`ello people, just wondering if someone can offer me some advice.
I`ve been fancing this guy at work for quite a while now. Every time I see him my stomach does a somersault, when he says hello I go weak at the knees and my mouth dries up.
He`s not the usual kinda guy that I find myself attracted to, I usually go for clean shaven, short hair kinda smartly dressed, but he`s the total opposite - shoulder length hair with a greying streak, loads of stubble, quite scruffily drerssed, but he has AMAZING blue-grey eyes and a wicked smile.
We`ve usually encountered each other in the corridors at work, and on a few occasions he has winked at me. I`m married and I know he is in a relationship too, but what I`d really like to know is how do I know that he`s just being friendly or if he fancies me too??
watch how he greets or how he acts with the other females in the office, if he winks at them then he's obv just a playful flirty guy but if hes not and he's winked at you that would be a pretty bold forward thing to do, he can prob feel ur attrected to him too and its a mutual thing?
Also I think if ur out a guys leauge (are u?) and they do the winking, flirty things its coz they know they dont have a chance anyway so feel safe to be playful because it would be harmless. but if he reckons hes in with a chance then that would be a sure fire move on u to break the nicey nicey act and see what your move would be next? xx
Hi sorry to be blunt but reading your post makes me think your unhappy in your marriage and your posibly looking for some kind of excitement. good luck with everything i hope you find what your looking for!
pinkk - I don`t think he`s winked at anyone else, or at least I`ve never noticed. The first time he winked I was with other colleagues, so I guess that was pretty bold of him. He does seem quite shy, but then again I don`t really know him that well ...... yet!!! I don`t think I`m out of his league - more like the other way around!
Fizzy - ur right, things sre pretty naff at home, and have been for quite some time. Been married for 20 years and I don`t feel as if I can give anymore. It`s not excitement I`m looking for, altho I wouldn`t turn it down, it`s more appreciation and loving that I`m looking for.
I`m convinced that hubby has a drink problem as he can`t go one evening without a bottle of wine, yes I said bottle. Most people may have a glass or two of an evening, hubby has a bottle and sometimes a second. Take yesterday for example 4 bottles of larger plus a bottle of wine!
Shellyboo - I don`t think I could ask him outright! If he said no I would feel a total prat! But I suppose that would sort my head out.
Tisme - we don`t work in the same office, just the same building, and I don`t see him every day, just most days and that`s because the room housing the telephone apparatus/exchange centre is situated in one of our clinical areas.
Maybe I should just be grateful that someone has noticed me and not read too much into it.
Thanks for all your responses tho, it is greatly appreciated
Hi bi Bbw Have u talked to your oh about his drinking If u can that is and it's great to b noticed by someone new Y shouldn't u feel good about it I hope some good comes your way soon xxx
I find work place flirting difficult to figure out. I know from my own experience, that I'll generally flirt with anyone at work, purely to make the day go a little faster, and to bring a little bit of excitment to a usually mundane day. I mean, who doesnt like the prospect of going to work, knowing that you might see 'that person', wondering if they will flash you a cheeky grin or wink, perhaps their eyes will stay on yours a little longer then necessary. Its a delicious feeling.
It could just be that hes found someone (you) who reciprocates his friendly flirting, or maybe hes noticed youre not hapy at work,so is trying to cheer you up? He could be the kind of guy that likes the ego boost, and has seen the effect he has on you. Or he could genuiely like you! Its a tough one to call!!!
I guess if I were you and wanted to know where I stood, I would up the flirting a little bit, not like WHAM in your face flirting, but maybe a subtle touch of his hand or back when you walk past him, maybe say hi (if you can speak ;)) and see if he strikes up a conversation.
On another note, I think your marriage and your husbands drinking is a whole other situation, that Im probably not really able to help with xxx
I find work place flirting difficult to figure out. I know from my own experience, that I'll generally flirt with anyone at work, purely to make the day go a little faster, and to bring a little bit of excitment to a usually mundane day. I mean, who doesnt like the prospect of going to work, knowing that you might see 'that person', wondering if they will flash you a cheeky grin or wink, perhaps their eyes will stay on yours a little longer then necessary. Its a delicious feeling.
It could just be that hes found someone (you) who reciprocates his friendly flirting, or maybe hes noticed youre not hapy at work,so is trying to cheer you up? He could be the kind of guy that likes the ego boost, and has seen the effect he has on you. Or he could genuiely like you! Its a tough one to call!!!
I guess if I were you and wanted to know where I stood, I would up the flirting a little bit, not like WHAM in your face flirting, but maybe a subtle touch of his hand or back when you walk past him, maybe say hi (if you can speak ;)) and see if he strikes up a conversation.
On another note, I think your marriage and your husbands drinking is a whole other situation, that Im probably not really able to help with xxx
Hi bi Bbw
Have u talked to your oh about his drinking
If u can that is and it's great to b noticed by someone new
Y shouldn't u feel good about it I hope some good comes your way soon xxx
Hi randubugger,
I have spoken to hubby about his drinking, and maybe for a few days he`ll cut down or even not have any at all, then come the weekend he starts all over again. I`m not against people drinking, but to me he drinks far too much, and he wonders why his waistline is expanding!
Only 3 girls I work with know how I feel towards this guy I fancy, and they`ve all said pretty much the same thing - flirt with him and see what happens. But on the few occasions I have actually spoken to him, I sound like a bumbling teenager - NOT a good impression! My mouth just dries up and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth!
Haven`t seen him for a while, maybe he`s hiding from me lol I do get to perve over his pics on facebook tho lol
I find work place flirting difficult to figure out. I know from my own experience, that I'll generally flirt with anyone at work, purely to make the day go a little faster, and to bring a little bit of excitment to a usually mundane day. I mean, who doesnt like the prospect of going to work, knowing that you might see 'that person', wondering if they will flash you a cheeky grin or wink, perhaps their eyes will stay on yours a little longer then necessary. Its a delicious feeling.
It could just be that hes found someone (you) who reciprocates his friendly flirting, or maybe hes noticed youre not hapy at work,so is trying to cheer you up? He could be the kind of guy that likes the ego boost, and has seen the effect he has on you. Or he could genuiely like you! Its a tough one to call!!!
I guess if I were you and wanted to know where I stood, I would up the flirting a little bit, not like WHAM in your face flirting, but maybe a subtle touch of his hand or back when you walk past him, maybe say hi (if you can speak ;)) and see if he strikes up a conversation.
On another note, I think your marriage and your husbands drinking is a whole other situation, that Im probably not really able to help with xxx
Hi jenkat,
I did speak to him a few weeks ago as I was leaving work, he asked me where I was going cos it was lunchtime, and I replied that I work part-time, then he asked any plans for that evening, and I said the first thing that came into my head - that I may go skinny-dipping that evening, he laughed, so I guess he does have a sense of humour, because as my username states i`m not a small lass.
I did send him a birthday card, and put my number on it. And he phoned to say thank u, but nothing else has developed, but there`s so much building work going on at the moment corridors are shut off and its a complete mare, so I only catch a quick glimpse here and there.
Maybe I`ll just stick to fantasising about him at the moment
I think, the ultimate decision for you is to work out if your marriage is in real trouble & if it is worth saving. And, you need to figure out if you are genuinely attracted to this colleague. Once you've figured out those doubts, then you can progress further in the direction you've chosen.
Yes, it's good to be noticed by someone who makes you feel attractive - especially if your relationship at home isn't going as great as it once was. But, you have to be careful that your husband doesn't learn of your flirtations & possible feelings for this colleague. No matter how minor & harmless they are, people can often jump to the wrong conclusion.
I hope everything works in your favour, whatever the outcome will be, but it's all about what will make you happy in the long-run.
I haven`t seen the object of my affections for a few days now, it`s either he`s avoiding (severe parania setting in here!) or he`s on leave.
I have sorta made a promise to myself that I`m gonna concentrate on sorting my finances out and save some money before I tell hubby it`s either the drink or me - last night it was 2 bottles of Carling Zest, a bottle of wine AND an own measure of bacardi and coke!
If anything develops between my engineer and myself, well that`s just a bonus. He`s in a relationship too, but I don`t think he would make a move even if he was unhappy.
I am going to watch his band play in a couple of weeks tme with some friends (going out for my birthday), so if he chats - so be it, but if he doesn`t - well no harm done. It`s not as if I`m stalking him. Just gonna play it cool 8-) and see what happens, he may not even notice that I`m there.
P.S Have purchased the pheromone spray just in case ;-)
My fist GF and I were students together at a placement, it drove me nuts being together all the time in the same place, when we went back to our workplaces it was much better, something to actually talk about on an evening.
Hi Sexyboots - I do get attention from my hubby but I`m not interested, and it`s not because of this guy at work, been feeling like this for quite sometime, and hubby only seems to display any kind of affection when either he wants something or if he`s had a few to drink - the latter of which doesn`t exactly do anything to boost my self esteem.
Hi gunther - IF, and that`s a BIG IF, something were to happen between myself and this guy, I don`t think we`d have a problem with work. We in a hospital, He`s on off the phone engineers and I`m an auxilary nurse, if I`m totally honest we don`t see THAT much of each other in the workplace. Hubby VERY rarely discusses anything about work unless I drag it out of him.
Maybe I should just stick to fantasising about him and be thankful that someone is interested - even if only a little bit - in me!
A bit of an update for those who may be interested .....
In work a couple of weeks ago, a fortnight today to be exact, my sexy phone engineer approached me by the shop and asked me how my birthday went, I told him that I had 3 days to go but thanks for asking, and that I had my cider chilling in the fridge ready for me.
Driving home that day I had a HUGE grin on my face and felt like I was on Cloud 9! He remembered that it was my birthday, I was VERY impressed I can tell u! Didn`t think men remembered stuff like that unless either they`re in a relationship or are prompted! - sorry if I`ve offended any man who remembers birthdays without being prompted.
Been off from work for almost 2 weeks, and is suffering severe withdrawal symptoms - ROLL ON MONDAY!!!! altho I am still perving over his pics on facebook lol
I don't think you are handling it all as well as you could be!
Your hustband is obviously drinking for a reason? Either he enjoys it, or its his way of coping with some problems! Either way you should be there for him, you've been married for too many years not to care about it! Help him through it... If he has problems, talk to him about it or try get him to talk to someone else. If he enjoys the drink talk to him about how its effecting the marriage and try get him to cut down bit by bit!
Don't throw away a long marraige just because of lust! and that's all it is! If it was more you wouldn't be putting your husband through this! Even if he doesn't know!
Think of the consequences, if he found out what you want to be getting up to? He'll be drinking more and more!
Quite frankly... Prioritise! 20 years!
Now I'm sorry for ranting but I needed to get that off my chest!
No offense, judgement was intentional!
I don't think you are handling it all as well as you could be!
Your hustband is obviously drinking for a reason? Either he enjoys it, or its his way of coping with some problems! Either way you should be there for him, you've been married for too many years not to care about it! Help him through it... If he has problems, talk to him about it or try get him to talk to someone else. If he enjoys the drink talk to him about how its effecting the marriage and try get him to cut down bit by bit!
Don't throw away a long marraige just because of lust! and that's all it is! If it was more you wouldn't be putting your husband through this! Even if he doesn't know!
Think of the consequences, if he found out what you want to be getting up to? He'll be drinking more and more!
Quite frankly... Prioritise! 20 years!
Now I'm sorry for ranting but I needed to get that off my chest!
No offense, judgement was intentional!
^.^ H2H ^.^
I wrote something alike to this but my computer deleted it grrr,
I agree with H2H and think you should sit down with your husband and tell him about your fancy and just air everything, about how his drinking is effecting you and your self esteem when he comes to you for sex when drunk. If your relationship is making you unhappy then you should find away to end it, but before you do think about how this will effect your husbands drinking and you should really sort out his problems first. As yours of feeling low and unappreciated are alot less than whatever he is feeling to make himself drink so much, and hell only drink more if he realises his wife of 20 years is looking for distractions elsewhere, seen as youve already said he does come to you but you dont feel it. I'd say either work at your relationship or stop it before someone gets hurt. xx
xx