So recently my male boss has been having arguements with his wife (both lovely people). Since things have been tense with them i notice he comes home earlier.
We never use to chat much before but he now spends quite some time having conversations with me smiling and taking an interest in my personal life. He turned around the other day and called me darling? He also walks me out to my car and said his life would be easier if i moved in.
It feels like he has been giving me signals but im not sure- to be honest i cant really read men.
So do u just think he is being friendly and caring or something else?
Thanks in advance guys (p.s I'm not big headed or anything just a little freaked by his sudden interest)
We never use to chat much before but he now spends quite some time having conversations with me smiling and taking an interest in my personal life. He turned around the other day and called me darling? He also walks me out to my car and said his life would be easier if i moved in.
It feels like he has been giving me signals but im not sure- to be honest i cant really read men.
So do u just think he is being friendly and caring or something else?
Firstly, don't think you're being big headed so don't worry about that.
I'd be a litle concerned to be honest - he's having problems and needs to be sorting them out first.
I think whilst I'd be flattered with the attention, you should defo be wary. He's your boss and he's going through a break-up. It dangerous territory.
Quick question - he says life would be easier if you moved in - why on earth would it be easier for him if you moved in?? Are you close like that? Seems to me like he's almost looking for a more fun version of his wife??
Hiya - sorry I didn't notice this first time round.
I personally wouldn't read too much into the "darling" moment - I've been tired before now & absent-mindedly called my old boss (female) "mum"
Although him wanting you to move in is a bit peculiar - that would make me feel really uncomfortable. Is it something that in context sounded any less scary? Are you able to ask him in a friendly way to cool it a bit?
He sounds like he's overstepping the mark by quite a bit to me. Depending on how friendly you are normally this could border on harassment. Sorry you're going through this (and sorry for not seeing it on Thursday)
Do you work for them in their home? It does sound from you post as though maybe things aren't going well for them and maybe he has a crush on you. It could be he's just a bit lonely at the minute or he could very well fancy you, which is maybe magnified because he's upset about things with his wife. If he's asking about you moving in personally I wouldn't! You don't really want to get caught in the crossfire of a marriage in trouble ;O) Hope this helps
Yeah i work in their home. I wasnt concerned about the darling comment as i had thought it was a slip of the tongue more than anything but coupled with the whole move in comment i then started to feel concerned. I cant talk to him about it
We never really talked much before until a month n half ago and now he makes every effort to have a conversation with me whereas before we only exchanged a few words and a run down of the days events!
Im not sure if im just being over sensitive to the situation or if its an actual problem
So what was the context of the conversation that led him to say that it would be better if you moved in? Maybe part of the argument between him and his wife was over the arrangements over your employment, your availability. Maybe he thinks that if you were more conveniently situated work-wise then he could work on his relationship with his wife, perhaps going out more often, her having fewer excuses to avoid him viz kids or whatever.
I could continue to speculate endlessly because based on what you have said so far there is too little information and context. 'Darling' is a word that is often used in a dramatic almost ironic manner sometimes, so again context and intonation would be key. It seems that perhaps it is too early to be able to arrive at conclusions.
Unfortunately, because of the background between him and his wife which you happen to know about it may be that your early judgement is being swayed excessively in that direction. All this is simple conjecture and speculation on my part rather than being based on any known facts.
Hope that alternative perspective helps.
P.S. If you believe his comment about moving in was serious and that his intent is, well, troublesome, then it would be entirely valid for you to say matter-of-factly that you would not think that a good idea given the domestic circumstances. He would be hard put to raise an objection to such a pragmatic observation. If he had designs on you he would then have to declare his hand openly.
Ok him asking me to move literally came out of the blue. I only live 15 mins down the road and I am always available when they need me. I am extremely flexible with my Job as I need to be because I work with kids.
Just to point out his wife and I get on really well and I always look at them being a lovely family. They do get time to themselves and they know I’m only a phone call away if I’m needed. His wife makes every effort to do things together but he brushes them off – she tries way more than he does. I do believe they love each other just a little rough patch. I haven’t implied that their relationship is non existent or anything just that they have been rowing (which is uncomfortable because its done in front of me).
His whole manner towards me changes when both him and his wife are home at the same time- when his wife is home he barely mutters 2 words to me but when just on his own you cant shut the bloke up.
Too be honest I don’t know! I just know I feel a nervous and tense around him now especially when its just me and him.
I think maybe ur right about being young - i am bubbly and always smiling and having a giggle with the kids i think maybe he just misses that part of his life.
I just hate being put in situations where i feel awkward lol but thank u so much x
Congratulations on getting engaged Miss Teach&nurse!
It is a very difficult situation to be in. I had the same with my Landlord but was very naive and didn't realise until almost too late to make sure he knew I was not interested and it's innappropriate (besides being my landlord, and me having my OH, he had a pregnant wife).
Hopefully being engaged will send the right message across for you without having to make things anymore uncomfortable. You obviously like his wife aswell so maybe steering the conversation onto things he and the wife enjoy doing, or just enquiring after her might help (it's not very subtle but he would get the message)!
