearable, he can gently nudge it in another centimetre or so. Just keep stopping and letting your body adjust to this new concept.
The most important thing by far is STAY IN CONTROL. Don't let him be in charge of the thrusting. Slowly back onto him yourself at your own pace. It's your ass, you say what and when!
Relax - if it's just not happening, leave it and try again some other time. It took me a lot of attempts to have anal sex comfortably and pleasurably, but practice makes perfect! Have fun!
BLC <3
When we were new to it i used to experience the same pain on entry. It was fine when he was inside, but couldn't thrust in and out as it would just keep hurting on the 'in' part.
I think the trick was for me was just to completly relax, i would try not to think of him trying to get in my ass and breath really deeply and slowly. When he's in it felt much better and just did slow thrusting which was amazing. I love it slow and gentle in my butt unless im utterly horny and ask him to do me harder.
Anal doesn't have to be rough like you see in films, slow can be emensly satisfying too :)
Might be worth a forum search! I imagine there are loads of answers on this.
I dont have much advice as my experiences have been mixed. The first time with my OH I needed to use the safe word (good idea) stright away but the second time, I found I didnt hurt at all and had an amazing orgasm with it. The 3rd time I was sore again and couldnt handle it.
Then we tried yesterday and it took time but it was very pleasurable and I came but as soon as I did the pain started and he had to stop.
I do think it must be in the mind and how you feel about the experience at the specfic time. It takes some getting used too and even then can be iffy. This may sound too OTT but I aculty think the last time you went to the loo has something to do with it but that just be my experience as I can sometimes go 5 days without going etc.
Sorry to hi-jack the thread but I dont wanna get shouted at for starting another lol but does anyone know why the last time when it was fine at the start but once I came it started hurting? Im thinking it may of been the contractions but it is confussing.
I'm not sure why it would've hurt like that but I do find that excitement stops the pain a bit. Like you can't feel someone scratching you at the time but then later it hurts like hell!
hornyteen wrote:
This may sound too OTT but I aculty think the last time you went to the loo has something to do with it but that just be my experience as I can sometimes go 5 days without going etc.
I'm totally with you on that one. I've found it certainly makes a difference to how comfortable you feel but I guess it's different for everyone.
I find I'm different each time too. I think you just have to go with the flow and if it doesn't feel right at the time, don't do it. It took me and my then boyfriend quite a few goes to get this right and the key for me was being with someone I trusted and didn't have to feel embarrassed around. And I wasn't afraid to say no. My boyfriend knew that if he wanted it to be good then he'd have to wait for it to be right so it was ok. It was awesome when it finally happened but then it wasn't the same every time after that.
Being able to laugh together helps with relaxing as well I found. It's something that can have a funny side too! But mainly I'd say don't force it if you're not happy with it. It should be enjoyable for both of you.
Oh and I'd say ALWAYS use a condom. A good thick one. Takes away some of the worry and helps against rubbing etc. and nasty aftermath. And you can use a water-based lube with it which helps.
Yeah I think you may be right. Like I was so focused on my pleasure the pain was able to translate over to pleasure but once this was over, it was just pain. Just didnt associate it until you said lol. Thanks
Hi and welcome to the OA.
There is loads of advice on the forums on this. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/anal-sex-toys/362-anal-sex-for-beginners-any-advice/ You could try that for starters. x
we both recieve anal sex both me and the missus both find it immensly pleasureable i have no problem with pain anymore because im always horny 4 it and use a lube that dosnt give me any problems the missus on the other hand has found that using a vibrator on her clit helps her calm down and relax a lot more and enjoy it a lot more so my advise is plenty of lube i suggest lubrifist and using a vibrator on clit and start slow and work your way up fingers to start then maybe toys i find glass works best because its more slick and stays slippery
above all go slow and enjoyit