My other half has been expirancing pain using evan smaller sized dildos almost like they don’t fit and are to big but some of them are evan smaller than me?!?!?! Has anyone expiranced this and have any ideas?
1 Like
Are you using plenty of lube???
1 Like
What lube are you using? She might be sensetive to it
1 Like
I think like @Green_Eyed_Girl has said if you are using lube she may be reacting to it. I may be worth trying some other type.
If you havent tried sliquid or YES lubes it might be worth switching to see if it helps. Both have minimal ingredients and are really good
1 Like
Is this a constant problem or is it something that happens for a short period then stops then later starts again? During different points of the menstrual cycle the vagina and the cervix can become more sensitive and it is also possible for this to change throughout our lives.
Is anything else hurting her? Such as using fingers or your penis? It is possible for rougher play to cause bruising or tearing. Being very vigorous or suddenly greatly increasing how often she uses toys can be cause but damage can be caused at any time (and if she was really in the moment when it happened, she’s likely to have felt any pain at the time)
What materials are her dildos? Toys that are made from TPE/TPR are porous and can harbour bacteria, PVC/rubber/jelly toys are also porous and leach chemicals. So if she is using any of those materials, it’s probably time for some new toys.
If they are any other material, it may be worth having a deep clean and sanitise of all her toys.
Does she use condoms with her toys? Latex allergies can develop at any time in life.
What lube is she using? The amount of lube needed can vary throughout the month and change as we get older, as well as plenty of other factors including hydration, stress, and medication to name a few. Allergies and sensitivity to certain ingredients is also not uncommon and can develop from seemingly nowhere. Also lube does have a best before date so it might be worth buying some new lube if the bottle has been open more than about six months.
Has she definitely been in the mood to use toys? Even if she feels she really wants to, if she is finding herself distracted then that can reduce the physical arousal in the vagina which can cause pain.
Also, if once she has had one painful experience, it can play on the mind, meaning when she comes to try again she will tense up, which will cause pain when she tries to insert the toy and so on.
There are also some medical issues that can cause pain which range from thrush to menopause to vaginismus to IBS, and many more. In any event, a trip to the doctors or sexual health clinic might not be a bad thing, just for a check up.
4 Likes
What a superb and full explanation /possible reasons for your problem @Spennymack.
I am sure @Calie will have give you many answers to consider. Good luck.
Conditions like thrush can cause the vagina to feel tight and sore also. Might be worth checking with a doctor or pharmacy, especially if there’s any other symptoms like itchiness or discharge?
Edit: Oops, @Calie mentioned thrush already. My bad
Has she been to the doctors to see if her lady bits inside are positioned normally?
As I’ve read on some other posts about ladies who have tilted uterus or something to do with the cervices that can make intercourse uncomfortable when in certain positions…
@Spennymack
Is it just dildos, or does she experience pain even with you? If any penetration hurts her it could be a condition called vaginismus, where the vagina stops producing enough natural lubricant and/or the muscles close tight.
I’d recommend your wife see a gynaecologist to rule out possible infection, or allergic reaction to a particular toy (rubber and latex are culprits, also practice good toy hygiene).
If it is vaginismus, LoveHoney has some dilator training sets where you can literally retrain the vagina to allow insertions.
And, as others have mentioned, use lots of good quality, fragrance free and water-based lube. I hope you quickly get this resolved.
1 Like
She ses her Dr regularly has went and there is no issues !! It’s not the lube as we have went threw over 20 differant brands but they don’t bother her when used one me or any other type of thing… there is no pain with me penatrating her the only pain is when trying to insert a dildo ! Feels like it won’t fit and is very tight can barly insert it but then I can sit up and insert my self no problem!
It could be a mental block when it comes to dildos, has she had any accidents/problems/trauma from using them?
What materials are the dildos? As I said in my earlier post, some materials can cause issues due to being porous etc but also different firmness levels of materials can make a difference. The harder the material, the less forgiving it is and so she may need to size down (even though she can take much bigger in a squishier material, and yes penises are a squishier material even when erect).
If it feels like her muscles are tightening (and she isn’t doing it subconsciously), that does sound like it could be an allergy. Allergies can develop over time and so something she used to be fine with, she may now not be.
Otherwise, it may be as simple as she isn’t ready for penetration when she/you tried to use the dildo. Which may or may not fit in with my first comment in that she may have not been properly physically aroused, tried to used a dildo and found it hurt and since then her body is tensing because it expects pain again (which it doesn’t expect from you, hence why you can penetrate her).
3 Likes
Very helpful and informative thank you
Perhaps a knob less silicone dilator set would help.
Just purchased a set of these last week !!! Giving them a true test before commenting on them 
1 Like
Excellent advice from @Calie
Like she said, the tensing up can vary from situation to situation. I had vaginismus for a while due to an excruciating pelvic exam. For me i could insert any number of fingers no issue, but toys where very difficult. Good experiences over time helps associate using them with a pleasurable experience.
Starting with something smaller is a good thing to try. What helped me immensely was getting really turned on to the point i really needed something in me, then relaxing and focusing on how much i wanted it in and how good it was going to feel when i inserted it.
Starting with a good warm up, inserting yourself for a bit and then switching to a dildo may also be a good thing to try.
Thin g spot vibes can also be a good thing to try
I hope you both find something that works for her. I know how frustrating it can be
2 Likes