Ok, pun intended. But this is something I’ve always struggled with. OH doesn’t complain as I make up for it with foreplay and toys.
But does anybody have any advice on how I can improve my performance? And before you ask my PE is on penetration 99% of the time.
Part of it may just be in your head if you are worrying about it. Need to relax somehow and try to forget about it (easier said than done). It's good that your OH is understanding and not putting any pressure on you. I would say just try not to think/worry about it and relax and see if that helps.
You don't mention if you are using condoms or not but if you are, you could try those delay ones (never did anything for me but may work for you).
I have used https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24230 and it worked fantastically the first time but then never seemed to do anything after that. You could give that a try but sprays and numbing products will just be masking any issues.
Mrs LST here
I had a boyfriend with the same problem, he would cum soon as he got near to penitrating me. In the end I told him I was taking over his problem. The next time we were in bed I tied him up and blindfolded him then went to work on him. I got him inside me and he came so I just started to work on him again and this time he lasted a little longer in me before coming. I didn't stop then I worked him up again and this time he lasted even longer. I think that he suffered from penetration angst so taking this responsibility away from his eventually made him relax. I hope that this suggestion helps you.
For me it was having a tight foreskin on entry, I used a penis pump for a bit and that stretched things enough that the issue went away.
Perhaps also more lube when you first penetrate?
If it is an emotional thing then LST's suggestion sounds perfect :)
Hey happyhusband, first off it’s great that you haven’t let this take your confidence in your bedroom and using foreplay and toys to ensure your partner is satisfied is excellent. I can understand your frustration with the PE but it’s something that plenty of men deal with, and because it’s so common you can get quite a few things to tackle it. Have you tried delay condoms or the cream/balms? These can numb a lot of the sensation and help you last a lot longer which over time can benefit you:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/condoms/delay-condoms/
Also you can seek medical advice from a GP or doctor if it does get you down. Another common word of advice is to masturbate an hour or so before, but if this is in your head then I would try and focus on other things. Try and clear your mind as much as possible before getting down and dirty, if you sit and think “oh god it’s happening again” then chances are it will happen, but if you maybe do
Things such as dirty talk etc to try and put your mind elsewhere this may help. My first step would be to figure out if this is a physical or more emotional issue you are having, but try and remember that this happens to a huge percentage or men and you can get plenty of self help books and devices which help. Maybe get a fleshlight or another realistic vagina to practice on and build up the confidence. A lot of people will use one until they are at the peak moment and then stop and walk away, continue doing this 2-3 times and then let it go. This can help with stamina and endurance. Unfortunately I can’t offer a huge amount of advice but i do hope you can find some
Ways to help yourself, and others here can add some more techniques. I’ll be completely honest that even after 10 years or so, my wife can sometime pull off moves that sends me from 0 to 100 and I just can’t hold back! So it happens to most of us no matter what.
Thanks guys.
No, I don’t use condoms and I have used a cream with no affect. I’m actually married to a GP so she’s paid to be understanding!
I think it’s psychological. When I first started masturbating I lasted for ages. Then I had a moment where I feared being caught by someone and it seems to have flipped a switch that I can’t reset at the moment.
I’m intrigued by Mrs LST’s suggestion though. Can I ask how long it took please? And how did you get off? Before or after?
Thanks Alicia4Ever, some good advice in there.
I’m thinking of starting a support group, but I think we’d all get there too early.
Better early than not at all. X
True, but it gives me no pleasure.