Hi guys and gals. Me and my friend were having a chat earlier and I said I would ask in here.
She is a cam girl, in a relationship. She tells her boyfriend everything she is doing and that it is only a job. She hasn't got any feelings for these men. It's strictly money. But he won't accept it. Or give her his blessing. He says it's cheating and he can't have her cheating every week. Even though it's for money for there life together.
So, this brings me to my question. Do you think that my cam model friend is cheating on her partner? How would you feel if your partner was camming?
I personally don't see it as cheating. What about you?
It'd be different if she was in a relationship paying to watch. But she's the model been paid to play..
Everyone, and every relationship is different. For some this will be OK, for some this will not be OK.
Where there is a clash of desires, then one party must compromise, but too many compromises on one side leads to a failed relationship. Paramaters, thats what you need. If you wanna be the best, and you wanna beat the rest, parameters're what you need
My OH and I have our boundaries, as in most relationships, one of us is a little more liberal than the other, but we compromise and reach a happy happiness.
Doesn't matter what I think, only what your friends decide is important to themselves.
David, it's where girls go online switch on there Web Cam and get paid to touch themselves, flash etc. Sometimes they just get paid for spending time talking to the customers xx
My OH and I have our boundaries, as in most relationships, one of us is a little more liberal than the other, but we compromise and reach a happy happiness.
Doesn't matter what I think, only what your friends decide is important to themselves.
You have a very non-mundane view for most things Sub. I very much admire that.
Yeah it would be cheating in my eyes, but I'm old school! If my partner was getting paid to talk dirty or strip online then let's just say he wouldn't be my partner anymore, but I understand that for a lot of people it's harmless.
I don't think it's wrong to do it, but I think it's something that should be discussed first. If your partner isn't comfortable with the idea then in my books it's a no go, at the very least out of respect for them. Everyone's different though :)
I'm a bit biased with this because I have personal experience of it, but I don't think it's cheating. It's not physical or emotional closeness so I don't see how it can be cheating.
I can maybe understand that some people would be jealous though, and it's definitely problematic for your friend if her partner thinks it's cheating.
When I used to cam, my partner was in the room a lot of the time but obviously not visible to the camera (naughty me, I think it was against the site's rules).... perhaps if your friend's partner was there and felt more involved it could help them. If this isn't an option, he could even watch her free room. I guess it depends on what sort of jealousy he's experiencing. I think for some people being more involved and understanding all of the details of what their partner is doing takes away the jealous aspect because they're not imagining the worst, but I guess other people find it even worse seeing their OH in a state of undress chatting with other men.
Personally, it's not jealousy that's the problem. It's where your personal boundaries and morals lie, I don't think it's wrong to feel the way I do about it, even if I'm the odd one out. :/ My partner would never allow me to do it either, but that's totally fine because we're on the same page and we have the same boundaries when it comes to what's cheating and what's not.
The problem may lie in the fact that your friend and her partner have different boundaries, so somehow they need to find a way to compromise. I don't think she can expect him to be totally fine with it if it's something he perceives as being morally wrong, he's entitled to feel that way, but likewise it wouldn't be fair for him to get to call the shots either. Tricky situation!
To me, if she was doing it for fun/kicks then it's cheating, if she's doing it because it's a job then it's ok.
As others have said though it's all relative and it's different for every couple. If they've spent a lot of time camming together in the past then I can see why he may have a harder time dealing with it.
If this was my OH, then I would consider it cheating. It doesn't matter if it's "just a job" it's still other men seeing her body and I would not be comfortable nor would I accept that. It would definitely be a dealbreaker and I would end the relationship immediately.
i think it would depend if my OH was already a cam girl before I started dating her. In this scenario I think one would have to accept that it is her day job the same as any other.
Not sure how I'd feel if she started once the relationship had been established for a while.
Also I think it would be different if money wasn't involved i.e. it was pleasure rather than employment
However in all cases I would be worried about the possibility of explotiation either as blackmail or some sort of stalking/ pestering.
This has actually been a topic me and my partner have been talking about recently as being a cam girl is something that I am very interested in. Not as a job, but just because it's something I enjoy.
For me and him, it's not cheating until things get too personal or intimate. Obviously if I was to start camming and was doing one to one sessions, then that would be too much and be concidered as cheating as it's just too personal. Anything outside of the camming site would also be a no go for the same reason.
To be in a relationship as well as being a cam girl, both people in the relationship needs to be comfortable with it. If my partner wasn't ok with it and felt like I was cheating on him, I would stop without question. Knowing that your partner is hurting because of something you are doing and trying to ignore it is a pretty clear sign you shouldn't be together.
I dont think its cheating. It is her job and she, as you say, has hidden nothing from him.
Cheating to me starts when you start hiding things from your partner and lying to protect what your hiding.
If she is being open and honest to him then he should aprreciate that. Of course, she could compromise and search for work elsewhere if her relationship is more important than her job.
If he knew this about her prior to entering into a relationship then he should have thought twice about getting involved in the first place.
If she took up this job whilst in a relationship with him, and was aware it would upset him, then yes she should have thought twice about the job - but again I wouldnt count it as cheating.
I dont think its cheating. It is her job and she, as you say, has hidden nothing from him.
Cheating to me starts when you start hiding things from your partner and lying to protect what your hiding.
If she is being open and honest to him then he should aprreciate that. Of course, she could compromise and search for work elsewhere if her relationship is more important than her job.
If he knew this about her prior to entering into a relationship then he should have thought twice about getting involved in the first place.
If she took up this job whilst in a relationship with him, and was aware it would upset him, then yes she should have thought twice about the job - but again I wouldnt count it as cheating.
Was going to say this myself but didn't want to write too much, ahaa.
Personally, I think it's cheating, and if my OH was doing it I would be heart broken, it's not about having feelings for the men but allowing the men to see you and have thoughts about you. Especially as her partner has said he sees it as cheating, to continue doing despite knowing his feelings is the real cheating, she can't force him to accept other men wanking over her so she should stop or leave, I don't see any other way round it tbh.
yes every relationship is different, but boundaries have to set for every couple and he has set his, she should respect that. Our relationship is very clear, even allowing someone to think they have a chance with out is cheating, we don't even flirt with anyone else, this we set out early in the relationship and stick by, it's the only way a couple can trust eachother by respecting the others boundaries, whatever they may be