hi im kerry, im new to lovehoney and interested in trying new things, i have a friend n were intrested in anal but i find it hurts to much for anything more than his finger but i love that, can anyone offer some ideas as id love to take it further and so would he.
You will find loads of threads on this if you do a search.
Briefly though, lots of lube, take it slowly, relax and enjoy.
Good luck x
Hello and welcome :)
to lovingnewtoys thanks i will have a look hope it goes well 😉
Hi Kerry, welcome.
I love anal sex and started with enjoying tongue/finger, for me the key I learned was patience, preparation (douche), lube (quality anal) and I use an anal relaxant (loads on lovehoney with really great reviews to help you choose).
Lots of anal foreplay along with clit/vaginal foreplay mixed in. I also sometimes like to wear a butt plug to help relax! It's all about being comfortable with what you are doing/feeling, taking it slow, using loads of lube and feeling what you enjoy! It took lots of trial and error with me and OH to find what worked for us, but it was fun along the way!
There are a few other threads re this that you might find helpful!
Lilmiss x
I think the reason its hurting is because you're expecting it too, so you're tensing up. Try playing on your own a few times. Get yourself comfy somewhere where you know you wont be disturbed. Just use your fingers and plenty of lube to start with. Lying on your side with your knees pulled up towards your chin is a good position. Once you get used to the sensation, teach yourself to relax, that way when you progress to toys etc you'll be aware of your body and how to relax your muscles.
Its best to work your way up slowly, starting with smallish plugs, probes etc. Here are a few examples that would be ideal for a beginner.....
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16749
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8649
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12174
Once ypou are comfortable with small toys you can progress onto someting a little bigger.....
A kit can also be a good idea as they contain toys of varying size ....
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30367
This is an excellent one....you even get some lube included so you dont have to buy that separately. Just remember, teach yourself to relax and take things slowly to start with xx
I second what Terri says, try playing with yourself so you get more used to how it feels etc, then ask your partner to come and help you?
hi and welcome i am also finding out new ways of tryining anal and i have found that straight after the shower and with alot of lube mainly a good water based one will help and just being easy with the approche x
thanks everyone will try some of these ideas hopefully itll get us somewhere ;)
We are in the same boat as you shadow007. My Partner and I have tried Anal 3 times now, in our 6 years of being together, and each time I haven't been able to get my dick any further than the an inch inside her. She loves my findger inside her, especially with another couple inside her pussy while I lick her clit; she even loves one of the toys we have inside her arse, but I just cannot get my dick inside without her being in a lot of pain. We have the best Anal lube on the market too, and we really want to make this work, but we are really struggling.
I have quite a lot of girth on my dick which really doesn't help. We talk about trying it all the time now, but unless we can find some sort of miracle: "do this and your arsehole will be wide enough to fit my dick", i don't see it ever happening for us.
By the way, if anyone could enlighten me. Can Anal sex be more pleasurble for my fiancee than Vaginal sex? I have always wondered, I am able to give her multiple vaginal orgasms more often than not; can a girl orgams through Anal sex, and if so, is it easier, more pleasurable or intense, and are Anal orgasms any different.
Thanks.
Welcome to the forums Shadow007 :)
Terri JJ is our unofficial anal expert here, take her advice- she won't steer you wrong!
Slyx wrote:
We are in the same boat as you shadow007. My Partner and I have tried Anal 3 times now, in our 6 years of being together, and each time I haven't been able to get my dick any further than the an inch inside her. She loves my findger inside her, especially with another couple inside her pussy while I lick her clit; she even loves one of the toys we have inside her arse, but I just cannot get my dick inside without her being in a lot of pain. We have the best Anal lube on the market too, and we really want to make this work, but we are really struggling.
I have quite a lot of girth on my dick which really doesn't help. We talk about trying it all the time now, but unless we can find some sort of miracle: "do this and your arsehole will be wide enough to fit my dick", i don't see it ever happening for us.
By the way, if anyone could enlighten me. Can Anal sex be more pleasurble for my fiancee than Vaginal sex? I have always wondered, I am able to give her multiple vaginal orgasms more often than not; can a girl orgams through Anal sex, and if so, is it easier, more pleasurable or intense, and are Anal orgasms any different.
Thanks.
Hi and welcome to the forums x
I prefer anal sex to vaginal. Its more comfortable for me and I crave the full, stretched feeling that anal gives...I adore dp too. I can orgasm really easily anyway through most things but anal drives me wild and my anal orgasms are so intense.
If you're girthy but your oh likes and can manage a finger then I suggest you buy a butt plug set ...we have this and its great....
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
That way you can start off with smallest plug and work your way up. A jump from just a finger to a girthy penis is quite substantial...stepping up gradually should work better for you both xx
A few tips from me...
Anal sex and anal play in general can be totally amazing, but you do need to take utmost care as it is a delicate and sensitive area.
In order to have the best experience, you need to make sure that you are totally relaxed and aroused before engaging. Do whatever it takes to get you relaxed and aroused. Whether it's taking a long, steamy shower/bath or a full body massage... a cup of chamomile tea... whatever - just make sure you are relaxed and take your time!
Using LOTS of lube, especially a lube designed for anal (as it's usually thicker and lasts a bit longer than regular water-based lube) is important too! Start with just fingers and take it slow. Have your partner stimulate you in other ways as well (playing with nipples etc). Just make sure you are paying attention to how your body is reacting. Any pain, stop. Ease off and go even slower.
When you want to move up, you can certainly look towards beginners plugs that again, you can wear during regular sex just help you get used to having something there, or even just when you are playing around solo. Just remember again, lots of lube and take it slow. It's not a race!
When you think you might be ready to give it a try with a dildo penis - there are a couple of positions that will be beneficial to you. Firstly, on your side with your knees up to your chest helps align everything and makes insertion much easier - however, if your partner is penetrating, you don't have as much control over depth (using toys is different). I found that my best experiences when I was still new to anal was the on top position. I could control how deep they went, I could clamp their legs together using my thighs, which again limited their thrusting, meaning I stayed in control at all times, and I could raise/lower myself to allow as much/as little penetration as I was comfortable with.
With anything, it's a little bit of give and take. Don't let them rush you, take it nice and slow, relax your mind as well as your body but most importantly - have fun with it.
I love anal but I haven't always, it took a while to get to the point where I will initiate it! Position helps-she could straddle you and control depth etc. I would also try going in a little, stopping but staying in, then a little further, stop again etc. Once the sphincter is stretched it shouldn't be painful x
Also I hate lube for anal I find it stings! I much prefer if I'm aroused enough vaginally to use that to lubricate him iyswim (sorry if tmi)
Good luck xx
blu2 wrote:
I love anal but I haven't always, it took a while to get to the point where I will initiate it! Position helps-she could straddle you and control depth etc. I would also try going in a little, stopping but staying in, then a little further, stop again etc. Once the sphincter is stretched it shouldn't be painful x
Also I hate lube for anal I find it stings! I much prefer if I'm aroused enough vaginally to use that to lubricate him iyswim (sorry if tmi)
Good luck xx
If it stings try a oil based lube not water or maybe silicone, either will be hard to get out of the sheets so bare that in mind,,
Terri JJ wrote:
Hi and welcome to the forums x
I prefer anal sex to vaginal. Its more comfortable for me and I crave the full, stretched feeling that anal gives...I adore dp too. I can orgasm really easily anyway through most things but anal drives me wild and my anal orgasms are so intense.
If you're girthy but your oh likes and can manage a finger then I suggest you buy a butt plug set ...we have this and its great....
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
That way you can start off with smallest plug and work your way up. A jump from just a finger to a girthy penis is quite substantial...stepping up gradually should work better for you both xx
Hi, Thanks Terri JJ
That sounds like sound advice. I met my partner when I was 21 and still a Virgin. She was 19 and had 2 previous relationships behind her, totalling 3 years. Both of her ex-boyfriends had much smaller dicks than me. She actually had Anal sex with her first partner as he was overly insistant on it, but he had, in her words, "a penis penis", extremely thin and only about 4 and a half inches long.
Being a virgin before I met my OH, I had no idea how big my dick was relatively speaking... everyone talks about length, and I knew I was above average there with a 7.5 inch dick, but guys never talk about girth; I always thought I was average. But my OH says I have a very big dick.
I measured my girth and its 6.4 inches, which is almost 2 inches thicker than the UK average according to the NHS website which places it at 4.7 inches on average, with the average UK Length at 5.5 Inches.
With my dick being that thick, do you think it will ever be possible for my partner to ever enjoy Anal sex with me. Don't get me wrong, its not like I am gagging to have Anal sex. I can only enjoy sexual acts with my partner if she is enjoying them too. I am not the sort of guy who would have Anal sex with my OH if she offered to bite her lip and let me do it to her, just to make me happy. We both really want to make it work though some how, because we do pretty much everything else. We are extremely open minded when it comes to sex, and we will give anything a try once (we love watersports for example); but we really want to add Anal to our box of tricks.
Would you suggest perhaps that we buy a thinner penis replica dildo? One that has a smaller girth of perhaps 4 inches and use that to enjoy DP, where I have vaginal sex with her, while I use the dildo inside her Arse? Because I would still be happy to never actually have Anal sex with her myself, because her pussy is incredibly tight, and my dick is incredibly thick anyway, that Vaginal sex feels just as tight as Anal sex does for most guys, so I don't need to have Anal sex myself for that extra pleasure it is supposed to give guys. I want to give her Anal sex for the different levels of pleasure it will provide her, and the new realms of possibiliies Anal sex will open up to us.
Are there any Thinner Penis Replica Dildo's you would reccommend?
I tried using that highly reccommended 'Clone your Penis' Molding kit on here, but where my penis is long, thick, and bends upwards towards me like a Banana, My penis would always tough the sides of the plastic thing your pour the plaster into, and made a hole in the mold every single time, so we gave up on that. The bonus to my banana shaped dick though, is it is aparently extra pleasurable for my OH because it bends upwards, it pushes and rubs against her G-Spot naturally when we have sex, making it extremely easy for me to give her Vaginal Orgasms.
I love anal and double penitration for me feels awesome I started with incredible pain when a ex decided to just stick it in yes just stick it in no lube no build up to totally had no idea what was coming and duck the pain I felt left me in agony and tears. Never wanted to go there again. But a few sexual partners later and one i trusted wanted to try I had cold shivers explained my experience. We talked and decided to give it ago knowing fully this would be different lots of lube very slow and only with a finger then built up from there.
being fully relaxed is the best feeling and only way to have anal like others said slowly will win this one. Use vibration around ass hole while reviving oral i found this made me want to take more and I'd find my self opening wanting insertion try with a small bullet first build up to plug increase in size the more you get use to it the more you will want.
For me it took several time sticking it same place before moving to next bigger thing i stay using a vibrating plugs for about a month b4 moving on. Maybe invest in a training kit .
I've never used one but u can get inflatable ones not sure if you can train with them increasing how big you pump it???
I actually prefer my husband in me to toys as a natural feel and natural give makes it more comfortable than a solid toy with no give what's so ever but that's me I would think any one that can take toys would be able to adjust to a real dick even if big as stated above. Good luck no rush
Yes...there's no reason why you and your partner should not be able to enjoy anal sex....if you BOTH want too. I can take larger toys anally than I can vaginally.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22814
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14152
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072
Something around the size of these would be a good idea. They not as thick as you xx
It took 20+ years to go from something the size of a finger to bigger than a fist, long gradual tapered plugs are the best for moving up in size, just listen to your body, as above I found it better to push in the larger plug then out and relax for a bit, eventually it will slide in no issues and after a while you may think "I can go bigger" thats how I got so big.
I also found it better to sit on it rather than someone else "helping" to start with as you can feel how you're doing.