This might be a bit long...
I am a 27 years old woman, French native, in a relationship since 2010. I am comfortable with my body, I find it easy to talk about sex, I don't have any specific taboos, and do love the thing.
My boyfriend however... Well, that's another story. If I was to describe him in a few words I would say he's like a sheepish girl in bed.
He has a very low sex drive, and by very low I mean that if I don't initiate we could probably go a whole month without sex. When we do have sex, it has to be in the total dark and in bed, under the duvet because he doesn't like his body. He isn't comfortable using toys with me, he isn't comfortable talking about sex with me, and everytime I try and initiate a conversation to see what is blocking him, he takes it very badly.
At the beginning of our relationship I felt very rejected as I would try and start some foreplay and he would say "I'm not in the mood" and stop it there. I don't feel so rejected anymore because I simply don't initiate as often anymore but I feel like my own sex drive, which used to be very high, is going down and I hate it.
I have tried everything to arouse him and make him more adventurous: role plays, naughty nurse outfits, sexting (to which he remained very cold and ended up texting me something alongside the lines of "what's wrong with you?"), surprise HJ/BJ (never works if we're not already hiding under the blanket), playing with myself next to him (to which I get "you're like a horny rabbit", and then get ignored).
He doesn't do oral on me. I think after three years I managed to get two 69s and that's about it. Says he doesn't like it.
He hates it if I try to guide him and tell him what to do to make me come.
I love him to bits, and outside of the sex issues he is a great boyfriend but he hates his body and he hates being told what to do and he gets super tired and stressed at work so I think it all comes from this, but I still can't accept tiredness or stress as an excuse not to have sex...
Any last resort ideas of what I could do in a super discreet and non-intrusive and non "order giving" way to improve our sex life?
Otherwise I'm stuck with playing with myself with LH's toys and being content with what I have (alright sex once a week if I'm lucky!)