PE.....help 😔
So iv been with my husband 9 years and for pretty much of the 6 years since iv had children hes had PE. Iv never made a deal out of it but its getting me frustrated and i know hes the same. I dont even come close to cumming. Unless there is alot of foreplay. Whats amazing but i am a big fan of penatration but obviously before i get on a roll hes done. And then im just there feeling bad cause i know he is and unsatisfied. We've tried a few different creams and spray and havent found a great one yet. He just gets really excited i think. Any advice or tips please? Much love guys 😘
You said you have used delay sprays, but have you tried this one?
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18912
It really changed our sex life.
Rule of thumb would be not to focus too much on the issue, the more he thinks about it, the more the problem will be there.
As a man who also gets overly excited, lets see what I can suggest.
Firstly do you use condoms? They might reduce the sensitivity and slow down his release. I've also ground the Durex extended pleasure also useful, but only say 50% of the time so don't get your hopes up.
The other thing I've tried is to masterbate 30-45 mins before the main event. I find coming again or rather not coming a second time a lot easier as well.
What is your foreplay like, do you focus on his shaft, if so try focusing else where. Try doing something totally unexpected if you suspect he's getting close. Bite/twist a nipple, spank him, lick his ear, just get his mind away from his penis and your vagina. Hell, slip a finger in if your up for it, although personally that just sends me over the edge.
Does he like cunilingus, if so does he take his time. I've found myself concentrating so much on pleasuring my wife I've become soft and have to work back up to an erection.
Second question, do you use toys? If not, and if he can swallow his 'male pride' get him to penetrate you with a toy make sure you come before he does, but make sure this is handled with care. Try just a few sessions of mutual masterbation. Get a stroker for him, get him use to toys in bed. Then get him to use a vibrator or dildo on you.
Went to order it today but was out of stoke 😔 i dont think about it during sex or foreplay but he might i sont know? Im abit scared to ask or make him conscious about it.
emergencyexit wrote:
You said you have used delay sprays, but have you tried this one?
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18912
It really changed our sex life.
Rule of thumb would be not to focus too much on the issue, the more he thinks about it, the more the problem will be there.
Yes unfortunately it has been out of stock recently, but you can leave your email adress to be told when it's back in stock.
Ahh thanks for replying it good to hear someone elses experiences. So thank u.
We dont use condoms. We both dont like them but we have tried them in the past ans although he lasts slightly longer we both just dont enjoy using them.
Im not sure if he has tried the masturbation before. I try not to bring to much light to it. I dont want to hurt his feelings ans i know hes concious about it. Maybe i should ask? Do u think it would hurt his feelings?
So i think the foreplay is the problem at times. I really enjoying giving head to him and he clearly enjoys me doing it. Ill try the change of tactics if and when he comes close. See how that goes.
Ahh so him going soft after awhile of going down on me is perfectly normal! I thought he wasnt enjoying it so i would make him stop. So i can focus on him again.
We have just bought new toys! He loves using them on me. But my old ones just became boring and i kind of felt like i was demasculating him. Im not sure if thats the case he says its not and always suggests them. All amazimg ideas. Maybe i should speak to him and see what he wants to do. Just dont want to make him feel bad or anything.
August_A&R wrote:
As a man who also gets overly excited, lets see what I can suggest.
Firstly do you use condoms? They might reduce the sensitivity and slow down his release. I've also ground the Durex extended pleasure also useful, but only say 50% of the time so don't get your hopes up.
The other thing I've tried is to masterbate 30-45 mins before the main event. I find coming again or rather not coming a second time a lot easier as well.
What is your foreplay like, do you focus on his shaft, if so try focusing else where. Try doing something totally unexpected if you suspect he's getting close. Bite/twist a nipple, spank him, lick his ear, just get his mind away from his penis and your vagina. Hell, slip a finger in if your up for it, although personally that just sends me over the edge.
Does he like cunilingus, if so does he take his time. I've found myself concentrating so much on pleasuring my wife I've become soft and have to work back up to an erection.
Second question, do you use toys? If not, and if he can swallow his 'male pride' get him to penetrate you with a toy make sure you come before he does, but make sure this is handled with care. Try just a few sessions of mutual masterbation. Get a stroker for him, get him use to toys in bed. Then get him to use a vibrator or dildo on you.
Yep done that. After the reviews iv read we defo want to try it. We looked at the china brush one too but it seems like everything has to be planned to use it and well with a baby i cant really do that haha
emergencyexit wrote:
Yes unfortunately it has been out of stock recently, but you can leave your email adress to be told when it's back in stock.
Yes, the Super Dragon delay spray only needs about 10-15 minutes to be effective. I have also tried the China Brush, but as far as I'm concerned, it was nothing compared to this one. Make sure that your husband wears a condom or you might feel numbed as well.
Have you tried cock rings? Seeing as you both dislike condoms they might be a good way to go. I particularly recommend the adjustable ones, though, be warned, they can take some time to get used to and most men need different things out of them. I.e. my partner needs to physically be released from it before he can orgasm. Another partner prefered around the scrotum as opposed to the base of the shaft, etc.
kyi,
perfectly normal i am afraid, used to get it all the time when i was young. Sometimes it was barely in before i came. Thing is men just dont talk because we just take the piss out of each other but chatted with a few of my mates and we have all had it, He is not alone although he probably feels it!
I think chatting about it would help. if he is self concious and you have both hinted he probably knows you are a bit unsatisfied deep down so the anxiety is already there, chatting cannot make it any worse. Instead of making a deal of lasting longer ask about going twice or slowly. Change the focus slightly. Ask about what you can do to make him worry less.
Things going unsaid is always worse than just chatting.
its normal to go soft when going down, our focus is on pleasing our OH not ourselves. We are simple beasts, thinking it is getting action or vibration is enought to get it up. As soon as that focus goes it droops! Let him carry on and take you further.
There are a few things that work.
As a few people have said cuming before works. Depending on how old he is coming a hour before you go for it should delay him. And to be honest penetrative orgasm the 2nd time around it much better! Wether you blow him off you do something different doesnt matter. As Allice4ever said, time is normally the biggest issue with doing this. Also frequency makes a difference, doing it frequently reduces sensitivity.
As alice4ever said, position makes a huge difference and instead of thrusting just really gentle movements slowly builds up the tension, get in a position where his pelvis is putting gentle pressure on your clit but instead of thrusting just do gentle vertical movements. Thats really reduces the senstivity. its only really the tip of the penis that is super sensitive.
Also help control it by by you taking the lead. When we get started sometime our biology takes over and it can be hard for us to stop
Missoionry on pillows with your hips up and your legs on his shoulder can be good for this. Also you on top allows you to take control.
good luck!
Hi, its wonderful you feel you can open up to us here at LH forums. I have helped a few friends with this issue and I know how upsetting it can get.
It can be solved but takes time an dedication on both your be halves.
Firltly you will need to take control a bit more. This can be very tough for a woman if she is naturally submissive. You obviously care for him greatly and want to sort this out so you can enjoy your sex lives together.
I know your ultimate desire is to have full penetrative sex and orgasm from it . you need to slow him down and increase the amount of fore play and its to be aimed at your pleasure less than his. He is to arouse you close to orgasm before he's aloud to penetrate you.
Secondly try moving his and your focus away from intercourse for a while. Explore oral, manual and toys stimulation. Immerse your selves into exploring all the other wonderful things sex has to offer you both.
Next set a lot more time aside for sex. To build up his time in your presence naked and sexually aroused. He finds you very sexy and wants you so much he's reaching the tipping point to quickly.
Two things to try are giving him hand jobs slow long controlled ones. Helping him to focus on the sensation. Stop or slow right down when he is about to cum. Train him to work on control. Even talk to him tell he must not come. He needs to learn and do pelvic floor squeezes much like a woman's kegels. As he feels his orgasm approaching clamp down on his prostate to hold of his orgasm.
Buy yourself I nice big love honey dildo and have him use it on you so you get to enjoy being penetrated with him.
Then finally you go on top. Grind and rock on his penis don't move up and down until you want him to cum. Engage your pubic bones get your clit on the base of his shaft and rub it there. Stay away from thrusting as its the soft wet firm internal flesh of your vagina sliding over the rim of his penis that brings him off.
Practice your kegels so you can grip and squeeze his penis inside you to increase your please without over stimulating him
Good luck
I can very much reiterate the value of male pelvic floor exercises as a way of improving ones ability to hold off from cumming. I found it difficult to get the exercises right but found that an EMS pelvic floor exerciser to be very good (though I had to experiment a bit with electrodes to get the best out of it). There is no doubt in my mind that a harder erection is another benefit the PF exercise.
One other thing which would be difficult for a partner to suggest but is actually amazing for the man is for him to use of a strapon (not a hollow one but a male harness one like the SpareParts Deuce). I started using one as a back-up against my occasional ED problems but it is so good that I'm usually the one who suggests we use it. Of course there are no stamina issues and entering a lady who has just had one or two orgasms is quite wonderful.
Hey guys
Thanks so much for the replies tips and suggestions. Im going to show him the replies and see what he wants to go with tomorrow after a chat. And we have a big box of goodies coming on Wednesday from LH! So we are excited for that 😉
Really appreciate everyones replies 😘😘😘
kyi wrote:
Hey guys
Thanks so much for the replies tips and suggestions. Im going to show him the replies and see what he wants to go with tomorrow after a chat. And we have a big box of goodies coming on Wednesday from LH! So we are excited for that 😉
Really appreciate everyones replies 😘😘😘
Your welcome and good luck . welcome to the LH forum its why were here 
I would suggest cock rings every time but you need to start off with soft rubber and not steel . Steel are for when your used to using them . I see you have the vibrating one but that will bring you off quicker if you are a novice at using cock rings . P's do lube up . And good luck ...
So I have not had a problem like this for like 10 years but I know when it did happen I noticed it and took steps to stop it from happening again. I was with a girl and twice in a row I had cum within 30 seconds of entering. So heres what I did...
First thing is important... Don't make him worry about it. While him cumming too early is a problem, him not being able to maintain an errection due to stress is even worse. If you wanted to do this without him knowing you are doing it you can.
Edging is what I did at first. Basically masturbating but stopping just before ejaculating and then going to make a butty or get a drink. Then start again... and keep repeating this until you give up and need to cum. You can work this into your general love making by turning it into a tease or just a bit of fun. If you are a woman that has periods and does not like to have penetrative sex during your period, this would be an almost perfect time to work it in. Have him get you off using just his fingers, some lube and your clit. Before he gets you off stop him and then get him to the point of orgasam before swapping back. Over time this should prolong his erection.
Other ways include having him stop during sex to give you oral and then letting him continue.
When it comes to more intrusive ways... Extremely hard masturbations (tight fisted) can numb the penis a bit over time.
Stop him watching porn... One thing many guys do while watching porn is chase that instant pleasure and actually try and cum as soon as possible. This is a bad habbit that he needs to break if he wants to start lasting longer.
Remove sex toys and lingierie... While these things are all nice they are also one more layer or turn ons. Specially when trying a new toy or new outfit. The excitement increase by simply having these in use can knock big cunks of time off his time.
STOP talking dirty... We all love a nice and or naughty word wispered into our ears right? Well these words can sometimes be a little too effective. For instance the words "Im going to cum" to this day trigger me to cum. I already told my OH to not announce her orgasams if she does not want me to finish just short of the finishline.
DON'T let him masturbate just before. While he may last a little longer he will also most likely be a little worse in bed unless he is then doing the deed simply to please you. After I ejaculate I lose interest in sex for a good few hours and while I may be able to get an erection again 20 min later, my hearts just not in it.
Now I am NOT advocating any drug use but being under the influance of certain substances (things like alcohol, canabis and cocaine) can also prolong sex by a fair margin provided they are used correctly.
ONE LAST THING...
PE is often considered a one sided problem however that does not need to be the case. If you yourself started to masturbate a little more frequently, get him to talk dirty and play with yourself a little more during sex you can train yourself to orgasam quicker as well. While it may not be enougth to reliably reach orgasam in the time he gives you by both working towards these goals you should be able to "meet somewhere in the middle" much faster.
Have you tried golden root blue capsules they are great. Only try 1 capsule as they will give you an errection for hours. Even when you have ejaculated your penis stays errect for hours. After taking a capsule you need to wait for about 2 to three hours before sex for best results. Again do not take 2 capsules at once. I did this and had an errection for 2 days and could not sleep it was painful. Good luck !
Tony71 wrote:
Have you tried golden root blue capsules they are great. Only try 1 capsule as they will give you an errection for hours. Even when you have ejaculated your penis stays errect for hours. After taking a capsule you need to wait for about 2 to three hours before sex for best results. Again do not take 2 capsules at once. I did this and had an errection for 2 days and could not sleep it was painful. Good luck !
If that happens again go see a doctor ASAP, more than couple hours of erection can cause lasting damage!
Good to know it works though,