That is something to remember, what an experience. @Hubby.and.Wife
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Hi @luscious_laura , Mrs H. here. Mr H told me about the post and encouraged me to share my thoughts as he thought it may help. So here goesâŚ
As mentioned by a few posters here and on the forum in general, talking and honesty are the most important thing. Both with your friend and with your husband. With your friend, I think you need to both be clear that you both really want to act. For me when flirting over a coffee became making out on my couch we knew we both needed to have conversations with our husbands! In regards, to that talk we were already in a good place of open dialogue and sexual awakening so bringing up the subject wasnât the barrier it would have been in the past. He mentions he knew my history so I donât think that came as a surprise. Ultimately, it came down to our experience of suppressing feelings and desires had been totally negative for us as a couple so we knew that wasnât the way to go. It was better to take the leap and see. It could have just been a one off to scratch an itch so to speak.
Setting rules and expectations with all involved is also key. Also understanding these could develop and change. We didnât start thinking this will be a few times a year in fact it was a few times a week when it began! I also found that I wanted my husband more ( certainly helped him adjust!) so sex in general was way up. When it was clear this was something my girlfriend ( there I said it) and I wanted long term we reset expectations and rules again. Discretion and respect for our OHâs were keys to success. Lockdown and relocation reset things again. We now meet periodically which works for all. We have the odd weekend away at a spa so enjoy many wellbeing benefits not just sexual or if she comes to London, Mr H will get told to work in the office that day!
I hope this helps @luscious_laura and best of luck, we all deserve to be happy with who we are and what gives us pleasure.
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@FortySomethingWife = yes think most men fantasise about ffmâŚ
I think more women than you might think are turned on by it tooâŚ
My wife is always saying that dress is nice, sheâs got a great figure, sheâs prettyâŚ
I never say similar about another man. But will agree with my wife if she mentions a man being good looking or in good shapeâŚ
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I wouldnât ever dare comment on a bloke looking good even if it was just a shirt - I think my husband would strop in a huge fashion!
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You see thatâs a difference between yours and mine @FortySomethingWife . Mine would just smile, smug that heâs actually got me. He wouldnât strop at all at that one.
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@FortySomethingWife @KinkyMira Mr John actively encourages a little flirting. Im in saleâs in a almost 100% male industry.
If they like me they ask for me again and I get more commission.
He will ask if my customers are ânice lookingâ he knows that makes my saleâs technique easier 
It never goes beyond professional.
Mr John is totally secure in himself and knows Im not shallow enough to be tempted by a handsome face!
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Spot on there @KinkyMira its great that you, him etc all feel very comfortable with each other. I and my wife are exactly the same, we would comment but know things would go no further and trust each other totally.
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Married have s mistress. Wife donât know
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My OH has never been with a,woman nor do i think she is curious enough but i have always said to my wife if she came to me and said id likecto try being with a woman i would consider it, as much as it would drive me crazy being left out and thinking about what their up to i wouldnt want to deny hwr s life experience that i cannot offer.
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I would however i dont think my Oh curiosity will ever be aanything more than an appreciation. The other thing is if she was to ever sct on it as a first time it would be better forcher not to have the pressure of performing and the jealousy of sharing me
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Then I think it should remain a fantasy rather than a reality. Something for the mind. I am sure you can have many hours of fun without it. @MrsmrB
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@steve19 yes id never push the subject as i knoow how my wife feels and if its ever something my oh wantedxto explore she would let me know
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I have often fantasised about having a girlfriend, it is something I would really like. I would be happy for OH to have a girlfriend.
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Not exactly the same, and Iâm still not proud sharing this even if my partner didnât care.
When I started university I was in a relationship and one night I slept with my flat mate. For about a month we were having what I confess was cheating but incredibly hot sex. When I told my partner what had happened he wasnât angry and found it arousing and I kept having sex with the guy and even sent videos to my boyfriend back home.
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I have to admit, I would be cautious about this too. Rekindling something from university is likely to go badly. Your worlds are so different now. If you are bi curious now than by all means try it. But I think it could wreck your friendship and your marriage if you are not careful. Sorry.
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Great to see you back on here anna. Hope life is treating you well?