My OH has been interested in anal sex the whole time we've been together (17 years) and we have only tried once which ended up a hideous, painful experience for me after which it has always been a no-no for me, and I mean total no-no.
However, as part of my "approaching 40" be adventurous and try new things I am considering the possibility of it. We were chatting last night and he is delighted that I am entertaining the possibility, and this is where I would like to ask for help. Basically I don't have a clue about how to proceed , I know that there has to be a preparation phase - I am just really concerned. Is there any advice that you could give about how to introduce it in a way that would get me used to the idea before embarking on full-fledged anal sex? If my OH had his way, he'd just go for it straight away....
the other evening in bed when down on me, he was rubbing my anus with his finger and the sensation was (surprisingly) quite a turn on..
take it really slow and use lube. over time it will be more enjoyable and less painfull. Try and relax, If you put a finger in squeeze your anal muscles as hard as you can. when you relax put another finger in and do the same. this will wear out the muscles and hopefully make it easier to insert :)
I would probably say get a butt plug. You can never have enough sex toys. If you start with a small one then start using bigger ones. Your ass will be able to take things more easily over time. also leaves you hands free for anything else you want to do.
take it really slow and use lube. over time it will be more enjoyable and less painfull. Try and relax, If you put a finger in squeeze your anal muscles as hard as you can. when you relax put another finger in and do the same. this will wear out the muscles and hopefully make it easier to insert :)
You don't want the muscles to 'wear out' just become a little more flexible. Think of anal as being akin to gymnastics and start off slowly. Too much too soon will result in injury.
Thanks for the advice folks. Have taken the plunge, as it were, and ordered the Tracey Cox beginners kit. Read the reviews also of the advanced kit as saw that some people had bought those as starter kits but when I watched the video presenting them I was, quite frankly, shocked at the size of the bloody things...
I spoke to my oh about it and basically informed him that this would be the only way to embark upon that path - don't want to rush in - it's only taken me 16 years to get round to the idea of contemplating anal sex after his traumatising first attempt. He is so turned on by it as he feels it is the only thing that we have not yet really tried. So plug ordered, no turning back now
I would not recommend a butt plug to start off as they can often sit uncomftable and the tapered and wider end is unsuitable for lots of anal play. I would recommend a very slim anal dildo.
I think you should go for it with the toy. You enjoyed the sensaton with the fingers so the plug would be the next step up to preparing you for the full on sex if you are worried about the pain!
It will hurt a little bit but lube is key like everyone has said!
I started out being worried and scared of the pain but now I have got to the point where I prefer anal to normal sex! Using a toy on the clit definitely helps too!
My OH has been interested in anal sex the whole time we've been together (17 years) and we have only tried once which ended up a hideous, painful experience for me after which it has always been a no-no for me, and I mean total no-no.
However, as part of my "approaching 40" be adventurous and try new things I am considering the possibility of it. We were chatting last night and he is delighted that I am entertaining the possibility, and this is where I would like to ask for help. Basically I don't have a clue about how to proceed , I know that there has to be a preparation phase - I am just really concerned. Is there any advice that you could give about how to introduce it in a way that would get me used to the idea before embarking on full-fledged anal sex? If my OH had his way, he'd just go for it straight away....
the other evening in bed when down on me, he was rubbing my anus with his finger and the sensation was (surprisingly) quite a turn on..
thanks in advance for any help
Hi Lulu,
I would definitely recommend spending some time reading through old threads on this subject and the "five easy steps" blog, there's a lot of good advice here on getting started, hygiene worries and so on. Also the Ann Adriane "How to sex guide" site on my profile page has an excellent section on anal.
I think it is really important to take your time, don't go rushing straight into full intercourse, there's a lot of enjoyment to be had en route to that. Get in touch with your own body, spend some time exploring and finding out what you enjoy. You might enjoy using beads or a slim anal vibe/dildo, the choice of toy is really down to personal taste. It is also a good idea to try penetrating yourself with a finger because you can sense the muscles tensing and relaxing and get used to the feeling.
This is something that will only work if it is truly enjoyable for you; that will probably take time, and your fella needs to understand that. Always use lots of good lube, and have fun
, I know that there has to be a preparation phase - I am just really concerned. Is there any advice that you could give about how to introduce it in a way that would get me used to the idea before embarking on full-fledged anal sex? If my OH had his way, he'd just go for it straight away.... 