I'm seriously curious about getting a butt plug - something vibrating though. I broached the subject tonight as to "what would you say if I stuck something in my arse when we have sex" and didn't get an encouraging response. We've done anal many moons ago as frisky students but now we are older (mid 30s) we tend to have more "sensible" sex!! I just fancy the full feeling whilst being penetrated vaginally by OH as I find it hard to orgasm without clitoral stimulation. As for OH he only likes a bit of rimming himself but nothing inserted so the butt plug is purely for my pleasure!
How would you play this one? Buy one and just whip it in without telling him till he discovers in the heat of the moment? Come clean beforehand? Or don't bother pursuing?
Had this been the other way round, if you wanted him to use one I would say don't pursue it but this is for your enjoyment. I would talk to him, say this is what you want to try and you would like it if he would take part. He may get the huff on thinking he isn't good enough for you (it's a common thought) but no willy could give you the full sensation you desire. It also may intensify his pleasure, my husband lived with loves me with a plug in during sex. He says it feels much tighter for him.
I would certainly pursue it. It sounds as if you might have been a bit "what would you think" and not very "I've got a problem". He might have thought it was a random chat rather than a more important discussion, So, I would tell him you are going to buy one, I would explain why you need it, and if he gets the huff, then he needs to grow up. You aren't looking for satisfaction with someone else, you're looking for it with him, but you need a bit of help.
I personally would also take the "sensible sex" thing. Bugger that. I'd tell him you want to become those frisky students again. You want to feel his cock in your ass etc. Tell him things have gone stale and you need to jazz things up a bit, and being less sensible and more like those students seems to be the way to go. As I get older, I get more kinky not less, as I am more comfortable with myself.
He might not like it, but if he loves you and isn't selfish about sex, he should be all over this.
As you didn't get a solid no I wouldnt tell him I think you should just go ahead and do it for you, if he questions it just tell him it's your ass and you'll do what ever you like to it for your own pleasure. You never know your OH may love the look when you surprise him. I see you've done anal many years ago but obviously theres plenty of great advice on butt plugs and anal hygiene on this great forum. Have fun!
Go for it and just say that you want to try it with him and how much it excites you. Hopefully that will get him onboard. My OH really enjoys the feeling when I wear one and he liked seeing it too.
If it’s for your pleasure then I think you should just go ahead and buy one, maybe just put it in before you have sex and surprise him with it, me personally I’d love it if my other half did that
Warn him prior if you think it will freak him out if you don’t, then you can gauge it in the future if he will be ok with undressing you to find you wearing one. Jewelled/ fluffy are quite fun for the viewer.
I hope you can both get back to your 'frisky' activities but believe me when I say that
a) mid 30's is not old and
b) getting older is no reason to take up a more sensible sex life.
We are 66 and 67 and our sexual activities are richer and more varied than they have ever been. We have been using toys for many years but in the last 5 years or so anal sex and pegging has become more important for both of us. We often wear vibrating butt plugs during intercourse and we find it intensifies both our orgasms.
I suggest that you try it. Your OH may find that he enjoys the effect it has on you.
Hopefully this may be the first step in recapturing your frisky sex life.
If he's not fussed then I can't see it would matter one way or the other. It won't have a negative effect on him, in fact quite the opposite probably!
As for the change in your sex life, I'd say the key is communication! Me and my OH have been together almost 15 years, and although we've always had a very healthy sex life, it did get a bit familiar if you know what I mean. Over the last year or so we've both been more open in talking about anything and everything, and now I never know what's going to happen. Just by talking it's given us a completely new lease of life!
I'm just curious as to what his response was? Ya know sometimes you gotta draaaaag something out a man (no offence guys) If you're willing to ask first and speak about it instead of "what would you say" ask if "he would mind" if you done this. With my OH I just put it in there and surprised him with it & he thought it was hot... who doesn't love a sexy surprise 😜
I wasn't fussed at all either with them but my OH bought a mixed set for me and I could see his absolute thrill in the thought of me one so I popped one in and surprised him with it, he loved it and so did I. I'm now a convert. Don't want to use them all the time but nice for a change and the gem ones make it look pretty down there.
You might be talking at cross purposes. He might be thinking of something black and rubbery looking and that's what's bothering him. I think a lot of guys think butt plugs are kind of bondage and / or unfeminine and ugly. They would go crazy if they saw the kawaii jewel ones.
If he watches porn, leave a chosen video involving a nice arse sporting a jewelled plug on the screen when you next finish using the computer LOL.
I bet if you bought a jewelled one and left it on the dressing table he would change his mind ;)
I wouldn't surprise him with one in personally. Be more wily.