Sooo the last few days my already pretty bad anxiety has just gone through the roof, I don’t even really get why because honestly at the moment my life is brilliant I am in such a good place with personal confidence and just every day things are ok etc so I don’t get why the sudden increase in anxiety but it is getting so bad like I’m starting to get the whole feelings of “oh no one likes you why do you even bother” and “no one cares so why bother speaking about things” and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt like that, as much as even typing this my brain is again saying no one cares so why bother reaching out, I know it’s important to get it out there even if it’s just so it’s not building up inside me as much.
My SO is so supportive but at the moment we aren’t seeing each other as much because he’s having trouble with his son and long story short is going for full custody and is going through all sorts of assessments with his ex to prove he’s the better parent etc, so even when I do see him his minds pre occupied on that so I don’t want to offload onto him, and my family are the kind that don’t really believe in mental health so it’s pointless even going there. I’m not really sure why I’m writing all this I don’t want sympathy off anyone or anything I just want to get it all off my chest and hopefully someone has some words of advice on how to get myself out of this rut I’ve found my self in 😔😢
Bunnybomb Its good to off load if you cant tell anyone about how you feel its great to come online and just let it out, Hugs for you
Hope somone can come along and give you some good advice, have you ever thought about going to a anxiety forum as i'm sure there will be alot of people who have gone through it and came out the otherside so i'm sure they will have good sound advice.
I have epilepsy and i have joined forums when i'm down and it helps alot.
Doesn’t sound like you are getting any support from the people closest to you. No surprise that your struggling under the circumstances. Best thing you can do is to find ways to socialise meaningfully. Maybe consider volunteering at a care home. Even a couple hours a day sharing to someone about lighthearted things can be very effective. Also, and a big also, have a look at a book called the happiness advantage! It is not your typical self help, but it’s fairly profound and speaks to the exact issues your experiencing.
Thankyou guys, I don’t leave the house most days, not on my own anyways. I’m fine when I’m with my SO or other family members, but when it’s just me and the kids we don’t leave the house other than school runs which are a must. I went to the doctors years ago about this as it was something I’ve suffered with for quite some time and like you justhe2ofus, just wanted to put me on antidepressants which I did take at the time but they made me feel worse so I chucked them and never went back. My doctors are so patronising it puts me off going unless I feel as though I’m dying or something.
Maybe I should look online for anxiety forums, I’m usually able to pull myself out of it not 100% but to a point where I can get on with day to day activities and not feel like the world thinks I’m stupid and just doesn’t like me. But this time I’m struggling. I’m not sure whether it’s just lack of support this time or what but I hate putting on my SO especially with what he’s going through at the moment with his son.. obviously I can’t go into too much detail but it’s very serious. So as bad as I’m feeling, I just feel like I’m being selfish because I should just be dealing with this and being strong for my SO but it’s so damn hard 😔
Bunnybomb You are not being selfish i know he is going through a hard time but i'm sure he will be there for you if you need to talk, ever thought about sending him a email about how you are feeling that might be a good idea if you don't get to see him, so when he has the chance he can put his thoughts into writing back to you.
I know how you feel about the doctors, I was feeling like rubbish and i knew it was my tablets but no the neuro doctor was just brushing it off you are just depressed go back to your doctor, i saw three neuro doctors and the third one agreed to change my tablets, and it helped me alot just changing tablets.
I think I will try and send an email it’ll help because I’m struggling to get the words out when I do see him, also I feel like because we aren’t spending as much time together recently I don’t want to bring it up because of putting a downer on things.
Like today we had a day all to ourselves, well I say that it was me, him and my two daughters but we had like 7 hours together before he had to leave to go sort a few things again and it was lovely we both had such a good time and honestly we were both almost crying when it came time for him to shoot off because it’s the closest we have been in a few weeks. Like we are the kind of couple who usually do everything together, any spare time and it’s our time, we were best friends for 5 years before we got together and now it’s just even stronger the relationship is, so in a way I feel like I’ve lost my leg or something because he’s my SO but also my absolute best friend in the world and vice versa for him.
This is so tough on the both of us but especially him, and now my anxiety is just playing up and I don’t even know what to do this time my heads all over the place, I’m so thankful for my girls because if I didn’t have them I’d be rocking in a corner right now.. Thankyou for the supportive words everyone trust me when I say it is helping so incredibly much and your kindness is amazing right now. I’m going to look to see what charities there are around me and see if I can write an email to him with how I’m feeling.
Atleast that way it’s getting it out but not putting a downer on our time we do get together too much. I won’t really see him for another week now due to the circumstances, that’s what is so hard because I’m used to having him there every single day but because of traveling he is staying with his parents as it’s closer to where he needs to be right now. We call every night and day but I just feel lost without him here.
Hi Bunnybomb, I can't offer a great deal of advice on anxiety as it's not something I have suffered from. It's a shame that in 2018 people don't see mental health as something as important as physical health. I hope you start to feel better soon, one step at a time and if you can see a professional. I know they aren't fantastic at times but if you are persistent hopefully you will get the support you need.
Bunnyboo ; I am somewhat of an expert at dealing with anxiety . Had open heart surgery in 1962 and that started it when I was four years old . I was a volunteer firefighter , EMT and rescue diver through the police department . When I quit i had PTSD that was crippling me to thr point of losing 3/4” in hiegth in 5 months . Got clostraphobic in traffic and giant stadiums . Doctor put me on meds that helped a little , but left me hung over feeling . I found an inexpensive product that I have used for 30 years plus . If you do a search for success world , then look for stress and anxiety program . Dr David Eligg I think . Download used to be $20 US . Listen through stero earphones or buds . Cut back on caffine and sugar . Get a little exersize . Listen in a quiet room . Also recommend hebal tea , I found chamameal worked best for me . He will teach you breathing technics that you can use anytime . I am pulling for you ! When something is stressing you , ask yourself if there anything you can do to change it right now . If not , quit worrying about it . Good luck love .
Breathing exercises - simple and sounds like nothing, but they will affect your whole system.
Try breathing in to a count of 7 - feel it in your diaphragm - then breathe out to a count of 11. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Try breathing in, using your diaphragm, then breathe out making a haaaa sound, as if you were misting up a mirror.
Breathe in calm and relaxation, breathe out tension and anxiety. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Sense into your feet, do they feel similar to each other? Do they feel different? In what ways are they different? Once you have a clear sense of your feet, imagine you are growing roots down into the ground. Deep in the ground find an underground stream of calm. Breathe it back up through your feet.
Against a wall, or the end of your bed, or the sink . . . put one foot toe to wall. Have the other foot, toes forwards, a good step behind. Lean into your front foot, balancing with your hands, to stretch the calves of you back leg. Breathe in as you relax, breathe out as you stretch. Change legs. Repeat four times each side. This helps to release the stress hormones from your legs, which are primed for running away. If you can, run. Running will use up the stress hormones and help release anxiety.
Hope this helps!
And - thank you for sharing your feelings - always better out than in! Big hugs to you. Xx
Thankyou everyone I am so happy I posted on here I feel loads better after reading your comments and also reaching out and being honest with my SO. Although there is little that can be done to change our situation at the moment, I do feel loads better today after a good night sleep. I am taking on board what everyone has said and trying to put it into action today and already I am feeling 1000X better. Thankyou for all your kind words it’s helped me so much ❤️
I feel with most things like anxiety or depression etc it’s good to let some steam off and speak about it once in a while. So let it all go and be open and honest, whether that’s with yourself or others around you. Glad your feeling tons better today and hopefully this just gets better and better as the days go on! Proud of you for turning things upside down and taking control of the situation 🖤