Bought a few things off here to spice things up a bit, nothing too serious, some cuffs and a couple of vibes. Stuff arrived in plain packaging. In the cold light of day I have now moved from thinking its a great idea having some fun, to doubting how they will go down and fear they may have the opposite effect. It looks too premeditated which is always a bit dodgy where my OH concerned. Consequently I have stuffed them in the back of the wardrobe waiting for the 'right' moment. This I fear may be some time coming.... Advice on broaching the subject?.
I think, ultimately, you have done it in the wrong order. Speak to you OH first probably over a glass of wine or two and have a chat about things you would like to explore.
Is your oh not open to trying new stuff, or talking about it? Could you maybe sit with her and have a browse the site, and when you come across the items chuck in a ooh look at that, that looks fun!? Gauge her reaction from that?
Im the one who buys our stuff, and a couple of times i have wondered what the hubsters thoughts would be, but its always been met with a cheeky grin!
Good luck, you never know, she might be chuffed!!
If its a definite no no, at least you can return them
It is a good idea to chat about it first. Maybe even show her the website and let her look around a create her own wishlist?
If you have never used restraints or toys before it is better to talk about it first.
Colonel Lube wrote:
I think, ultimately, you have done it in the wrong order. Speak to you OH first probably over a glass of wine or two and have a chat about things you would like to explore.
im afraid this in spades, take to your partner before spending your hard earned, you might be supprised
It is a good idea to chat about it first. Maybe even show her the website and let her look around a create her own wishlist?
If you have never used restraints or toys before it is better to talk about it first.
Completely agree with on this one
aanda wrote:- im afraid this in spades, take to your partner before spending your hard earned, you might be supprised
If she is into the idea, how do you know what toys etc. she might like?
You never know, she may just surprise you! 
"He who dares Rodney!"
It is a good idea to chat about it first. Maybe even show her the website and let her look around a create her own wishlist?
If you have never used restraints or toys before it is better to talk about it first.
+2. Couldn't have said it any better!
NatandTom wrote:
It is a good idea to chat about it first. Maybe even show her the website and let her look around a create her own wishlist?
If you have never used restraints or toys before it is better to talk about it first.
+2. Couldn't have said it any better!
I fully agree. Don,t surprise her with them.
Hello! I have to agree with the others. Talking it out first would have been the best way to start. Perhaps as Colonel Lube has said, have a wee chat over a glass of wine.
My personal experience was me being brave. Taking a massive breath and saying to my husband "I think I would like to look at some sex toys". He was a bit shocked as I would never talk about sex. We had a great chat about it, considered going to a shop but I'm too shy. I told him I found a website that had an array of products that had excellent reviews. We discussed what we would and would not like to try. Turned out we wanted similar things. He told me to surprise him with the first order so I did. Second order we sat down together. It's become an enjoyable part of our life.
Talk to her. Find out what she would like to try, if anything. Good luck!
Agree with the others :) talking can work wonders! She will probably appreciate the fact that you want to talk about how you feel us women love that type of thing ;) good luck! Xx
I would be totally honest and tell her that you wanted to surprise her and thought it would be fun to spice things up a bit but then the stuff arrived and you realised that she could be horrified and that maybe you should have chatted to her first but that you had the best intentions, I'd confess that you hid them in the back of the wardrobe! That way she can ask to have a look if she wants without the pressure of an unwanted surprise or shock, tell her that you can send them back if she doesn't fancy it but that the two of you could try something new if she wanted to xx
Good advice gem :) xx
It is a good idea to chat about it first. Maybe even show her the website and let her look around a create her own wishlist?
If you have never used restraints or toys before it is better to talk about it first.
There are surprises.....and there are 'surprises' ! I agree with the above..... personally I'd love a surprise of that nature but if she's never done anything like that before it could backfire bigtime x
Another reason why you need to chat is the experience I had. Yes we had that chat and introduced handcuffs. But my Mrs freaked during a roleplay because I attempted to handcuff hervhands behind her back. Apparently she didn,t like that but handcuffing her with her hands in front was fine. You need to find out if she has any of these anomalies before you use them.
Good luck and have fun .
As has been said above, the main thing is talk about it. First time i bought toys with my ex, it was something we wanted to try and had tied each other with scarfs and such so it was natural progression. When it came to it though, we watched the love honey documentary on 4od and then spent hours after searching the site (we did get sidetracked after getting over excited). After that though, we suprised each other and that was all part of the fun.
A good way of bringing it up could be if you saw a LH advert or one of the increasing number of shows about sex and casually ask. It worked like that for me.
Follow gem ;)
Gem276 wrote:
I would be totally honest and tell her that you wanted to surprise her and thought it would be fun to spice things up a bit but then the stuff arrived and you realised that she could be horrified and that maybe you should have chatted to her first but that you had the best intentions, I'd confess that you hid them in the back of the wardrobe! That way she can ask to have a look if she wants without the pressure of an unwanted surprise or shock, tell her that you can send them back if she doesn't fancy it but that the two of you could try something new if she wanted to xx
Any update lone ranger? Hope its going/goes well xx
Well, i went for Gem's approach and it worked. Got away with being called a dirty b*stard, but choices seem to have gone down well. Glad i did it that way than bring them out at the heat of the monent so to speak. In particular the larger of the vibes attracted some positive comments. Looking forward to trying them out. Thanks all.
So glad it went well :) im sure you both have a lot of fun ahead of you. Even though my partner and I have been using toys/bondage/lingerie since the start of our relationship I still have a chat with him before ordering anything new, mostly to save money. It would be a huge waste if he wasn't into it xLone Ranger wrote:
Well, i went for Gem's approach and it worked. Got away with being called a dirty b*stard, but choices seem to have gone down well. Glad i did it that way than bring them out at the heat of the monent so to speak. In particular the larger of the vibes attracted some positive comments. Looking forward to trying them out. Thanks all.