I've plucked up the courage to post and will keep it short and sweet.
I'm 21 and have been with my partner for 2 and a half years.
Sex is fantastic he is very attentive, there is just one problem, I can't seem to get wet.
When we first met I used to get extremely wet which he loved, then all of a sudden...nothing.
Even when foreplay lasts for ages and I'm really turned on...still nothing.
I don't want to have to use lube all the time i'm 21 :s I should be able to lube myself I feel slightly ashamed and my partner also feels bad as he feels he doesn't turn me on any more.
So my question is, has anyone experienced anything like this and if so how did you combat the problem?
Is this something that is perhaps affected by diet or birth control?
firstly theres nothing wrong with using lube! lube can add extra to a play session or can be really helpful
eating a healthy diet will most likley help, and is good generally.
Is there any stress or anyhting affeting you which this could be the result of? eve the strangest things can have a knock on effect with libido and sex.
birth control can affect vaginal dryness, and its probably best you discussed thismatter with your doctor. your doctor can also help investigate if there could be some other medical reason behind this.
a search for other topics can help as well. just type some terms into the box at the top of the screen
It could be birth control, it could be hormones, it could be a number of things. I wont go into detail because SL already has.
As she said though, there's nothing wrong with using lube! I used to get really wet too but I find I don't ask much now too. I often find that using a bit of lube to start things off can really help. It can feel a bit rough if I'm not wet, so I sort of have to be wet to get wet, if you know what I mean. Using lube can get the ball rolling.
Wetness also varies from person to person and quite often has nothing to do with age.
Hi you have been given good advice by Sweetlove and Ecksvie. Have you been to see your GP? It's probably nothing but it might be worth getting checked out! I use lube and enjoy trying out different ones, i have my favorites but still like to try new ones. Do you have any wetness when you are not having sex? Or are you dry all the time?
try talking to ur gp about your birth controll. i had a pill that made me come on for 3 weeks out of 4. did not feel sexy and my OH wasnt particulay thrilled. i mean he did fuck me during but its not as nice as clean sex is it. as every 1 said there could be a number of reasons but i would start with your birth control.
I'm always too dry for sex - we have to use lube every time. I'm 19 and it's been that way for most of my sex life. It's not a problem at all! My OH has come to terms with the fact that it's not a sign of not being horny at all - he uses the size of my clit and lips to identify instead of wetness. So please don't worry if this turns out to be something that continues - there are ways around it and lube is a fantastic addition to sex! You can even get lubes that mimic natural wetness, for us it's habit now to just keep a towel by the bed and reach for the lube every time.
As for causes - hormones and birth control can cause dryness. For me, it's my pill. If it's a new "symptom" and you really *never* get wet with no amount of relaxation or increasing foreplay, you should see your GP about what's causing this! your GP will investigate possible causes and may refer you to a gynae or possibly even a sexual therapist if he/she suspects a mental barrier to getting wet (sometimes no matter how relaxed we think we are, we just aren't relaxed enough especially when sex with your partner is no longer "new" and that doesn't mean your sex life is any worse, just different so your body responds differently). If your GP gives a similar response to "and what? there's always variation between women" then stress that this is a new thing and make them take notice to you! Stress that its affecting your sex life.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on - if you want to like!
I find that the more often I play or have sex, the less wet I get no matter how turned on I am.
It just seem to 'run out' haha.
I'm going to be awkward and say I wouldn't bother going to see your GP unless it's actually uncomfortable for you. I doubt they could tell you why it's happened or that they could give you a better option than lube. That's just my opinion though - don't take my word for it.
As an alternative to lube you could suggest (with naughty, pleading eyes of course) that you'd really like it if he'd use his tongue 'down there' to make you nice and slippery ;) Not only would it get you ready to go but he would be reassured that you want him and he DOES turn you on.
Thanks for all the advice guys, it's really appreciated.
I'm starting a healthy eating diet as of tomorrow so I'll see if that helps, I'll research any foods known to be natural aphrodisiacs but I'm also going to speak to my GP.
I know there's nothing wrong with using lube I even enjoy it's the fact that I have to rely on it that puts me off. It's highly embarrassing if you fancy a quickie in the car etc etc.
plus I just realised I don't even get wet when I'm having sex on my own o_0
As my lovely AdnaW said don't worry... you can get little sachets of lube you could keep in your bag (carefully!) if you're that into random quickies if not then just make it part of sex.
I only find it annoying because I hate having sticky hands! Just make sure you're partner understands and that should take some pressure of both of you.
The best advice given was go to a GP if it does concern you, if it is due to birth control maybe another pill or method might be better.
Time does probably also play a part, I think we get desensitised when we're spoilt! Two years of great sex with a partner probably leaves your body a little lazy and expecting good sex without much effort, spending more time together or having a busier life might mean every time you see each other isn't as physically intense.
since ive been on my pill im always to dry and need lube, im really really turned on but still to dry for sex. we just add lube as part of the forplay now.
its not really a chore and for me is something i cant put up with if it means im protected against pregnacy and not having periods anymore (side effect of my pill).
Ditto, GP comments. You may have a slight case of thrush and not know it. Also a great thing for them to know if you're on or considering the pill or any form of medication. I'm on painkillers for the moment and I swear I'm this close to sand pouring out of my knicker region.
Lube is no shamful thing! In fact I would strongly recommend it to anyone, even if they're getting wet. I normally get extremely wet down below but the benefits of a silicone based lube still blows my mind. Sliquid and Liquid Silk reign supreme. In fact most of the lubes on LH are stylish, yummy and fab. I always find the stuff in the shops makes people feel like lube is only for post-menapausal women and it's not very attractive.
Hope you have a personal MOT and we hear from you soon.