Ok, so me and the boyfriend are going to try anal. And I've been impressed by the reviews of the desensitisers. Wow. Never even knew they existed, I'm learning a lot!
I've tried it before and always been in pain, stopping before we got, started, so this sounds good to me, but I keep reading they are not a lube and to use one as well.
So my questions is, what one goes on first? How and where!? As much graphic detail as you can please, this isn't really something I want to get wrong!
Honestly I would look at training yourself to be able to enjoy Anal sex without needing it.
The problem with desensitizers is that if you you use it to ignore the pain then you could actually cuase yourself some damage and not realise it.
You say you tried before but did you go to try full on penetrative sex straight away? If so what I would suggest is starting smaller and gradually working your way up to full penetration. Start with a finger and some lube, then buy a small butt plug. Slowly increase the size of the butt plug and try something like the beginners prober http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2041
Once you've got used to these and can experience them pleasurably I would say get a larger size butt plug and use that before then going for full penetration.
Yes it's a longer process but you'll be glad you did it and went through the pleasurable route to anal sex rather than trying to jump the gun as it were and maybe cause yourself some damage. Afterall your body is telling you it hurts for a reason. Making sure your OH stops as soon as you feel any discomfort is essential, fool around a little more, try some clitoral stimulation to relax you again before resuming but make sure he stops everytime you feel discomfort or you'll start to associate anal with pain.
Thanks for the speedy reply! We've conquered fingers and butt plugs, anal vibes etc. but this is the one time him being well endowed is not going down too well, so I need a bit of a helping hand!
i really, really do not recommend desensitisers, as said above they merely numb and as such can lead people to take things too fast and cause damage.
I'd recommend a really good lube and some patience. Sliquid Sassy or Maximus are great as for lubes.
My other tip is this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22772. My partner and I (he's rather girthy) have had great sucess with me wearing a vibrating butt plug while being vaginally penetrated, then when we're ready for some backdoor action, slip the plug out and we find he can fit easier, more comfortably, and be somewhat more vigourous in sex than if we hadn't used one.
Agree with the other members here, desensitisers sound good but if anal sex is done right it shouldn't hurt :) Using this desensitisers and going "gung ho" at anal can cause alot of damage, listen to your body.
When I've been super good or it's my birthday (whichever comes first lol) the wife and I take a long time preparing for anal, but it sounds like you've been preparing ;) basically yourself and your fella need to get a decent lube, Maximus is fantastic btw! Just have fun and relax and take it super slow and lots upon lots of lube, my wife tells me to enter her just slightly and stopping so her anus muscles get used to my penis there then when she is comfortable, I slide in a bit more, it does take time and paitence, once fully in I have to move very slowly then build up speed ;)
Not sure if stating the obvious or not but try making sure you have an orgasm already before you attempt anal penetration. Your body will be much more relaxed than it was before.