This is a bit random but really need some advice, and don't know where else to go for it! Ok so I recently split from other half and my mate was there to help pick up the pieces. After a few weeks my mate told me he had feelings for me and to start with I said we couldn't risk the friendship, but more time we spent together more I started to get feelings for him. Anyway long story short we agreed we would give it a try but take things slowly so as not to risk friendship. Everything has been great until today when one of our mutual friends text me saying how great it was he's found someone to settle down with (none of our mates knew we had even spoke about it). And true enough I went on facebook to see he is now in a relationship and has been for last 2 weeks.
Anyway my question is why do this, why be so supportive when I left ex, why tell me of all these "feelings", why ask if we could take things slowly and give it a go? Finally why keep.it going when he had a new gf?
He wont answer his phone to me now and wont reply to texts. I feel like an utter fool, like I've been taken for a mug and what makes it worse is he was just some guy he was my best mate. Who do you turn to when your best mate is the one who has caused you to feel like a worthless mug!!
Sorry for dampening everyones mood xx
ERM.. Can I ask... Are you sure you are not jumping the gun here.... And the mysterious new relationship he has declared on fb... In the last 2 weeks.... You sure it is not you he has updated his status for?
If there are photos and posts all relating to a totally different woman... ThT you can see... Then yep... He's a dog.... But it could simply be about you after all.
Speak with him though, that's the best course... But don't go in guns blazing. .. You could have case of no one knows who... But you do😊
Its linked to his new girlfriend, so its not about me. Im not angry he has found someone, part of me is happy for him whats hurt me is the fact he's taken me for a ride until he found someone. He knew I took my break up badly and now hes made everything worse. My breakup was down to my ex taking me for a mug and picking alcohol over me, now my best friend has made me feel just as useless xx
Big hugs Kayliixx I can see why you're so hurt by it that really is a cruel thing to do regardless of past history but knowing what you went through its downright heartless!! If he's not answering your calls/txts there's not much can suggest other than would you be up to confronting him face to face?
Really am sorry you had to go through this and hope you can resolve things of that's what you want x
I know it does and I'm glad that we haven't done anything together yet, but how can someone who is supposed to be a friend be so heartless. I mean why not leave well enough alone in first place?
I think thats a reasonable enough answer x
Hi Hopelessly, to be honest after this I dont want to resolve things, if he was a random guy i wouldnt be to bothered, but in my opinion you dont do that to friends so I guess the friendship wasnt as close as I thought. I thought about going to his but one friend said the new gf is there and I dont know why but I dont see why I should drag her in to it she is innocent in all of this x
kayliixx wrote:
Hi Hopelessly, to be honest after this I dont want to resolve things, if he was a random guy i wouldnt be to bothered, but in my opinion you dont do that to friends so I guess the friendship wasnt as close as I thought. I thought about going to his but one friend said the new gf is there and I dont know why but I dont see why I should drag her in to it she is innocent in all of this x
.
Not wanting to be callous but glad to hear you aren't in to resolving it, friends like that you don't need enemies and I'm sure you have plenty of actual friends who will be there for you x
Tbh none who I'm as close with as I was with him, he was my best friend. I do want answers from him, I think he owes me that xx
Hes know as what we call when men are muppets a wanker x
Obviously to not answer your calls etc is not acceptable from someone who is supposed to be your best friend.
As a man who was in s very similar situation many years ago, may I share something?
I had a friendship with an older women would was going through a relationship break out which lasted over a number of years and we became "best friends". We had a very special friendship and were able to talk and share anything.
Then relationship developed and to cut a long story short we ended up having the most amazing night of sex. But things were never the same afterwards and we lost contact within months. By moving the relationship on from "best" friends we actually destoryed our relationship.
I am not trying to defend fot mate, but it could be that he is running scared in fear of the changing nature of the relationship, he may also be worried about how you would react to him having a girlfriend.
Hopefully he will get back in touch, it not my good friend KF may be right and his is a wanker, she is usually right!
ouch! Must say it threw me and I would have asked the same as Naught Mum. Until right at the end I thought you were complaiining about him saying "take it slow" then changing his relationship status on facebook.
As it is, sounds like what he's done is pretty horrendous!
Facebook is a bit dangerous in that it doesn't always reflect real life quite as it may appear, but if he's really seeing someone else after telling you he wanted to give things a go. It's always a very tricky time in situations like you've had, and due to the extra care and closeness required it can mess with the heads of both people. But stringing two of you along is rotten, nevermind that he's your suppiosed to be such a close friend on top of this!
When's the last time you spoke to him? I take it things have been happening between your two during this two weeks since he's been seeing this other girl?
I dunno....I'm kinda looking for some misunderstanding here to take away from what appears to be such a callous act by a wanker. Sorry to hear this has happened
Tbh, we were spending loads of time together but as I was just out my relationship and not ready to jump I to something else most we did was kiss. Turns out they had been seeing each othet for a while but not officially. We spoke recently and he said that he didn't think anything would ever happen as I was in a relationship then I was single and he just got a bit confused. I've tild him it doesn't excuse his actions and only reason I'm keeping quiet about what he said is because his gf didn't do anything wrong and I ain't going to be the bitter twisted girl he seems to have expected me to be.
Kinkyfuckery is very right and he is a wanker. Apparently they aren't too happy and he has told our friend he made a mistake. I couldn't care less as he has only said all of thisas he found out I have been on a few dates with other guys. I get the whole not wanting to ruin a friendship but if he had said at the time that he didn't want to lose friendship we could have stopped it and been friends. He went about it as a coward and has lost me as a friend because of it.
However onwards and upwards :) xx
For a friend to ignore you, to not even give you an explanation as to why they are stopping contact reflects more on you’re friend than you. He sounds like a coward and by not answering your calls or text’s comes across like he is running away and hiding.
I also wonder that if he really didn’t want to speak to you then he would have said ‘don’t text’ but as he hasn’t I wonder if he is keeping his options open, trying to make you chase him to see how much you like him? If he is then he is still a jerk for being disrespectful to you like that.
I think this has happened to most of us, it certainly has happened to me so I know how hard it is to take. Luckily time heals, keep smiling.
Thats exactly what I am doing thank you xx
kayliixx wrote:
Thats exactly what I am doing thank you xx
Stand tall you dont need people like that in your life xx
Thank you KinkyFuckery xx