BJ/prostate massage/anal

My OH after a few bottles of wine tried something i didn’t expect, whilst giving me a BJ she gave me a prostate massage, i was shocked when it started first as i didnt expect it and it was my first time ever getting one and really enjoyed it… To her amazement she didn’t expect my reaction and think she got a shock as well from my positive reaction… .

I did ask my OH on previous occasions would she try anal but she declined and wasnt interested in trying it and i respected her wishes, but after seeing my enjoyment last night i asked the question again , and i was surprised with her reply, and i think she is going to think about it…

Any advice for us as a couple from couples on experiences and how to start off ( i dont think she would like toys) any ideas or tips would be great, so if she comes around to the idea so she can see couples reviews what to expect and also ideas for beginners on how proceed and make the experience enjoyable and fun…


I would recommend just taking it super slow when it comes to anal. Plenty of lube and listen to your body.
There are a few beginner toys which will help with setting the mood and relaxing so maybe worth a look. I know she said she may not like them but worth a look


I agree with @KentCouple1990 to take it slow and use plenty of lube. I had a bad anal experience and didn’t let my husband come near my ass for a decade, and we’re only recently starting back up with anal play, so don’t rush it or she could be permanently turned off the idea of it :+1:


Agreed, it’s going to take some time to get up to speed by soooo worth it. As @PKH said you don’t want a bad experience and to ruin it.
Start with fingers/toys and then work your way up


I feel your pain @PKH
Very similar to us.


I’d say try to do as she has done to you. When you go down on her, let your tongue go a little further down than usual. Slow and gentle, plenty of lube, tip of a finger or thumb circle the entrance then dip in a little. At first, as you probably know, it’s a very strange sensation at first which takes time to get used to, comfortable with and more relaxed to go a little deeper.
Slow, gentle, steady & lube plenty of lube. Just don’t get any numbing lube, you need to feel what’s going on, any pain, stop.
Oh, and enjoy!


As everyone else has agreed, communication, plenty of lube and take it slowly. There are toys to use and we have a vibrating butt plug, but you need to be relaxed and slowly work on opening the anus, use a finger 1st then after a while another before slipping in the butt plug or your penus.
Remember slow and steady, any pain just stop otherwise it won’t be enjoyable.


Delighted for you! Your unexpected prostrate massage sounded amazing, and I’m glad you both seemed to have a very positive experience. Your other half is obviously keen to pleasure you and explore new experiences. As exciting as it is, as others have said take any next step slowly and don’t force it too quickly. It might even occur naturally if she’s already thinking about it also, if not after taking with her you will hopefully reach a point when your both fully ready to explore more.


As others have said, slow to start with and lots of lube but for me the most important thing is to be really turned on and wanting it. If not feeling horny and ready it will not be a good experience for her. From personal experience the psychological barrier is a much harder one to overcome than the physical one as if she isn’t relaxed and into it the sphincter muscles probably won’t relax and it will hurt which will put her off trying again.

Start with oral or PIV and move on from there if you’re both in a happy head space.


Thanks for all the advice, i think its the unknown for the OH…

As my experience i was surprised how much i enjoyed the experience, and think she opened her mind a bit seeing my reaction.

If anal is done correctly and slowly as people say, is the experience a nice one for females and is it worth it, so we can take our time and enjoy the experience

I would suggest that you start off with a small plug (a vibrating one like a butt tingler may be nice) to get her used to the feeling of something in her ass and to open her up a little. You could then move to a larger plug before finally using your penis.

We used a lube syringe to n=make sure she was well lubricated internally too.

Finally go slowly and let her muscles get used to the size before you start moving inside her.

I would recommend starting with fingers, go slow and see how she likes it.
if she enjoys that then working up in steps with butt plugs till you hit a size relative to your penis circumference. It’ll make the first time you have anal sex much for comfortable for the receiver.

Google anal training. The shop does sell kits but you can just buy a series of butt plugs. 3.5 inches circumference is a good size to begin with. Dont size up too fast, 1” circumference bigger each time is max (0.5 is what i did as i found it more comfortable).

Start with a silicon plug with a wide solid base, they are very comfortable.
Buy good quality anal lube, dont be afraid to use more. Wetter is better when it comes to anything butt wise.

Take it slow, listen to your (or her) body. Take deep breaths and relax (especially when inserting anything or if you tense up with anything it) If it hurts or you get muscle cramp take it out. Thats your bodys way of telling you its had enough.

Anything anal can feel weird the first few times, you have to adjust to a completely new sensation. Just go with it and be patient.

Oh, also Prep before hand, have a good wash up of the nethers and go to the loo. Some people like to douche, but dont do this too often as it can mess with your beneficial gut flora.

Hope this helps a bit. Theres a ton of info on the forum. Most of all, dont be disappointed if shes not into it. As with anything, everyone has different tastes. People can find anal really daunting so go at her speed. You can always get her to try anal on you too, its a fun thing to explore together.