Has anyone used any type of desensitising lube?
I was never really fussed on anal sex, but a guy I was seeing recently loved it.. and to be honest it was the pain that put me off, cos once we'd got into it i loved it.. but rarely got that far because of the pain..
Does the stuff work? Is it worth getting, or should i just keep trying to relax more and take my time with the whole thing?
noooooooooooooo don't do it, pain is a way of your body telling you to slow down or stop
desinsitising stuff masks this pain and you could do yourself some damage
just use lots of lube, take it slow and work your way up to it
Thanks guys :)
Id guessed as much judging by some things id read, but waned to get some personal opinions :)
Ill go back to the old fashion way of plenty of lube and plenty of time!
hey vixenvic.
im pretty much in the same boat as you so its saved me asking the question! thanx!
but just following on from this (thanks to ork for the informative thread) what happens when your partner is rather well equipt (as mine is) and no matter how much lube, time or relaxing you have it still bloody hurts??
belive me i trust him and we have been attempting/practising very gently and slowly for a good 5-6months now but it never seems to get any easier, any advice or tips for the two new vixens??
xx
Even have similar names redvixen :)
Thats how i feel.. that no matter how much practise or trust there is, that is just isnt happening lol..
x
Hi..... ok well anal sex can be amazing but never start with inserting your partner, no matter how much lube you use or how slowly you take it. I needed to train myself and strated off by buying a pack of 3 dildos http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9644. I chose these as my main aim was to take my partner and since each one looked exactly like a penis (apart from the colour obviously) these seemed perfect.
Now the smallest is only 3.5 inches and with a decent amount of lube and making sure I was very relaxed it was a supprise that I was able to take it easily. Infact I decided to try the next size up straight away but this wasnt easy at all so kept with the smallest and due to the way its made I wore it for a bit and before trying the next size up. Over a period of say a few weeks I started off with the smallest and gradually made my way up to the largest and did this before I tried anal sex with my partner so my muscles were nice and relaxed and anal sex wasnt painful at all. A little odd and uncomfortable maybe but that was due to not being used to the thrusting movements but that soon went away and I began to enjoy the experiance. It did take a few times though for me to achieve an orgasm but I will say the closeness you feel with your partner is amazing.
I hope you dont give up and that this advice will help. Start small, sloww and gradually build up..... it is worth it but as mentioned before, if you feel pain..... stop.
Good luck
Xxx
One way to ensure that you have good anal sex is to never assume you can go from A to Z without passing through the rest of the alphabet. Take it slow, lots of lube, start with fingers, very gently massage and widen, more fingers added when it's comfortable. Circular motions are very good for this. Then if you need to work up to a toy, and from a toy, depending on how big your guy is, either another toy or the penis itself. Even then it might not be the end of the story. Insert slowly, and then when he's fully in and you're fully relax, build up to thrusting.
And you might have to do this routine every, single, time. If you experience any pain at any point, it means that you're either rushing or it's not your day and it's time to leave it for another time. It's true that some days might take less warm up than others, but it's worth assuming that you do need it.
Whenever I have heard people talking about pain, the number one reason is that their approach to anal sex is whacking on a bit of lube, maybe two seconds fingering and then the cock is shoved in and he thrusts away like a german shepherd.
also remember to always use a condom for anal sex and to never switch back to vaginal
Oooooooh, very good advice SL and forgotton to mention by us all...... =S
Malteser81 wrote:
Hi..... ok well anal sex can be amazing but never start with inserting your partner, no matter how much lube you use or how slowly you take it. I needed to train myself and strated off by buying a pack of 3 dildos http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9644. I chose these as my main aim was to take my partner and since each one looked exactly like a penis (apart from the colour obviously) these seemed perfect.
Now the smallest is only 3.5 inches and with a decent amount of lube and making sure I was very relaxed it was a supprise that I was able to take it easily. Infact I decided to try the next size up straight away but this wasnt easy at all so kept with the smallest and due to the way its made I wore it for a bit and before trying the next size up. Over a period of say a few weeks I started off with the smallest and gradually made my way up to the largest and did this before I tried anal sex with my partner so my muscles were nice and relaxed and anal sex wasnt painful at all. A little odd and uncomfortable maybe but that was due to not being used to the thrusting movements but that soon went away and I began to enjoy the experiance. It did take a few times though for me to achieve an orgasm but I will say the closeness you feel with your partner is amazing.
I hope you dont give up and that this advice will help. Start small, sloww and gradually build up..... it is worth it but as mentioned before, if you feel pain..... stop.
Good luck
Xxx
I agree whole heartedly with this, spot on advice Malteser81 
VixenVic wrote:
Has anyone used any type of desensitising lube?
I was never really fussed on anal sex, but a guy I was seeing recently loved it.. and to be honest it was the pain that put me off, cos once we'd got into it i loved it.. but rarely got that far because of the pain..
Does the stuff work? Is it worth getting, or should i just keep trying to relax more and take my time with the whole thing?
I have and it worked for me. It was one i bought from here. It numbed just a little, i could still feel pressure and a little pain but not as much as before.
Not everyone uses it but I have to, because my husband is big (girth) and its so painful without, even if we use lube and I am relaxed. That said, i cant remember the last time we tried it so maybe we need to do it more often so I can stretch a little.
I use the Pjur Back Door Lube, and it really works. I can suffer from piles from time to time, and the pain comes from them, but with a little lube and gently going to start I recomenetd he uses a finger or toy to start, Dont try go straight in there, after a moment the pain passes, and it starts to feel really good.
Its a small bottle, but I think its worth the money as it really works.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17606
Good Luck
thank you for the advice everyone, all will be taken on board!! xx
Yes :) thanks everyone!
x