Anal?

I have been dating my girl for 3 years and she has no interest in doing anal. This is something I 100% respect although I would love to try it with her. Recently I made a deal with her that I would use a butt plug during sex if she uses one which we did. Since then she has loved to use anal toys on me but is not interested in using them herself. How would y’all talk to your other to convince them to try anal while keeping it respectful?

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The more you bring it up, the more she is going to say no. Or worse, she’ll say yes just to shut you up (which isn’t really consent) and probably hate the experience because mentally she doesn’t want to do it and/or is assuming she won’t enjoy it.

The only thing you can really do is continue to explore anal play together with you receiving (if you are comfortable with that) and hope it makes her curious about using the toys herself

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will hopefully you both started with the smallest plug they have.
remember there’s a big difference between that little plug just sitting there
and a penis thrusting.
so my advice would be just you work yourself up to a bigger toy.
and maybe she will see how much pleasure it brings you.
and want to try it for herself

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I started down the “I’ll try it if you will” path with Mrs Sen in the hope that she took to it and that it would lead to anal too, but, even after a few years, there are times where she will happily entertain some anal play (butt plug and finger / tongue stimulation) but full on anal sex is still a step too far.

I don’t think you can convince someone, they either want to do it, or they don’t.

I don’t push Mrs Sen on it at all anymore and even butt plug usage has dropped right off for her. I continue to use and enjoy anal play on me and leave it at that.

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No means no!

Nuff said!

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I find with anything in the bedroom, if both of you aren’t excited to try it then its not going to live up to how you fantasise it will be.

Like others have said if you keen asking she might give in but then definitely won’t enjoy it.

It’s easy to get carried away seeing everyone enjoying it on this forum and knowing how much you enjoy it but you have to remember you had the desire to experiment and she hasn’t.

Maybe in time her desires will change but as she seems open with you I’m sure she will feel comfortable to ask

I’d say anal isn’t for everyone hence why in gay terms you get tops and bottoms as weirdly some people just aren’t made for enjoying it.
If your partner has tried but not found it her cuppa then I’d respect her decision and just enjoy all the bum fun yourself :slightly_smiling_face:

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So generally agree with all the comments on here. If she’s said no, then continuing to badger get about it won’t get you anywhere.

I will say though. My wife was exactly the same. Anal was not on the table. But over time she admitted liking rubbing her ass but not penetration. One day she pushed herself onto my finger as I was rubbing her and liked it but was still pretty adamant about no anal sex. So slipping a finger or thumb in started to become more regular. Until one day she asked for more. It was 7 years into our relationship before we had anal sex, then a gap of a year or so. Then twice in one night and she’s keen for more.

So in summary. It might still happen, but it’ll happen at her pace.

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Not anal… but we had this conversation in the office today. If my Husband even said “ah go on” or tried to persuade me to do something I had said no to previously I’d find it a massive turn off.
Amazed that several guys in my office said they will “nag” or ask several times before taking no for an answer. If I had to beg I’d rather not have it.

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Yeah if your partner says no, its a no. Even if they say they’ll think about it, just let them go at their pace.

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It’s marmite! Some woman like it, others don’t.

I tried it with my O/H (her 1st time) i stopped after a few mins as could tell she wasn’t enjoying it.
She doesn’t want to do it again and I respect that.

From experience, the woman that have enjoyed Anal are usually the ones that like being rimmed too.

She may change her mind as people’s desired and needs do change over time.
But it’s best to let that happen naturally and go with the flow because even if she did it just because you wanted her to - she wouldn’t enjoy it, she would be tense, so it would hurt and this would cause it to be a bad experience which she probably would never want to do again.

Instead - try small things, that may one day lead to anal eventually.
So sticking a finger in during foreplay or sex or how about rimming her - see how that goes first.