So, sadly it turns out I don't get the woman I want to be with  I am very sad, but guess I just need to move on. So I have joined a dating site, I met the last lady on Fetlife, but don't think I'm going to be lucky enough to find many more women on there.
My question is do you think adding Kink and Fetish to my interest will put women off? Or will it just ensure I find the right woman? There is really not much point in me starting something with someone isn't up for that in someway.
I am going to start going to the local munches, and if I can find more like minded folk with et out to as many events as I can, so I know I might meet someone there. Has anyone got any experiene of dating and navigatig the whole kink/fetish thing too?
I just need to feel pro-active at the minute, it's the only way to nurse my broken heart :( So any advise or moral support it welcome
I think you should tell about your interest in kink and fetish play, you'll have better chances to find the right one then. But, please, be careful! It can attract some weirdos as well, so check up the persons answering thoroughly before entering into something!
My now wife (and submissive) was totally new to the idea of bdsm before we got together. She had been in a very straight-laced relationship before and hadn't fully explored herself sexually.
I, on the other hand, was very dominant and felt that it was integral to who I am. However, I wanted to find someone who I could have a deep emotional connection with, as well as having a different (still very meaningful) D/s time in the bedroom.
We met online and I didn't bring it up at first. We had very vanilla, safe sex to begin with, then I introduced the idea slowly. No idea was forced upon her at all, but our relationship grew as she slowly released her more submissive side.
I genuinely believe that if I had shown everything I enjoyed on my profile, we wouldn't have met; especially as she was so vanilla. However, it was a risk which paid off.
The question you need to ask yourself is - do you want to not tell any prospective partners, and run the risk of not being compatible in the future?
Hello Lady s honesty is the best policy when you need a true relationship. Whatever you like, you and the other partner has to be happy with also. Other wise it won't work. Take care hope you find that special person, they are out there.
I joined fetlife and left within 24 hours!M I just wanted to search the forums for advice etc and got bombarded with email offers - can't be arsed with that.....everyone here is friendly and informative without being pervy ( obvs we are all pervy in a good way lol)
so in answer to your question if your 'kink/lifestyle choice' is absolutely integral to your partner choice I would mention it, you could be quite subtle to begin with maybe....I need to be disciplined by my husband so maybe I'd say I was naughty and needed to be taken in hand rather than spank my ass so hard I can't sit down for days lol.
random but a couple of nights ago i was watching fetish porn and there was a site for a fetish dating website... this was on x hamster so keep a lookout on there as will i and if i see it again i will let you know.
I think you should mention it for sure because that way you will find like minded people and people who see eye to eye with you. Otherwise leaving it out you might get more people message you and you'll get close only for them to run when they find out what your into.
maybe just write you have a few kinks/or fetish in your turn on's list and then you can talk about them when people message you? Plus say your looking for open minded people.
I know how you feel though i would love to meet a girl to try out 'girl on girl' fun with but i can never find anyone...its so complicated when i say 'its a kink of mine to get off with a girl but i've never done it before'
Hi ladyS I'm so sorry to hear that didn't work out. Sending hugs and moral support! It's never an easy thing. Be sure to give yourself some time too before looking for new company.
In terms of when to tell them, if it were dating in person opposed to online you wouldn't list all your interests etc right there in the restaurant. It all happens slowly. No one reveals their true self at the start thats the whole fun of getting to know one another. So just go slow and introduce it when you feel kits right. Just as @Subdom27 said.
I hope you are doing ok! *sends positive vibes your way!!*
I think I'm just really wrried about someone being a good fit in every other way but sexually, I've been there and had to walk away from someone who was an amazing guy, but it just wasn't working for me. I don't want that again and I know I need a) a woman and b) a little bit of kink, ideally D/s but as Sudom said I guess that can be worked on if someone is open minded.
I don't really want to jumo into anything serious right away, but I'm just so gutted things have gone the way they have that I just need comfirmation that there are other people out there. I feel like she was such a good fit for me, I wonder how I'm possibly going to be lucky enough to get that again.
@MissBrownEyes92, given your recent troubles with your ex, I think a nice woman is a good way to go, but then again I am biased, lol. I was the first woman for the lady I can't be with, I knew that and was willing to show her the ropes so to speak, so it can be done x
haha men right now are driving me insane! i think im gonna stick with just my toys for the rest of my life ;) I know so many people that will only get involved with a girl with 'exp' hard when you dont even know if you want women or not! lol. another good place to place an add is craigslist :)
I must be weird then, I quite like the idea of girls who've never been with girls, maybe that's my kink, lol. I'll add to the ever growing list. There's bound to be a feitsh for that on Fetlife, there's one for everything else, lol.
At least you know where you stand with your toys, they'll never let you down, well not if they can help it ;)
On my profile I just mentioned that my interests were not exactly vanilla, people seem to get the hint and I've had people who were curious about kink message.
I must be weird then, I quite like the idea of girls who've never been with girls, maybe that's my kink, lol. I'll add to the ever growing list. There's bound to be a feitsh for that on Fetlife, there's one for everything else, lol.
At least you know where you stand with your toys, they'll never let you down, well not if they can help it ;)
Laughing so hard at this! Story of my life for sure! Ok i cant speak for a woman but in terms of men i've been messed around alot and most of them once they have had their orgasm cant care less about me and just roll off and go to sleep i can imagine some girls are selfish like that too though!!
At least my toys will keep going till i climax...unless the battery runs out ;)
After an orgasm we release a coctail of chemicals, the main culprit being Prolactin it just makes us tired. Only if we have intercourse, masterbation only produces about a quarter of the chemical so we just feel chilled and relaxed.
Perhaps thats the recepie, a hand job first then probably a longer session of intercourse = satisfaction?
If a guy is lacking Prolactin then he can recover quicker and won't be so dopey.
It could be a nature thing to stop us disturbing the deposit of semen!
MissBrownEyes92. Get a mains powered Magic Wand ;)