Hi Guys,
Been with my partner over 3 years now. For the last number of months I have been having problems climaxing through sex. I pass the point of it I could go on and on and nothing. I have had trouble orgasming through sex in the past but nothing to the extent I’m going through at the minute… I usually end up finishing myself off masterbating. Ive been reading google and other pieces it’s saying it could be phycological but I’m not convinced. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Hi @Frostynutella, welcome to the forum.
I think the best advice would be to speak to a medical expert. And talk to your OH to make sure it’s not affecting them.
There are a range of things that seem to affect how quickly I cum - alcohol seems to make a huge difference!
Have you tried any anal stimulation, such as using a butt plug? Might be enough to help out.
Hi there @Frostynutella and welcome aboard. 
The fact that you are able to bring yourself to orgasm afterwards does strongly suggest that the problem has a psychological basis. I’m in no position to guess where the root cause lies, but it’s very often some kind of buried anxiety.
The anxiety may not be directly related to the sex itself: it could be that, deep down, you’re worried about something else in your life. OTOH it may be very directly related: one of those cases where, having had difficulty reaching orgasm with your OH once, you’ve developed performance anxiety about whether you’re going to be able to cum, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - and of course, the more often it happens, the more it becoes a “thing” you’re worried about …and so on.
Definitely talk with your partner about it (away from the bedroom, in a non-sexual context) - you mustn’t bury this kind of stuff - and I’m sure you’re not daft enough to regard it as some kind of failure to “be a man” or any crap like that.
Y’know what might help? Have you ever considered chastity play and edging? I’m not necessarily talking about being locked in a cock cage for weeks on end, but switching the dynamc in your sex sessions to one in which, far from being expected to cum, you are strictly banned from doing so unless mistress gives permission. She could also ban you from solo play when she’s not around (this is where cages come in). Result: you’ll end up like a pent-up volcano, desperate to blow! 
Don’t worry, mate. A bit of honest chat and some creative playtime ideas, and this thing will pass. 
Hi @Frostynutella and welcome to the forums.
Tantra has a lot to say about the conscious experience of sex and through various exercises, breathing techniques and creating sensual and erotic energy as a couple it can be really helpful to shift the focus of your sexual contact away from orgasm and towards connection and pleasure.
That said we all want to cum and make our partners cum so it’s a frustrating place to be for you both. If masturbation is working for you together can you go back to basics and work from there, enjoy that together and add other things when it feels good or right?
I have this problem from time to time, and my wife has been upset about it in the past, but as @PleasureDrone said, if you talk about it and face it together with a bit of creativity i’m sure it will be easily solved for you.
Rooting for you
Hello and welcome @Frostynutella
Some people can get over-used to how tight they grip when they masturbate, which then makes climaxing very difficult in any other way. Could this be part of the issue? To ‘reset’ yourself you can abstain from masturbation for a few months and that can help. If you google ‘death grip’ and ‘no fap challenge’ you should find more info.
Pornography can be a complicating factor too if you’ve started to rely on that while masturbating. That’s another one where giving it a miss for a while can break the habit and allow you to refocus on other forms of mental stimulation.
Not sure if either of those are applicable to you, but thought I’d throw them out there.
Yea definitely something we’ll need to talk about outside of the bedroom. If I don’t cum I just end up masterbating which I feel like I’m constantly doing myself. I’ll knock that on the head for a while and see how that goes and if all else fails try my GP for advice. Buttplugs never have interested me but I’m willing to give anything a go at least once. Cheers guys your help is much appreciated 