Me and my partner have been experimenting a with particuarly crude objects of recent years, mostly wax impressions and soap bottles :P Have had some good times and well, bad also haha. So just looking for some advice to real anal play (as really we are 19 and 21 and have noone else to ask :P) Since recently we have been including anal in more regular sessions rather than just something kinky to do every once in a while
So do please forgive us if we ask some well known questions ;)
Firstly, is there anyway to reduce the 'after' pain which can take maybe 2-4 hours to recede after anal play. For us we are currently using ID glide and so entry and the session are comfortable but the biggest thing putting us both off are the pains afterwards which are not incredible but can make it hard to sleep/ relax for some time.
Secondly, what is the strongest numbing lubricant on the market ( or even on this website) as currently we have none/ not tried any.
And lastly, how long to you guys take to loosen up before play. We have been used to it for a few years and so we only take 10 minute ( we tend to believe if there is no pain or discomfort initially then that isslow enough). Though, quite honestly we have no idea how it 'should' be done or what is the proper ammount of time one should take..?
Any other further advice, we will be happy to respond and answer any questions you guys have; thx for the help :)
Hello. =) There are a good few threads on anal hanging about already so the search function may be a good place to look just to get the full depth of info.
First thing I would suggest is to dump using the improvised opjects if you haven't already and invest in some good safe toys. It's a lot better for your health, trust me. =)
Numbing lubes really aren't a good idea. Pain is a sign that something is irritating or potentially dangerous and masking the pain doesn't get rid of that irritation. In fact, it can potentially lead to you or your partner not realizing when something has gone too far and be even more dangerous. The back passage is a very delicate place and it can be extremely easy for it to be torn if you are too rough. It's perfectly possible to have healthy, safe and fun anal sex, after all people on here have been going it themselves for years, but one of the ways of being safe is to listen to your body. Pain is one of the things you need to listen for.
If you are given enough time to relax and enter without causing any discomfort then you are probably relaxed enough. Any after pain could be caused by a good many things and it may be a good idea for her to get checked out by a gp or health care provider just to make sure she doesn't have any sort of issue with her digestive system if she is getting consistant pain.
Personally, to me it seems as if you are maybe being a bit too rough and not using enough good quality, thick lube suitable for anal play. When you are going at it, it can be very easy to discomfort to be masked by the enjoyment of the act and it isn't untill you begin to come down you notice the ouchies.
For anal, you really should be nearly drentched in lube to be really comfortable. If you are worried about mess then it may be good to put a towel down or somesuch. Any time you feel like you may be drying, reactivate with a bit of water if it's water based or reapply more lube.
Perhaps you could try having very gentle, slow, relaxed anal next time just to see if the pain may be caused by rough thrusting or there is something with her bowel that resents being disturbed?
I think your right and we are definately taking things too fast and rushed when its something to be eased into. gunna look into some quality lubes and just slow down generally. By looking at the forums i dont think i will buy that anal ease stuff, seems a bit dangerous lol. Thx again, Salute !S
When it concerns toys, keep it small for the beginning, if pain is an issue then maybe you're rushing into it a wee bit. Using lube ALWAYS helps, but sometimes we use a condom as well. It's because my boyfriends penis is quite shapely and the lumps and bumps can hurt my insides a bit, it also 'glides' alot easier with a condom, reducing pain factor :)
About the numbing lube, I agree with Pixieking, maybe it wouldn't be best in case of health matters. But also, with time comes practice and it wont hurt so much and becomes more of a pleasure than a pain. There are a ton of nerve ending in there, so the pleasure can almost be too intense. to numb that, seems a bit of a shame really lol.
And before play, we'll there isn't a designated 'amount of time' needed to loosen up. Everyone is different. Me and my OH like to take our time, nothing rushed, almost so that it becomes very romantice and sensual.
I agree totally with Pixieking and Haywire, the more foreplay the better. In fact the foreplay and the anticipation can be at least as pleasurable as the actual full penetration.
Ideally you should not feel any pain afterwards, but rather a warm healthy glow as your body relaxes, so steer clear of diy objects, use proper lube, go slowly and very gently, and have fun :-)
I would definitely NOT use any de-sensitizing products as this can lead to more damage occuring.
One of the problems with anal is that you are only partially in control of the anus so there is a knack to relaxing it - rather like being able to wiggle your ears 8-)=. And just as looking in a mirror gives you the feedback needed to learn to wiggle your ears, inserting a butt-plug or dildo into yourself allows you to feel when you are getting the relaxation thing right. Even when you think you have the relaxation thing cracked it's a good idea to insert a dildo a few times as part of your clean and lube preparation for anal just to re-educate your mind and muscles what they have to do to let something slip in without pain. I have never had any pain after anal (just a rather pleasant sensation of having received a serious sorting) so after pain is certainly not an essential part of the deal.
Even though I didn't ask this question, I've found it very useful. Thanks everyone!
This is sort of one of those taboo subjects that you usually can't ask people face to face for fear of their reaction. I tried anal just the once, by accident actually, and it hurt like crazy. We then tried it again and it wasn't so bad. But it's been over a year now and I've been thinking that maybe I should try again. The orgasm I had was so intense, seems a shame that I've shunned it.
Thanks for this advice n_n
I shall hopefully be investing in a toy for practice as currently I only have a small butt plug and a large rabbit. There's no inbetweeny toy.