Me and the girl had the inevitable chat of "how many partners?" last night, and she had had a couple more than me, it doesn't really bother me but I wasn't expecting her to have had more (I dunno why haha!) but the past is the past so it's all quite irrelevant. So what are your guys thoughts on having different amount of sexual conquests?and is there much difference in numbers between you and your partner?
Ive slept with two people my husband and my first boyfriend , I dont have a clue how many poeple my husband has slept with all i know its more then my count and to be honest i dont want to know i'm just happy to enjoy the experience he has!
Hmmm. Bit different for us since we were both each other's first, it's 'nice' to have that and experience so much together.
Though I enjoyed 'fooling around' with boyfriends, I've only had sex with one man - my Husband. He's only talked of one or two before me.
I had nearly zero experience and he only had a little, so it's been quite alot of fun experimenting and building up to the naughtiness we have now!
MrsPx
I don't have a partner so can't really say in that context but I never even ask the question, as long as I'm the only person they're currently having sex with, the past is history to me.... and yes I always practice safe sex before anyone says that...
You do kind of get an idea through conversations obviously so I'd know if they were a total shagabout, but I never ask for numbers, nor would I answer if asked....
my boyfriend and i have had this conversation - although it was before we were together which meant it was a lot more honest and graphic than i imagine it would be if we had been together at the time!!
He has had 30+ partners (miltary upbringing) he is only 26 and i have only had 5 - but two of these are long term relationships. We discovered that while he had had more partners, I had more experience with experimentation as i had built up a relationship and he was a one night/fling type of guy.
I think we both bring a mixed bag to the table and both of us have never been happier sex wise, so it's really not something that has ever bothered me!
xx
11 here
Frizzer wrote:
11 here
That wasn't the question! hehe :P
eloquentdeviant wrote:
I had more experience with experimentation as i had built up a relationship and he was a one night/fling type of guy.
Yeah we are pretty much the same, mine have been with my partners at the time mainly but hers are a few one nighters.
As WandA said - we were both each other's firsts so no difference in number. Lovely to build up those experiences together.
Adx
I was a bit shocked when my current buddy said how many guys he'd messed around, pulled or been with. I think the number was about six or so that he'd had any sort of sexual experience and mine is three, including him. I think I was more shocked because, well, to be fair to him, it seemed like he has so much less experience compared to what I expect to give. I guess he's just been with the wrong people who didn't teach him well enough. =p Will have to fix that.
We never had that conversation and if he'd started it, I would have told him it was none of his business. We both have a history and I don't see it as relevant to our relationship.
I've had more sexual partners than him; he was in committed relationships for most of his "active" years before we met. I wasn't and frankly, I enjoy sex so I had quite a few short term (ahem) relationships. Someone has mentioned that their more experienced partners seem less experienced; in our case, while he had more "moves" (for want of a better term), I am much more willing to experiment with the kinkier stuff which I don't think he'll ever agree to.
Never in a million years will I ever tell him about my past; he's incredibly conservative and it would not be a good conversation.
My numbers are starting to rack up and I know it put my last b/f off, I tend to just say I've had 4 b/f's and I dont count the one offs or shag buddies!
I hadn't slept with anyone but my boyfriend had slept with someone before we got together,
it slightly bothered me when we first got together but it doesn't now.
i already knew he had only slept with one person before we got together but we have spoke about it frankly also...
i suppose it was different because we were so young, he was 15 i was 16
VW x
Bakewell wrote:
Me and the girl had the inevitable chat of "how many partners?" last night, and she had had a couple more than me, it doesn't really bother me but I wasn't expecting her to have had more (I dunno why haha!) but the past is the past so it's all quite irrelevant. So what are your guys thoughts on having different amount of sexual conquests?and is there much difference in numbers between you and your partner?
The OH knows I've, uh, been around the block a few times, so to speak (I am almost definite my total is higher than his), but beyond that I don't think it'd be beneficial to anyone for either of our specific numbers to get involved. He used to get a little awkward and jealous about any 'flings' I'd mention, and though it's not a problem now, telling him how many there have been...? Er, no. External Media
xx
Both me and the oh have both had allot of previous partners (in the 20s) he beats me by one. It dosent bother me at all we both have experience in different things and have been able to use these.
The other thing is Im very competative and fouund it fun to find things he hadnt done with anyone else so we could have our firsts (which we now have a few)
eloquentdeviant wrote:
my boyfriend and i have had this conversation - although it was before we were together which meant it was a lot more honest and graphic than i imagine it would be if we had been together at the time!!
He has had 30+ partners (miltary upbringing) he is only 26 and i have only had 5 - but two of these are long term relationships. We discovered that while he had had more partners, I had more experience with experimentation as i had built up a relationship and he was a one night/fling type of guy.
I think we both bring a mixed bag to the table and both of us have never been happier sex wise, so it's really not something that has ever bothered me!
xx
I'd go with this. I don't think it matters how many but the experience you get from those times is important. Most of my experience is from long term relationships and I think the couple of one-offs that I have had thought I was quite experienced.
I can remember having this chat with my OH quite early on in our relationship (we've been together 7 years now!!!).
He says he has only slept with 5 women (including me) and i on the other hand have slept with double that. Some of them were 'relationships' whilst a couple were one night stands.I can say this though i was always careful and at the time was young,free and single with no commitments.
What i can say though is my OH is THE best lover i have ever had and to me this is what's important!!!
After all we all have a past and it wouldn't do for us all to be the same :)
Ive had 5 partners and im now in my 40s, three of those were long term relationships. My partner has had nine but three of those were on the first night (turned me on when she told me that). But overall i dont think it matters. We didnt feel the need to tell each other we just did.
I think my OH and I are both similar in numbers (mid teens) it doesn't bother me, we don't really talk about it and to be honest i like to live in the moment not dwell in the past. Ex's are ex's for a reason.