Hello,
Im desperate to buy my OH a butt plug, but shes not keen on the idea. If i really oressed im sure she'd agree but id like her to want ro try it to.
Any advice from people on the real joys for her?
Maybe im just being selfish and want it for my own benefit but i would like it to be something we both try together with the same optimism i have.
We're newbues to sex toys and only own a small vibrator and a vobrating cock ring which we boughy not long ago. Looking to expand.
Thanks,
J
I suspect that her resistance might be because she fears you'll want to take it further and further. Most women just aren't into anal despite all the porn. Maybe try reassuring her that you'll never go further than she says you can, then try rimming her during oral, slip a small finger tip in a half inch just as she comes. That'll so iontensify her orgasm she's likely to want more.
My OH just isn't into it though so I just accept it's a no-no.
Good luck and happy expanding
Hi
if she is completely new to plugs then start small. have a look at this page
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/butt-plugs/beginners-butt-plugs/
perhaps show her this page and see if it piques any interest
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/
however if she decides she is not interested and does not want to try then im afraid youll have to give up. you cannot push her into something she doesnt want to. respect is paramount. good luck!
🐼
SquirtyPanda wrote:
Hi
if she is completely new to plugs then start small. have a look at this page
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/butt-plugs/beginners-butt-plugs/
perhaps show her this page and see if it piques any interest
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/
however if she decides she is not interested and does not want to try then im afraid youll have to give up. you cannot push her into something she doesnt want to. respect is paramount. good luck!
🐼
Totally agree - pressing her into something she says she isn't interested in is not a good idea - could end badly!!!! Xxx
You're all completely right! :) ill show her the link and see what she thinks. When i asked her about it before, she mentioned that there isn't any pleasure she would get from it, its just something for me. My point was that im sure its pleasurable for women too, with nothing to back that up, she said she cant see it being pleasurable. I suppose, what im asking is, is there a real science behind it being enjoyable for women? Or is it physological maybe?
Yes I do find it pleasurable and can and do orgasm from it. I also find it pleasurable psychologically firstly because I see it as part of my submission and secondly because of the taboo attached to it.
Some women are like me, others do participate but don't get much from it and others just don't want to do it. The only advice I can give is to maybe to slip a lubed finger there to begin with as sex crazed bear suggested and take it from there.
I think the biggest fear for her would be, if she's clean there and then will it hurt. I urge you both to do some reading up on this. (Type in the search bar - anal as there is a wealth of information to be had and should answer both of your questions and concerns). 😊
It's extremely pleasurable for me ! I can orgasm easily from anal penetration of any description and I have a love of all things anal. I frequently wear a butt plug all day whilst out and about.
But.....It isn't for everyone. I'm sure you won't pressure her if she's really against it. Maybe use your finger to start off with and then progress to a small, beginners plug. Does she play solo ? If so she may be more comfortable trying on her own first....That way she can take it really slowly and stop if she needs too without the fear of letting you down. Make sure whether she plays on her own or with you that plenty of lube is used to help ease any discomfort xx
Thank you. The next time we have sex, i am going to try the finger first, all I've done is pressed on that area before. Thank you for your help :)
TBH in my view you may be better off taking the lead in person so to speak. Garner some curiosity by doing it to yourself in her presence, seeing you take it she will be able to speak to you and see how you deal with it without having to "suffer" it - if you see what I mean. And don't forget the lube!
Wandlebury wrote:
Thank you. The next time we have sex, i am going to try the finger first, all I've done is pressed on that area before. Thank you for your help :)
Don't do that without her aprovation first!
And from what you've mentioned above, I get her reticence. You really seem to want her to like it for selfish reasons.
Ask yourself why you want to get her a butt plug, and if it revolves around you, then forget about it. Ha, and don't get her a buttplug if she said she doesn't want to try one.
And Tiger Dick, I like your Idea
+1 Mamz
Please don't go ahead with wondering fingers acting like you took a wrong turn or that your finger slipped. If you surprise her with something like this it is likely to make her run a mile and if she's not relaxed enough you could hurt her and I know you don't want to do that.
You said you would "like" it to be about both of you. It HAS to be about both of you or it simply isn't happening. No one should do anything just because the other wants to.
I would park the butt plug idea for now. Speak with her first or if she's been okay with you just touching before at least keep speaking with her throughout asking if what you are doing is okay and whether she is okay with you going further. If she says no or is even slightly hesitant in her response then stop. Were talking baby steps and lube lube LUBE!
NaughtyNerd wrote:
Please don't go ahead with wondering fingers acting like you took a wrong turn or that your finger slipped. If you surprise her with something like this it is likely to make her run a mile and if she's not relaxed enough you could hurt her and I know you don't want to do that.
You said you would "like" it to be about both of you. It HAS to be about both of you or it simply isn't happening. No one should do anything just because the other wants to.
I would park the butt plug idea for now. Speak with her first or if she's been okay with you just touching before at least keep speaking with her throughout asking if what you are doing is okay and whether she is okay with you going further. If she says no or is even slightly hesitant in her response then stop. Were talking baby steps and lube lube LUBE!
Absolutely, it isn't a race, nobody life depends on it. The best things are worth waiting for, and if it doesn't happen, I'm sure that you'll still have fun doing other things. And there's the f word you need to have in your life.
Wandlebury wrote:
You're all completely right! :) ill show her the link and see what she thinks. When i asked her about it before, she mentioned that there isn't any pleasure she would get from it, its just something for me. My point was that im sure its pleasurable for women too, with nothing to back that up, she said she cant see it being pleasurable. I suppose, what im asking is, is there a real science behind it being enjoyable for women? Or is it physological maybe?
I used to feel exactly the same as your OH. Anal play was a soft limit for me until I met the right partner. There are lots of nerve endings in that area, and if they are touched appropriately, it can be very stimulating. Personally, I don't find anal play to be orgasmic, but I do find it heightens my orgasm. It also makes my vagina feel tighter, which is more pleasurable for me and a partner.
Tiger Dick makes a very good point - do YOU engage in anal play? (solo or with her?) If not, why should she do something you're not willing to try yourself? If you do, then maybe you can offer to show her and tell her how it makes you feel.
+2 Mamz & NaughtyNerd!
Thank you all :) i asked her and she said if i try it she will :) not something i planned ut im happy to try most things at least once