Hi everyone! Been a while, hope everyone is okay
I posted a while back about my difficulty reaching orgasm during sex. I spoke to the doctor about it and tried coming off of my antidepressants but that didn’t work out. However I’ve tried taking a different angle of my issue now as something I said confused my doctor.
So, I often find I get super sensitive, super quickly… Like, I’m feeling too good? This causes me to slow down, and then eventually stop. It’s a different feeling to when I do reach orgasm during intercourse, and I’ve tried powering through it before but I always end up stopping.
Anyone else experienced this at all? Is there a way to combat it or am I just dealing with my pleasure really poorly
It took my wife a long time to be able to have more than one orgasm in a session. It left her too sensitive to continue, but with practice she is now largely able to power through to multiples .
Ah, I’m a guy (my bad for forgetting that in my original post) My partner generally doesn’t get too sensitive, maybe because I can’t go fast for long enough without stopping myself!
As you’re a guy, I’m guessing you don’t multiple orgasm very well? Are you wearing a condom? If not, adding one might remove some of the sensitivity so you can last longer. Since I have female anatomy, cumming too fast isn’t so much of a problem as I get multiple orgasms. Of course, cumming before I’m even touched can be a bit embarrassing.
I don’t have first or second hand experience with this but could you try delay sprays? I know primarily they are used to make you last longer but in your case maybe it will just help with that level of sensitivity? Does it happen with solo stuff too?
I am female, the closest I’ve gotten to the feeling you’ve described is PIV but constant gspot stimulation in certain positions.
The feeling is so incredibly intense, like I should be climaxing but I’m not. I can never get over the edge (yet)
I understand the feeling of wanting to stop. But the second clit stim is added I fall off the edge of the earth, the orgasm is insane.
I’m not sure how similar it is, but all that to say, can you experiment with an additional sure fire way to climax?
For example, perhaps experiment with prostate stimulation, and if you haven’t tried it there’s loads of threads on here to get you started.
Just throwing ideas out.
Is the problem that when you ease off you can’t get yourself back to orgasm and don’t cum at all? Or that it doesn’t seem to help/no matter what you do you cum before your want?
It’s not so much advice for your primary concern, but more a workaround, is to focus on your partner’s pleasure either orally or with toys, and then when they cum you can go ham without worrying about holding back.
Other advice I don’t think I have much to say without better understanding your question.
Soo, it’s more - I don’t hold back at all, I don’t reach orgasm at all without getting oversensitive. In fact my partner doesn’t want me to hold back as she enjoy me finishing inside her. If that… Makes sense? I’m not the best at explaining stuff
Delay spray - haven’t tried that before, or even considered it… So that’s something for me to give a go!
Now that’s an interesting idea - might have to bring this one up to my girlfriend! I’ve read a bit about Tantric type massages and they do always sound so nice
Sounds like what you’re describing I’ve experienced as actually getting overstimulated to the point of desensitization. I’m circumcized, if that helps to frame my experience. I’m just going to spitball a few different thoughts that have all had varying degrees of influence.
I find that thrusting positions are most likely to desensitize me. I can thrust for a while and it’s fun, but it rarely gets me there and in fact can kind of wear out my capacity/urge to cum. Instead I prefer positions that are more grinding: get into a deep spot and the very subtle/shallow movement or more grinding. So this looks like more of CAT than missionary, more prone bone than doggy.
More or less lube might be the answer? Too much and suddenly I’m in a slip and slide with no friction to progress. Too little and my head can get overstimulated and desensitized.
Focus on her pleasure first (oral or toys) so that when she cums you can cum in and go for it without holding back at all. I especially enjoy being invited in to hold a static position (basically be a dildo) while my wife uses her Womanizer. I don’t thrust until she’s cumming around me and it’s a very pleasant, intimate experience.
If you do happen to cum fast, does she mind using a toy, hand, or your mouth to finish? Maybe just go for it. We’ve had occasion where I cum too fast so she busts out a toy and by the time she’s cumming I’m hard again and can slide in. Not always a second cumming, but I can at least still be inside.
Other things I’ve experienced influence issues with performing up to my expectations are the usual alcohol, illness, stress, and finding just starting to worry about whether or not I will cum and getting stuck inside my head. So working on being present is huge. I also have struggled with porn addiction that was related to stress and anxiety and not even masturbation, and making headway on kicking that nasty habit has been immensely rewarding.
Is it possible you‘re experiencing orgasm without ejaculation? For a lot of guys, the orgasm and ejaculation happen so close together they‘re considered as the same thing. In your case this might not be the case at all.
I can imagine a scenario where an orgasm kicks off a rush of pleasurable hormones, followed by intense sensitivity, that eventually numbs the sensations in the penis. The ejaculation might not be reachable for much longer in this situation.
In my own case, it sounds like I have the opposite concern. However I’ve learned to utilise and enjoy the post orgasmic oversensitivity I feel, to help induce a numbing sensation in order to prolong the session.
The intense sensitivity after an orgasm lasts for about a minute for me (I often have to withdraw or stop completely during this time, and then the hormones kick in to numb everything and slow the buildup to eventual orgasm (or sometimes not). Where I used to ejaculate too quickly for my liking, I now have this element of choice.
For me the period of reduced sensitivity lasts for around 15-20mins typically. However, if I orgasm and don‘t ejaculate again, the cycle kicks off again.
I wonder also; have you explored prostate stimulation at all? Perhaps with a vibrating plug (with or without PIV)? This might be a way to explore whether you can somehow bypass the sensitivity you’re describing and build up to a different form of, ejaculatory orgasm?
Just please do me a favour and don‘t worry about what‘s 'normal‘. We‘re all different, sex education is abysmal in most parts of the world, and you‘re still young and willing to learn!
Hey! This was super helpful, thank you! It is possible this may be the case. Recently my Girlfriend has suddenly decided she’s going to learn blowjobs (and is doing a good job of it!)
I’m using toys on her in return, so we are taking a step back from PIV and focusing more on the other stuff before starting penetration.
So far so good! I’ve always been quite sensitive down there, so it may not be a completely bad thing!
