I absolutely love my man and sex is amazing, but I never cum for sex, I need oral, I think if it was abit longer I could get there but I don't know how to approach the subject, I don't want him to think he doesn't last long enough, it's me that takes too long. help?!
Lovehoney sell both delaying creams for men and creams for women to apply to the clitoral area to make you more sensitive and achieve better orgasms ... Maybe approach the subject by saying you might like to try one of these creams because you're struggling to reach orgasm, and then as you talk about it you could suggest he tries a delaying cream also? That way you're attempting to fix the problem from both directions, and hopefully he won't take offence ...
Have you considered trying condoms to delay things a bit? I say this because condoms tend to work that way for some men (taking away some sensitivity - esp the thicker ones) and the truth is, if your thinking of buying a delay spray for him to use during penetration, you will probably need to use condoms along with it anyway......because the spray/cream will numb you too! lol (Also not sure how safe they are for the mucous membranes inside the vagina - it could sting or burn, as well as numb)
Have you had any conversation already about this? It may be as simple as asking him to delay his orgasm. Training himself to edge. If he is not aware of your desire, he might not even try to go longer, but asking him if he can go longer might be all you need to do! If not, then just be honest and say you think it might be possible to orgasm from him penetrating you, make a big deal about how it would be the first time, or how you have not experienced that before and would love to...with him. Then say that you know you take quite a while so does he think sprays or creams might help him go however long it takes.
At least that way, you are stroking his ego that you can do a new thing, thanks to him and making out the time issue is yours.
Remember that there really is no such thing as too fast or too long to orgasm. Its all relative to the person you are with! I mean, I actually am the opposite of you and like my guy to cum really fast ,....its all relative so neither of you are "wrong" just out of sync a little.
Good luck. x
I onced gave a guy a BJ after using delay condoms, My lips went numb and became swollen. Looked like I had botched lip fillers! 
Purring-Pussy wrote:
I onced gave a guy a BJ after using delay condoms, My lips went numb and became swollen. Looked like I had botched lip fillers! 
Yep! I use delay spray on my guy - for different reasons than mentioned in this thread (Orgasm denial, chastity etc) but I always avoid getting them anywhere near my face/mouth vagina and ass. The best way to do that is first of all allowing it to sink in (lots of these sprays work after a certain time, after they sink in) and then putting on a condom. I personally don't like any kind of numbing for anal (If it hurts, that's my body saying stop) and I don't trust it near my delicate vaginal membranes.
Sorry to hear about the mouth incident! Bless you x
Fluffbags wrote:
Purring-Pussy wrote:
I onced gave a guy a BJ after using delay condoms, My lips went numb and became swollen. Looked like I had botched lip fillers! 
Yep! I use delay spray on my guy - for different reasons than mentioned in this thread (Orgasm denial, chastity etc) but I always avoid getting them anywhere near my face/mouth vagina and ass. The best way to do that is first of all allowing it to sink in (lots of these sprays work after a certain time, after they sink in) and then putting on a condom. I personally don't like any kind of numbing for anal (If it hurts, that's my body saying stop) and I don't trust it near my delicate vaginal membranes.
Sorry to hear about the mouth incident! Bless you x
Was my own fault, I totally forgot. Funny when I look back on it, but at the time, I didn't half panic!
I agree with the numbing products for anal. Have tried them, but then thought it wasn't too good an idea, as I need to read the signs of my body.
Tricky one this isn't it. He comes so quick because you make him horny and because you are so good. Have helped 2 friends recently with the same issue.
Like most things here on LH it's down to communication. Here's an approach you could try. I think you are an amazing lover and I love feeling you inside me so much . It makes me feel loved and so close to you do you think there is something we could do to make it last longer
I love when he cums quickly sometimes, even if he can't hold it back during foreplay that's a massive compliment because I've done something for him that was so good he couldn't hold back. But sometimes I really want to cum while he's inside me, we've had all the conversations and to be honest he does last longer now than he used to, and I'm so close, I just need a tiny bit longer. We also don't like condoms, I want his cum. I wouldn't use anything on him I wouldn't use on myself, and I'll be testing the gel on myself before considering using it on him, I know it's different but just for peace of mind I want to know it's totally safe for him to use
Do you need to be on the bottom. We had a similar issue. It's thrusting that does it in the missionary position we can't help thrusting and I suspect like most men the feeling of your woman's warm moist inner folds against the flared head of penis sends you over the edge.
Take control go on top and grind more than Bob. My wife has become very adept at this. She used to lean forward and whisper in my ear don't you come not yet. She stopped doing that cos it had the opposite effect.
She wanted exactly what you desire. So she also got the basic LH wired cock ring. She sits up on me and traps this between our pubic bones trapping her clit between us and it. Never fails she just grinds on it and me. When she comes she whips it off and bounces up and down demanding my come .
One last thing we do which adds a bit more for her is I lie of the bed with my feet on the floor my butt half on and off, she then straddles me. She is totally suspended and it feels like my penis is stopping her sliding down. Not sure why but this angle helps me delay my orgasm.
I was on top for about a minute once during foreplay (guess which pussy/stroker you're in) it did feel amazing but I'm so uncomfortable on top and don't really know what I'm doing, how to thrust, I have a few learning disabilities and I have trouble with coordination, I can't really master patterns (like clapping in time to music)
Another idea that just came to me, aside from the Condom/delay spray combo, is to actually work yourself up a bit before penetration begins.
If he is struggling to wait the full length of time it takes you to reach orgasm, you could try starting ahead of penetration, getting yourself half way there beforehand?
Another idea: After his orgasm, wait half hour (or however long it takes for him to get erect again) and then go again. Guys can most commonly last longer the second time around. Not always, but often.
The final thing to suggest is a long term solution: Training him to edge. When I first met my guy, he would last the average 3 to 5 minutes, but because I am a fiend for tease and denial, I introduced him to edging. My goal wasnt to make him last longer, just to tease him like mad. Over the first few months, expect him to have less control and for him to tip over occasionally, but in the long run, if he trains himself to sense when he is on the edge, or close to the edge and then stops and lets the sensations die down, he can go longer. My guy is at a point now where he won't cum if he doesnt have permission and can take literally hours of constant teasing. (with a few rare accidents lol) Of course, this probably won't work for you if the constant stopping stops you from getting to orgasm, but to be honest, this is the best I think you will get without using delay sprays or condoms or going for a second. Men just naturally orgasm much quicker than we do.
If the last method appeals, do some research on "Edging" "how to edge" and "Orgasm denial" There are tons of tips and tricks online.
Best of luck!
Thanks, I've just bought a g-spot vibrator to get me closer before we have sex. He did used to last a matter or minutes but just waith gentle hints he's learnt to last longer, but by stopping or by moving away from stimulating positions, it's so frustrating when I'm right on the edge and he stops.
how does your man resist you teasing? I thin kudos be useless at orgasm denial lol he cums sometimes during foreplay, and he'll give me a heads up and I just get excited and push him over the edge, then remember that I can't have sex now. He says he can't have sex if he's cum... But could he? If I made him cum during foreplay then he spent half an hour on me do you think he'd be able to manage it, I might raise that idea, thanks fluffbags
Young and fun95 wrote:
Thanks, I've just bought a g-spot vibrator to get me closer before we have sex. He did used to last a matter or minutes but just waith gentle hints he's learnt to last longer, but by stopping or by moving away from stimulating positions, it's so frustrating when I'm right on the edge and he stops.
how does your man resist you teasing? I thin kudos be useless at orgasm denial lol he cums sometimes during foreplay, and he'll give me a heads up and I just get excited and push him over the edge, then remember that I can't have sex now. He says he can't have sex if he's cum... But could he? If I made him cum during foreplay then he spent half an hour on me do you think he'd be able to manage it, I might raise that idea, thanks fluffbags
Honestly, it depends on the guy (or person) Some guys can be ready straight away (rarer but it happens) others need a full day to recover. Those are the extremes and most guys fit somewhere in between. For my guy its about half hour. My guy is exactly like your guy btw....he could cum within 1 minute of foreplay sometimes (Bearing in mind I don't let him cum for weeks sometimes)and more often than not, within 5 minutes. He is not any different from most guys like that, but he just spent a long time being "trained" not to cum lol. It is a learned skill that most guys can master. It just takes time and practice (There are many different methods to delay it, so experimenting is good too)
I guess the simple message is experiment, with creams, sprays, trying different edging techniques, experimenting with how long he takes to recover and ready to go again etc. Lots of fun experimenting! :D
He takes at least a day, or so he claims, I have a much higher sex drive than him. I don't want him to think he's not enough, because that's not the case, it's just something I want to try, I've got a gel coming for tester, it's probably the only way I'll be able to bring it up
Young and fun95 wrote:
I was on top for about a minute once during foreplay (guess which pussy/stroker you're in) it did feel amazing but I'm so uncomfortable on top and don't really know what I'm doing, how to thrust, I have a few learning disabilities and I have trouble with coordination, I can't really master patterns (like clapping in time to music)
This is why sex is such a wonderful thing. All your problems, issues and troubles can fade away for a while. You are very lucky person Fluffbags has taken an interest in you and your thread she is our own ( fairy sex mother). Wise, experienced and caring. Her advice is legendary amongst us regulars. It may not suit you but it will be valuable. I would have to totally back up her wonderful advice. Extinguish very bonding it takes time to learn your OH s body. How far you can take him. My own wife is very skilled at it but we have been married for 25 years.
Your OH is coming to soon. This is a small problem , he is coming to soon because you are sexy, good and make him. These are great for you and easy to work on. When on top rhythm and going up and down on his penis is what will make him come sooner. Put him in and don't go up and down let him feel your breast and grab your but don't go up and down . Just sit or kneel on him and enjoy the feeling of him in you. Use your vagina to squeeze him this will be much more stimulating for you than him. Men need something rubbing against t the rim of the head of the penis. Know with him in you rock your pelvis backwards and forwards so you are making his penis feels good for you. Then if you can tip your pelvis forward so your clit is in contact with his penis base and just rubbing it against him. This should all stimulate you more and him less. Good luck we are Allways here to help. Don't get wound up relax and enjoy. Your problem is a small one that we can sort.
I suffer with Fibromyalgia, which is basically a chronic pain syndrome. I really understand the issues with going on top. If you suffer from any kind of disability, it can effect your sex life and make certain things uncomfortable or even impossible. Not to worry though, there are always other options and occasionally, ways to adapt.
I think I understand what Gentle Giant is saying. That for him, if his lady is on top, this is a position where he can last much longer because he isn't in control of the movements. His point is valid. If you can find a position that stimulates him less and you more, it might tip the balance in your favour. Of course, that doesn't have to mean going on top (My guy orgasms quicker when I am on top. The stimulation might be lower for him, but the visuals are more than enough to compensate and he gets there quicker). If you found a position where he wasnt getting the ideal stimulation to push him close fast (for us, it's him laying on his side and me laying beside him in a "T" shape with my legs over him) Grinding, rather than thrusting is also a good idea to try.
GG: If you keep calling me "Fairy Sex Mother" It's gunna stick! lol At least I have a wand! (Wields the Deluxe)
Thanks fairy sex mother :) the best for my pleasure seem to be the ones that give him least pleasure, my legs on his shoulders and me on top leant back, both make him rub my g spot incredibly. Cock rings have really helped. I think I'm being a bit selfish, he does last a fair time, maybe it's just about me practising to get myself there better, I think spending more time on me during foreplay, I tend to spend loads of time on him, particularly since I bought him loads of toys.
Fluffbags wrote:
I suffer with Fibromyalgia, which is basically a chronic pain syndrome. I really understand the issues with going on top. If you suffer from any kind of disability, it can effect your sex life and make certain things uncomfortable or even impossible. Not to worry though, there are always other options and occasionally, ways to adapt.
I think I understand what Gentle Giant is saying. That for him, if his lady is on top, this is a position where he can last much longer because he isn't in control of the movements. His point is valid. If you can find a position that stimulates him less and you more, it might tip the balance in your favour. Of course, that doesn't have to mean going on top (My guy orgasms quicker when I am on top. The stimulation might be lower for him, but the visuals are more than enough to compensate and he gets there quicker). If you found a position where he wasnt getting the ideal stimulation to push him close fast (for us, it's him laying on his side and me laying beside him in a "T" shape with my legs over him) Grinding, rather than thrusting is also a good idea to try.
GG: If you keep calling me "Fairy Sex Mother" It's gunna stick! lol At least I have a wand! (Wields the Deluxe)
Fluffbags I just hope that it's received in the right way . You are deserving of the title and in no way it upsets or offends you. With your permission I would like to refer to you in this way. I think many others feel the same but are a little in ore of you. I have the greatest respect for you and your writting is brilliant. I'm sorry you are unwell but I think you have found your vocation in life and I wish you well.
Young and fun95 wrote:
Thanks fairy sex mother :) the best for my pleasure seem to be the ones that give him least pleasure, my legs on his shoulders and me on top leant back, both make him rub my g spot incredibly. Cock rings have really helped. I think I'm being a bit selfish, he does last a fair time, maybe it's just about me practising to get myself there better, I think spending more time on me during foreplay, I tend to spend loads of time on him, particularly since I bought him loads of toys.
I seriously recommend this. I think this is the right track to follow. If both of you remember that you each take different times (like most couples btw, you are not unusual in that regard) then you can indulge in more efforts to get you at a higher level of arousal before you start. Lots of teasing and stimulating you, none for him yet....until you are at a higher plateau of arousal. Good thinking!
GG: I did not take offense at all. I am honoured you think of me that way. I think I just know a little about lots of things because of the amount of research or experimenting I do for my work. I will never know it all, or even half the amount I wish I knew lol. Sex is just too broad and complex a subject. I learn as much just being here! (One of the reasons I come here often)
I have been unwell for 7 years now...it can really get in the way sometimes, but I am the kind of person that will find a workaround to everything and keep going, because if my brain isn't active, I can't stand it! lol
Thanks fluff, it's obviously not a massive thing, doesn't affect our relationship at all, I always cum it's just when he goes down after he's cum. If it never happens I won't be too bothered, I've received the stimulating gel for tester too which could help. Thanks guys, you've been a massive help