Thank you d.j :)
This community means a lot to me ... plus its a great place to vent instead of just bursting with all emotions :)
Shep1974 wrote:
Sorry. Sounds like a shame. From your picture, I don't think you will have any problems. You look gorgeous and it must be his loss.
+1 I wouldn't be surprised if he comes begging for you to take him back especially as you had just started experimenting with sex as well.
We broke up end of last year, but worked through it n made up, since then sex had started 2 get much better .. I dont quite understand why he couldnt stand up n say if he thought some other problem was in our relationship :(
I am a little disgusted with your exe if being honest. When you split up with somebody you are, as a final act ,duty bound to close the relationship off properly , normally in the form of a chat. I don't think this has happened here and no wonder that you are hurting because he hasn't given you closure that you are entitled to and at least deserve .
It sounds like you do have a very good male mate in the background. If necessary vent your emotions on him and ask him for his shoulder to cry on. I think you will feel better after this and then perhaps have a talk with him as to see if he can help and fathom out why the relationship didn't last .
At the very least he should be able to cheer you up perhaps have a few drinks but DON'T( I don't think you will)be tempted to try to come onto your mate its not worth it as you will risk losing him also .
Take care and good luck
Thanks mysteron your great :)
Not really an closed doord was more of a phone convo :( but he said he was sorry that he couldnt say it to my face because he doesnt want 2 see me upset :( but I know he'd never of done it face to face so I accept that.
I just wish he coulld of spoke 2 me about what he seemed r issues to be rather than just wait til the end.?
And dont worry mysteron no chance of me n friend getting anywhere we certainly dont see each other like that, and he has a girlfriend :)
sassykitten;) wrote:
Thanks mysteron your great :)
Not really an closed doord was more of a phone convo :( but he said he was sorry that he couldnt say it to my face because he doesnt want 2 see me upset :( but I know he'd never of done it face to face so I accept that.
I just wish he coulld of spoke 2 me about what he seemed r issues to be rather than just wait til the end.?
And dont worry mysteron no chance of me n friend getting anywhere we certainly dont see each other like that, and he has a girlfriend :)
As he actually given you a reason ? If he hasn't then he's not given you proper closure . You need a reason as to why he must end the relationship to help you .
What did I miss? You broke up. I'm a chilled person, but I have dated some fire star signs. When they are good, they are very good, when they are bad, it's terrible.
I dont really wanna talk to him atm, but he just said stuff like we're not alike, we dont see each other alot, dont go out or things, that he didnt know why we was together as according to him it wasnt like a relationship etc... that yeah he likes me n did love me, which I said he couldn't of done other wise he'd tell me n we'd tried different things to change things.
Sadly sometimes people are just not mature enough to be honest with themselves or other people. There is a reason why he wants to break up, it could be nothing more than "I just don't love you", but whatever it is, the excuses and ramblings he's given you are not good enough. He does owe you more. But that doesn't necessarily mean you should go chasing that explanation - closure comes from within and if he's not mature enough to help you with that then draw strength from the fact that losing someone like that is not so much of a loss to you.
You could try writing a letter to get out your feelings and then just popping it away in a drawer or even in the bin - the point is to organise your thoughts and feelings. Also try and make sure that you're not idealising him. Love is blind and when we're with someone we obviously focus on their good points and we gloss over the not-so-great as those are things that we are willing to accept in someone we love. Remembering the bad points will help you put things into good perspective and help you see what you can learn from the relationship and take forward in your life whatever direction it may go in.
For my own experience, my husband and I had some minor issues that were blown out of proportion by poor communication. We went to counselling and learnt how to really communicate well and everything seemed great. Unfortunately that was all a lie and he was a cheating scumbag. When he left me he came out with the pathetic cliches of "I still love you, I'll always love you, This is the kindest thing I can do for you" etc. It hurt worse than the reality of "I just don't love you" would have done. He even told me he had feelings for this girl since before we got together nearly 6 years previously (so why get together with me, and why ask me to marry him?!). Like I say, some people are just not mature enough. Concentrate on yourself, on your lovely friend and on healing and having fun. Hugs. x
I'm so sorry to hear about you break up. We are here for you, so feel free to vent your feelings and ask our advice, we will help where we can.
My only advice (this might sound inappropriate but hear me out) is to get out your toy box, split it into things you enjoy using zone and things for use in a couple. Put the couple stuff away separately then work your way through the solo fun toys. It might help lift your mood and I will defiantly release any sexual tension.
time space and toys, the medicine I prescribe.
Thanks for all your support, not really in the mood for any toy time or anything actually :( im just looking forward to a night out n some drinks x